That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games

Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.

(boltongeordie)

United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire

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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow

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Edited Mon Aug 6, 2007 9:19 pm
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:50 pm

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1. Board Game: Gulo Gulo [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:1127]

Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.

(boltongeordie)

United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire

OK so you need to rescue the baby Gulo who is stuck in the swamp vulture's nest. To get there you move along the islands in the swamp. You do this by stealing eggs from the swamp vulture's nest.

Which is where the baby is!

So if you can get to the nest to steal the eggs why not just go and pick the damn baby up.

AAAAAAAAAARGH thud thud thud (sound of head hitting table).

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2. Board Game: River Dragons [Average Rating:6.48 Overall Rank:1699]

Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.

(boltongeordie)

United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire

So you are this young chap crossing a river (one with six sides but that is only a minor point, it is supposed to be a delta after all, deep breath, count to ten, let it pass).

To cross you lay planks between different islands then walk across the planks.

Before you lay a plank onto an island, you must put a stone there to lay your plank on.

Run that by me again? Can't reach island without plank, cant have plank without stone, HOW IN TARNATION DO YOU GET THE STONE TO AN ISLAND YOU CANT REACH?

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3. Board Game: Rat Hot [Average Rating:6.31 Overall Rank:3056]

Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.

(boltongeordie)

United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire

I will admit the theme is sort of tacked on to this one. But none-the-less, I work in warehouses and it seems like covering up somebody elses spice to hide it would be a pretty good tactic if you shared your space with a rival.

But covering up a rat with its foodstuff of choice. That is plain lunacy man!

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4. Board Game: Lifeboats [Average Rating:6.59 Overall Rank:1412]

Allen Reeves

(ManlyWan)

United States
Akron
Oh

If the sailors can swim all over the map, why can't they swim to the islands?

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5. Board Game: Manila [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:705]

Hammock Backpacker

(matthew.marquand)

United States
Columbus
Ohio

Hot Coffee...Mmmmmm

Go Take A Hike!

What's the likelihood of a pirate being nice and getting on the boat and riding it into the harbor to share in the spoils with the non-piratey types as opposed to acting like a pirate and plundering?! arrrh

...a nice pirate?!

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6. Board Game: The Downfall of Pompeii [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:495]

Swood

(Skadar)

United States
Stamford
Connecticut

Phase I: The Volcano is inactive. Move 1 person at a time into the city.

Phase II: The Volcano begins to "Seethe and Boil". For some oddball reason, you are now able to move 1 person plus all their relatives into the city!

"Hey! This thing is about to blow! Let's have the whole family move into the city so we can have a great look at all the lava."

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7. Board Game: Battlestations [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:1809]

Gary Weinfurther

(elmonty)

United States
West Bloomfield
Michigan

Your spaceship slows down if you don't do anything.

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8. Board Game: Vino [Average Rating:6.46 Overall Rank:3195]

Dave Wilson

(daw65)

United States
Pleasanton
California

"You know, Bill, when we bottled all that Nebbiolo last March, I knew it was a good year. We had three vineyards planted with it, and we're sold out of all that wine! Life is good..."

"Mr. Mondavi? Sir? Um, we seem to have lost one of the Nebbiolo vineyards. We went out to do some pruning and it was gone. Gone!"

Why does selling wine cause you to lose vineyards?

(View the pic full sized to see the schedule of vineyard losses.)

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9. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:22]

Mike K

(Coyotek4)

United States
Fairless Hills
Pennsylvania

Sir, we just finished construction on the new Harbor.

Excellent! Now we just wait for the next shipment of colonists.

Um, begging your pardon sir ... but we have a colonist taking a siesta in San Juan right now; why not have him work the Harbor now?

Uh ...

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10. Board Game: 7 Ages [Average Rating:7.06 Overall Rank:1753]

Allen Reeves

(ManlyWan)

United States
Akron
Oh

The box claims that it can be played in 7 minutes.

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11. Board Game: BANG! [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:1160]

Evan Stegman

(EvanMinn)

United States
Minneapolis
MN

The sheriff doesn't know who is deputies are.

"Hmm, I know I hired a deputy but I can't remember which of you it is. I guess I will wait and see who shoots at me."

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12. Board Game: Pirate's Cove [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:1162]

Darin Stephenson

(KentuckyKid)

United States
Holland
Michigan

I do not run and hide... I strategically maneuver.

So, the "legendary" pirates just sail around, visiting the 6 islands in the same sequence over and over? Doesn't sound very legendary to me...

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13. Board Game: Age of Steam [Average Rating:7.70 Overall Rank:135]

Darin Stephenson

(KentuckyKid)

United States
Holland
Michigan

I do not run and hide... I strategically maneuver.

Let's see...so I have this rail company, and I get the most points for finding the least efficient way of delivering these goods to a city?

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14. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.66 Overall Rank:8343]

Tim Thorp

(berserkley)

United States
Granite Falls
Washington

"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? "

You may be the killer, and not even be aware of it.

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15. Board Game: The Kids of Catan [Average Rating:5.29 Overall Rank:17395]

Just another Steve

(sdonohue)

United States
Allen Park
Michigan

No matter what size or shape the building is, it always takes the exact same amount of resources to build.

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16. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:58]

Allen Reeves

(ManlyWan)

United States
Akron
Oh

The caballeros that paradrop out of the castillo every three rounds seems out of place for a game about medieval Spain.

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17. Board Game: Saint Petersburg [Average Rating:7.31 Overall Rank:261]

Allen Reeves

(ManlyWan)

United States
Akron
Oh

Some of the aristocrat upgrades are illogical.

"Congradulations Judge. You've been promoted to Chamber Maid"

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18. Board Game: Master Thieves [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:2960]

Peter Johns

(edensong)

United States
Houston
Texas

so, everyone places fake jewels into the box.....spins it around and every jewel is now real???!!!! How does that work?!

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19. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.37 Overall Rank:17793]

Kevin Brown

(pilight)

United States
Macon
Georgia

I own 14 houses and 3 hotels, but I think I'll spend the night in that vacant lot owned by my arch-rival over on Ventnor.

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20. Board Game: Commands & Colors: Ancients [Average Rating:7.78 Overall Rank:111]

Mark Ballinger

(thniff)

United States
Seattle
Washington

"You guys, on the left, go attack that guy.

Now, you on the left, do it again.

Dangit! Okay, left guys, once more."

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21. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.77 Overall Rank:17581]

Kevin Brown

(pilight)

United States
Macon
Georgia

Igor, they don't match!

--Are you sure, master?

Of course. I'm a doctor, I can tell.

--They seem fine to me, master.

Just go and get some more. I want at least 48 pair to choose from.

--Yes, master.

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22. Board Game: Candy Land [Average Rating:3.18 Overall Rank:17799]

David Kahnt

(DKahnt)

United States
Youngstown
Ohio

It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.

You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...

It would suck if your kid is color blind.

"Okay son, now go to the red square. No, the red square..."

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23. Board Game: 1313 Dead End Drive [Average Rating:5.80 Overall Rank:8422]

David Kahnt

(DKahnt)

United States
Youngstown
Ohio

It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.

You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...

...wait I might die?

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24. Board Game: Mouse Trap [Average Rating:4.08 Overall Rank:17791]

Kevin Brown

(pilight)

United States
Macon
Georgia

So I'm playing a mouse. You're playing a mouse. And our objective is to build a mouse trap?

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25. Board Game: Antiquity [Average Rating:7.91 Overall Rank:199]

Josh Luub

(squonk)

United States
San Jose
California

Ok, so when I find food, my famine level goes up. Excuse me? And when you find food, my famine level goes up. Say what now?

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