iOS reviews while high on painkillers
Erik D
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Pasadena
California
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note: I do not condone the recreational use of prescription painkillers. It's pretty stupid and we're smart people.

The morning after ankle surgery, I was in so much pain we had to call my doctor for stronger painkillers. My prescription jumped from 2 morphine pills every 5 hours to 3 pills plus 2 Percocet tablets every 4 hours. In a word, wheeeeee!

That was when I commandeered the wife's iPad mini and when on a little shopping spree.
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1. Board Game: Keltis: Das Orakel [Average Rating:6.93 Overall Rank:2309]
Erik D
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It's Candyland on drugs, so it was only appropriate for me to play. the interface is solid, though the tablet buttons are too small, at least on my iPad mini. I can't tell you how many times I played the wrong piece and didn't notice until too late.

How high was I? Tough to tell since game involves warp tiles, way back machines and giggling leprechauns. Not high enough to move the Oracle repeatedly, a strategy the AI relies on all too much.
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2. Board Game: Zombie Dice [Average Rating:6.22 Overall Rank:1839]
Erik D
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There were times where I sounded like the talking zombie in the game. Also, turn of the talking zombie. It slows down the game and gets annoying fast. Otherwise, this is an excellent implementation of the stupidest dice game I've ever Enjoyed. Especially when heads explode.

How high was I? I spent a half hour selecting and resetting randomly selected AI opponent names until Defunct Punk showed up just so I can read on screen "Defunct Punk rolls again!" That desperately needs to be a song.
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3. Board Game: Can't Stop [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:672]
Erik D
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The animations can be a little too precious and the bell that rings when you're at the top of a column but not ready to end the turn is grating, but otherwise a solid effort with great AI.

How high was I? I named my AI opponents Lisa Bot (for my wife) and Lobster Bot (for my lobster). Every time Lobster Bot stole one of my columns, I would yell at real Lobster. Lobster is a stuffed animal.
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4. Board Game: Ascension: Deckbuilding Game [Average Rating:7.03 Overall Rank:546] [Average Rating:7.03 Unranked]
Erik D
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My wife says of most board games: "this would be better on a computer". Never is this truer than with deck builders, even ones as simple as Ascension. I quickly bought all the expansions and enjoy mixing and matching them without sorting through them after each game.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I still haven't won with my all Lifebound strategy.

How high was I? I faced off against three AI opponents this time: Moose Bot (named for my moose), a smart bot with occasional analysis paralysis and a fondness for Mechina constructs; Robo Domo, a dumb bot who lives up to his reputation; and FISH, named for my fish, the same fish Chit Chatters will know for attacking Gola's junk.
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5. Board Game: FITS [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:1385]
Erik D
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If there's anything I can't stand in gaming, be it board or video, it's the artificial inflation of scores. I don't know what was wrong with the scoring of original FITS, but Knizia saw fit to multiply the scores by 125 to 1000.

It's an okay rendition but I do wish some boards were randomly generated. It's a missed opportunity for a video game version.

How high was I? Not very, since the game only held my interest for two or three rounds.
 
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6. Board Game: Medici [Average Rating:7.14 Overall Rank:472]
Erik D
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This is an excellent version of Medici with the widest variety of AI skill I've seen. My only complaint is how the goods tallies are presente, but even that's minor.

You really have to pay attention though. In a fit of cleverness, I once increased the bid by 10 only to realize I was the last one who could make a bid that round.

How high was I? Facing off against three of the dumbest AI opponents the game could find me, I still lost by over 40 Florins.
 
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