Review a random game (For Laughs)
Ben Thornton
Australia
Edgeworth
Australia
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Go to Browse games and click on Random Game.

Add that game to this list and write a review/run down for it based on the game description. Be as positive or negative as you want just make it entertaining.
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1. Board Game: Jogo do Sushi [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Ben Thornton
Australia
Edgeworth
Australia
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First up, let me just say that Jogo do Sushi has to be the most intense, most delicious board game I've ever played.

Each turn a tile will be flipped showing sushi or sushiman. If it's sushi, players race each other using their chopsticks trying to put as many pieces of sushi on their plate while keeping the levels of bacteria to a minimum. If it's sushiman then players will perform mock battles of street fighter vying for the crown of Jogo do Sushi. Best 2 out of 3 wins.

Be careful if you drop your sushi on the floor though. But remember the 10 second rule and you'll be ok!

*Every copy of this fine game comes with one fully stocked Bento Box*
(consume at your own risk)



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2. Board Game: Motor Delivery Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Jim Becker

Nashville
Tennessee
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No offense to any of you centegenarians, but I'm not sure what's so ripe about the old age of 103. Perhaps Motor Delivery Game is ripe. Or perhaps that's the smell of a dinner buffet starting at 1:30 in the afternoon. Hard to tell.

The entirety of information concerning this game is as follows:

"Die driven race game from Chad Valley. Games comes with 4 lead racing cars, a die and a game board. The object of the game is to be the first one to deliver a new motor vehicle to town."

Feel free to read that again, once you don your bifocals. I'll wait.

Apologies for waiting so long. It appears I took a nap. So did you.

Firstly, DMD came equipped with miniatures - lead racing cars. I originally thought "lead" rhymed with "feed," and I thusly spent the better part of Bingo night trying to figure out how all four cars could be in the lead? What complex gaming mechanism allowed all four cars to share the pole position, and if they all simultaneously delivered the new motor vehicle, how would a winner be determined.

As Agatha won a box of hard candys for her thorough daubing of 0-63, I realized "lead" rhymed with "dead." Coincidence?

Several game testers were hospitalized for ingesting the racing cars, enduring both choking and poison hazards. Perhaps that's why the playing age has been left blank.

I also wonder if the board was constructed of asbestos and the die was molded from plutonium. I suspect we'll never know, as the residents of Chad Valley were since lost in a tragic Woolworth's department store restructuring. May Chad rest in piece.

Credit is due for the designer's ambitious endeavor to create a game for 2-6 players with only 4 cars. The extra two players undoubtedly turned the crank to get the dice rolling.

Overall, I prefer this game to a rollicking time of "rock-paper," but hopefully the invention of scissors will revolutionize that game as well.
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3. Board Game: Solution [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J Weintraub
United States
Commack
New York
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Siemens AG is "a global powerhouse in electronics and electrical engineering, operating in the industry, energy and healthcare sectors." So, at the turn of the millenium, how does this global powerhouse, this massive multinational corporate behemoth decide to promote itself?

They make a game. This game. A game about communications. And what exactly does the game itself communicate? Well, let's take a look at the board, shall we?



Apparently, the game designer took his cues about communication from the Tholians, a race who valued privacy above all else. Good move, buddy. Apparently players have to use this to build a network. What does that involve? Um, er, well, how about a nice shot of the pieces now, eh?




Are those tires? And pitch car tokens? And why the hell does one of the tires say "Hacker"? Oh, right, because it's 2000, and when most people think "hacker" they're thinking about the 1995 movie with Angelina Jolie, or something. Because if you're looking to make a good communication network, you'd better keep an eye out for teenagers in red leather jackets.

I suspect the best solution for this game is one of pure sulfuric acid.
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4. Board Game: Finding Nemo Storytelling Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Wendell
United States
Yellow Springs
Ohio
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Si non potes reperire Berolini in tabula, ludens essetis non WIF.
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Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
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I was bitterly disappointed when I received this game. I was fully expecting it to be a card-driven wargame which would tell us the story of the exploits of Captain Nemo and his submarine the Nautilus in its battles against pirates, injustice and 19th-century European imperialism.

So when I saw the box featured a bunch of fishes, I was a bit surprised. This looked more like a lame game tied to some lame children's movie (no doubt with sequelitis).

Alas, it was in fact a lame game. The only thing in the gameboxtin were a few cards. On the cards were words, and apparently players are supposed to use these words to make up stories about these animated submarine denizens.

WTF? All the kids I know don't need an overpriced tin of cards with words on it to make up stories - heck a couple of weeks ago I watched one four-year-old little girl armed with nothing but a fork making up stories.

Save your money. There isn't anything here that a moderately literate parent with the slightest familiarity about the Nemo movie franchise* could not create in thirty minutes with a pack of index cards and a Sharpie.

I rank this game -1: knowledge that it exists has made my life microscopically worse.

*When the word "franchise" is attached to a movie, that is code that the financial aspects of making those movies will exceed the artistic/ script/character development etc element by an even greater ratio than usual...
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5. Board Game: Bombshells [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
Canada
Chestermere
Alberta
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Life lesson: Hamsters are NOT diswasher safe.
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There are 10 types of people-- those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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From the game description:
Bombshells wrote:
Armed with a ren faire costume and a Player's Handbook, you've decided to cross the final frontier: dating. Vie for the attentions of the bombshells, but watch out... who knows what mood they're in.

On a player's turn, a Bombshell is chosen that the players will vie for. Each player who wants to approach the Bombshell places one of their Offer cards face down, within the range of cards that the Bombshell will accept.

Then the Bombshell's Mood is revealed, which says how the Bombshell is scored and if there's a card limit.

There is a round of adding to offers from those who approached the Bombshell. The offers are revealed, and whoever has the best offer scores the Bombshell.


So, as you can plainly tell, this is a fabulous game for the whole family. Grandma will love role-playing a lesbian, picking up chicks at the Renaissance Fair, and weird uncle Mike will stop surfing the internet for "art research" in order to join the game and hit on all of the available "bombshells".
Rarely will you find a game that can unite those types of people with such differing interests, so this one really shines.
Do you want to initiate a talk about the birds and bees with your young daughter or son, but are having trouble figuring out a way to broach the subject tactfully? Bombshells is the game for you, as well!

I could go on and on, but you've likely stopped reading several sentences ago so, suffice it to say, you need this game in your collection.



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6. Board Game: McDonald's McNugget Buddies Masquerade Ball Game [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Chris Dugas
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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I thought I drew a pretty innocuous game...a game ostensibly about dressing up McDonalds chicken nuggets for a masquerade ball. Who doesn't love dressing up their food? And only vegans are freaked out by their food having eyes, amirite?

Then I looked closer and noticed the game's not-so-subtle subtext of fetishes, porn, and prostitution. I'm no prude, but this is a game with a suggested age range of 3 and up. I'm shocked...shocked and disappointed. Look at the evidence in this picture...



These adventurous nuggets seek to outfit themselves at two locations, one for tops and one for bottoms, an obvious nod to BDSM role play. But the names of those locations reveal that whatever adventurous goings on are happening there are actually for sale at the Top Shop and the Bottom Boutique. Money is changing hands, to be sure. This is possibly what the designers mean when they say the game is good to "practice counting." A glance at the available outfits show at least two that appear to be black rubber or latex and one that has a goodly number of tentacles. I'm not entirely sure about the crocodile-looking outfit, but possibly some sort of reptilian furry variant. The upper left portion of the board just under the clock seems to be a photographer's studio where one enterprising nugget is taking pictures, presumably for a variety of fetish publications. I'm not going to comment on the nugget pieces themselves other than to say that I'm sure emergency room physicians will find them amusing. This game scales from 2 players (vanilla) to 4 players (kinky).

Really, I applaud the sex-positive nature of the game...nothing dark and shameful...the board is all smiling faces and sunshine. But for 3-year-olds? Questionable to say the least.

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