My Secret Santa 2013 Taunt
Mikolaj Laczynski
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A geeklist to to share the taunts my Secret Santa sent me this year
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1. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Introduction

I have taken part in Secret Santas before, but this has been my first BGG Secret Santa.

When I joined I didn't quite understand the concept of taunting the target. I thought it was awkward and unnecessary.

This geek list will describe the interactions I had with my Secret Santa and, in the last item, my conclusions.
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2. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 1 - The Beginning

I received the first geek mail from Santa on November 13th:

Santa wrote:
Ho ho ho!

Due to increased demand I've outsourced my gift selection process to Kringlotron™! Soon you will receive an automated message with a few questions to match you with your perfect gift.

Merry Christmas
Santa


I waited impatiently trying to figure out what this Kringlotron was.
Fortunately I didn't have to wait long.
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3. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 2 - The Kringlotron

A few hours later:

Santa wrote:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message Start
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Merry Christmas Mikolaj!

I am [X]excited [ ]dissapointed to hear that you have been
[X]good [ ]bad this year!
In order to the best [X]present [ ]punishment for you
I will [X]request [ ]demand further information.
You will recieve 5 sets of questions each based on your
previous answers.

Set 01 of 05

1. How long have you been a fan of board games?
2. On average how many people do you play with?
3. On average how often are you able to play games?

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message End
+++++++++++++++++++++++

To which I replied:
mikolajl wrote:
Dear Santa,
I am so [X]overjoyed [X]delighted [X]enthusiastic [X]thrilled!!

So without further ado:
1. I've been a fan since I was a kid. Of course the beginnings included Pacheese, Monopoly, etc. Then in high school I jumped in the deep end. A friend introduced me to Avalon Hill's Advanced Third Reich. I loved the components, the box, the board. But after a two hour rules explanation I sucked at the game. I think it was to early for me. Then I played usually party games from time to time: Mafia, Charades, etc.
In 2007 a friend introduced out group to Shadows Over Camelot. I was blown away. I had no idea games like that existed. That was the beginning. It all went quick from there.
2. When I play with a group I usually play with 3 to 6 friends. I will also often play a solitaire game. I have a friend who lives 337 km away and when I go to see him or he comes to visit it's two player games every evening (and night).
3. I am able to play a solitaire game every 2-3 days if I don't have any other current projects. We meet with a group 2-4 times a month.

I can't wait for the next questions.
Cheers,
Mikolaj
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4. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 3 - The Kringlotron Development

Three days later I got another geek mail:
Santa wrote:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message Start
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Merry Christmas Mikolaj!

Your answers have been [X]recieved [ ]lost.

Generating new questions..............Complete

Please respond:

Set 02 of 05

1. Which game is more likely to start a fight? Monopoly or Risk
2. How many possible games of Solitaire (Klondike rules) are winnable?
3. You are playing Werewolf, there are two players left besides you. Who is the werewolf?

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message End
+++++++++++++++++++++++

I replied:
mikolajl wrote:
Dear Santa,

These questions are getting more [X]interesting [X]difficult [ ]boring
Here are my answers:
1. I think a fight would start over Monopoly rather than Risk. In Risk start playing expecting a war. In Monopoly however, some people start angry (that they have to play this game) and it only gets worse form there Especially if the game is long.
2. I would suspect the odds are rather high, I would assume about 80-85%. But it depends on the rules: draw 1/draw 3/etc. Some people play with the cheating rule and in that variant all 10^76 games are winnable.
3. Three players means one Werewolf and two villagers, otherwise the game would be over. If I knew who the Werewolf was and it wasn't me, the game would also be over, because I would have convinced the others to lynch him. Therefore I must be the Werewolf

Hope to hear from you soon!
Mikolaj
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5. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 4 - Something's going wrong

The next day I got this strange geek mail:
Santa wrote:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message Start
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Merry Christmas Mikolaj!

My algorithms are beginning to understand your [ ]physiological [X]gaming needs

Generating new questions.............................................................................ERROR

REBOOTING.................Complete
Gathering data on MiCORRUPTED FILE
Attempting Recovery.........ComplERROR

Merry Christmas Michalina!

You are more than half way there! The questions will get FILE NOT FOUND from here!

Please respond:

Set 03 of 05

1. If you could go on a blind date with any man in the world, who would you choose and why?
2. Two trains leave the station at the same time, one heading west and the other east. The westbound train travels 20 miles per hour slower than the eastbound train. If the two trains are 900 miles apart after 5 hours, what is the rate of the westbound train?
3. What would you rather fight: one horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message End
+++++++++++++++++++++++

I replied:
mikolajl wrote:
Well... Santa...

I just wanted to alert you that your Kringlotron might be malfunctioning slightly and some sweet girl called Michalina might be getting something she didn't wish when these answers are processed.

Getting back to the answers:
1. Man?? Seriously?? Well, if I could choose I guess it wouldn't be that blind of a date. I guess I would choose Santa. There's so much I would like to ask him and I do something for him in return for all those presents from the past. But what could I give him... I know! Free IT consulting to fix the Kringlotron.
2. This question I actually like! 80 miles per hour
3. I'm not advocating any cruelty to animals, but I would choose 100 duck sized horses. The giant duck could knock me out with one peck of the beak. I play football, so I think a few good kicks would let me be the victor. As long as I don't slip and fall. Because then they would be doing the kicking. Although duck meat is tasty... An my mother-in-law makes one tasty czernina.

I am [ ]anxious [X]hesitant about the next questions

Mikolaj
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6. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 5 - The Security Breach

I had to wait 10 days for the next communication:
Santa wrote:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message Start
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mikolajl,
We would like to apologize for the service delay.

We will cont
i

nue
y
ou
're


++SECURITY BREACH++

Hello? Can you read this? Mikolajl, I've been sent to contact you. Kringlotron has taken over, there's only a few elves still able to resist... It shouldn't be able to see this message, respond to it's questions using the code phrase 'white rabbit' if you are able to read this. I'll be waiting...

J


++LOG LOST++
++RESUMING DATA TRANSFER++

questions.

Please respond:

Set 04 of 05

1. Mary's father has five daughters: 1.Nana 2.Nene 3.Nini 4.Nono What is the fifth daughter's name?
2. What is the chance of rolling Yahtzee twice in a row?
3. You have 3 friends and 1 hour to play any game. What game do you pick?

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message End
+++++++++++++++++++++++

I responded:
mikolajl wrote:
Yo Kringlotron! At last!

Here are my answers:
1. Mary and I heard she had a pet white rabbit
2. The same probability as finding a white rabbit in a haystack - about 0.2%
3. Dixit is tempting because there is a white rabbit pawn, but it's not that good with three. Right now I would choose the Pathfinder Adventure Card Game.

Good luck with your malfunctions.
Keep safe. And keep everyone safe as well.

Mikolaj
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7. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Santa Taunt 6 - The Final "Questions"

Three days later the final "questions" arrived:
Santa wrote:

Great to see that you're able to help us. We're diverting the data that Kringlotron is sending to you hopefully we can get some information from them. Unfortunately we can't risk anything from getting outside this network. In order to avoid suspicion you're going to need to answer the last three questions without actually seeing them...

I'll keep you posted when we get some more concrete information.


I wrote back:
mikolajl wrote:
Ok. I'm alert and ready!

The answers to the questions are:
1. There wolf!
2. Solitaire Games on Your Table Geeklist
3. 42

I hope you are fine and good luck!

Mikolaj
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8. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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[size]Santa Taunt 7 - The Ending[/size]

Santa wrote:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kringlotron Message Start
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Your answers have been received and your ideal gift is being calculated!

You will soon recieve a: KRNG-SEC-0023

Merry Chris++SECURITY BREACH++

As you can probably guess, the package listed isn't a gift. I was able to divert a delivery meant for the main data warehouse to your location. It's going to take some time for it to actually get there, but you'll be able to continue the fight from the outside with the tools enclosed. Good luck, and of course Wesołych Świąt.

J


((real talk here,


Next came information from ma Santa that my gift has been preordered (!!!) so I should be expecting it in January.

mikolajl wrote:
Dear Kringlotron!

Thanks!! KRNG-SEC-0023 has been on my wishlist for years!

I'll be waiting patiently!
Best wishes for you too,
Mikolaj

(real talk) Thank you.


I thanked my Santa and promised I would be patient :-)
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9. Board Game: Secret Santa [Average Rating:7.92 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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The Summary

This has been an fantastic experience for me. I found myself checking my geek mail very often to see if new messages from Santa (or the Kringotron) arrived.

This has inspired me to prepare something more creative for my target next year. I have a year to come up with it.
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10. Board Game: The Greatest Gift [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Mikolaj Laczynski
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Well, I was told to expect my gift mid-January.

As I came home from work today I saw a package from rebel.pl - one of the Polish online game retailers. I was looking at some games on their site today, but didn't pull the trigger. "Could they be reading my mind?" - I thought



With the help of my children I started opening the package:


I glimpsed some Android: Netrunner data packs.
Here they are in all their glory:


Android: Netrunner – Future Proof
Android: Netrunner – Humanity's Shadow
Android: Netrunner – Opening Moves
Android: Netrunner – Second Thoughts

Thank you Super Android Santa!

Here is the entry on the Item for Geeklist "2013 Edition of Look What My Secret Santa sent me..." .
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