Unexciting Descriptions of Board Games
Dave Hamrick
(evadimus)
United States
Moore
OK
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Hey all,

When getting new players into the hobby, or even trying to get old players to like a game, we have to use the most exciting descriptions possible to get them to try it out, especially if it's a long game.

But what if we did the opposite?

Sorted in alphabetical order now!
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1. Board Game: 1313 Dead End Drive [Average Rating:5.80 Overall Rank:8257]
Dwayne Wood
(Teach101)
United States
Cabool
Missouri
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Move a pawn and everyone else kills it. Last man to move wins.

Also known as Rodeo Poker.
 
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2. Board Game: 7 Wonders [Average Rating:7.78 Overall Rank:48]
Jim McNaughton
(Maccyn)
United Kingdom
Derby
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Pick up cards, keep one, pass on the rest... change direction.
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3. Board Game: Abalone Classic [Average Rating:6.44 Overall Rank:1502]
Marty "TIRED" Malone
(maloma)
United States
Mansfield
Texas
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"Black" marbles and "White" marbles take turns pushing and ganging up on each other around and eventually off the playground.
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4. Board Game: Acquire [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:237]
Jordan S.
(Webhead123)
United States
Plano
Texas
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Buy stocks and watch companies merge.
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5. Board Game: Advanced Civilization [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked]
Dave Hamrick
(evadimus)
United States
Moore
OK
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Two options:

1) Clear any plans you have for the next three days to move pieces of cardboard around and hope the other players don't give you a bad card.

2) Make a lot of money selling this and its expansion on eBay.
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6. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:7.98 Overall Rank:26]
Dave Hamrick
(evadimus)
United States
Moore
OK
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Get more wooden bits and pieces of cardboard than the other players.
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7. Board Game: Ancient Terrible Things [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:1590]
Corinna S
(CorinnaS)
Germany
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A dark version of Yahtzee with shopping.
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8. Board Game: Anomia [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:1661] [Average Rating:6.61 Unranked]
Marty "TIRED" Malone
(maloma)
United States
Mansfield
Texas
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Flip cards looking for matching symbols then forget how to speak.
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9. Board Game: Antiquity [Average Rating:7.92 Overall Rank:202]
Josh
(Shadrach)
United States
Pennsylvania
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Slowly starve an entire city to death while rendering your countryside wasteland. Build a church and start to pray because nothing else will save you.
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10. Board Game: Apples to Apples [Average Rating:5.85 Overall Rank:3874] [Average Rating:5.85 Unranked]
Jason P
(k3rmit)
United States
New Hampshire
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LEGO Pirate Leia
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Match nouns with adjectives.
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11. Board Game: Arkham Horror [Average Rating:7.29 Overall Rank:275] [Average Rating:7.29 Unranked]
Pete
(Strom40)
United States
Ypsilanti
Michigan
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The grace of Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
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Take 3 hours to setup. No time left to play. Put everything back in box.
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12. Board Game: Battlestar Galactica: The Board Game [Average Rating:7.74 Overall Rank:66]
O.Shane Balloun
(grammatoncleric)
United States
Bellingham
Washington
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Three hours of paranoid accusations between friends.
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13. Board Game: Betrayal at House on the Hill [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:467]
maf man
(mafman6)
United States
endeavor
Wisconsin
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Wait for the shoe to drop
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14. Board Game: Bios: Megafauna [Average Rating:6.97 Overall Rank:2088] [Average Rating:6.97 Unranked]
John Watts
(JPWatts)
United Kingdom
Southwell
Notts
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Create an animal. Watch it go extinct.
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15. Board Game: Blue Moon [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:1014]
Sam Carroll
(spartax)
United States
Urbana
Illinois
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This game has pieces shaped like dragons in it, but they have absolutely nothing to do with the gameplay.
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16. Board Game: Boggle [Average Rating:6.20 Overall Rank:2117]
1 Lucky Texan
(1 Lucky Texan)
United States
Arlington
Texas
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make a huge amount of noise - argue about words
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17. Board Game: Bohnanza [Average Rating:7.04 Overall Rank:407]
O.Shane Balloun
(grammatoncleric)
United States
Bellingham
Washington
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Haggle over beans.
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18. Board Game: Brass: Lancashire [Average Rating:8.13 Overall Rank:21]
Sam Carroll
(spartax)
United States
Urbana
Illinois
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Take out way more loans than you can possibly pay off.
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19. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.78 Overall Rank:17341]
Pete Hooper
(nightglider1)
United States
Rockford
Illinois
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Try as I might, I can't come up with an unexciting one. Anyone want to take a crack at it?
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20. Board Game: Camel Up [Average Rating:7.06 Overall Rank:419]
Steven De Tavernier
(sdetavern)
Belgium
ELLEZELLES
Hainaut
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If Your Dad Doesn't Have A Beard, You've Got Two Mums
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let the pyramid poop dice
bet
laugh, cry
win
LOSE !!
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21. Board Game: Can't Stop [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:682]
Marty "TIRED" Malone
(maloma)
United States
Mansfield
Texas
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Roll Dice. Roll Dice. Stop.
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22. Board Game: Candy Land [Average Rating:3.17 Overall Rank:17560]
Jason P
(k3rmit)
United States
New Hampshire
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LEGO Pirate Leia
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Try not to beat your child, based on pure chance.

See also: Chutes and Ladders
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23. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.43 Overall Rank:155] [Average Rating:7.43 Unranked]
Jordan S.
(Webhead123)
United States
Plano
Texas
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Connect tiles and place pawns on them.
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24. Board Game: Cards Against Humanity [Average Rating:6.01 Overall Rank:3062] [Average Rating:6.01 Unranked]
Rob Schleicher
(Altoid Guy)
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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Be as vile and sick as possible.
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25. Board Game: Castle Panic [Average Rating:6.67 Overall Rank:898]
Corey Hopkins
(chopkins828)
United States
Converse
Indiana
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Spend your turn agonizing over whether or not you should play all the hit cards that you can.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
You should.
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