That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
(boltongeordie)
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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1. Board Game: Gulo Gulo [Average Rating:6.83 Overall Rank:1408]
Board Game: Gulo Gulo
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
(boltongeordie)
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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OK so you need to rescue the baby Gulo who is stuck in the swamp vulture's nest. To get there you move along the islands in the swamp. You do this by stealing eggs from the swamp vulture's nest.

Which is where the baby is!

So if you can get to the nest to steal the eggs why not just go and pick the damn baby up.

AAAAAAAAAARGH thud thud thud (sound of head hitting table).
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2. Board Game: River Dragons [Average Rating:6.50 Overall Rank:1930]
Board Game: River Dragons
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
(boltongeordie)
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Bolton
Lancashire
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So you are this young chap crossing a river (one with six sides but that is only a minor point, it is supposed to be a delta after all, deep breath, count to ten, let it pass).

To cross you lay planks between different islands then walk across the planks.

Before you lay a plank onto an island, you must put a stone there to lay your plank on.

Run that by me again? Can't reach island without plank, cant have plank without stone, HOW IN TARNATION DO YOU GET THE STONE TO AN ISLAND YOU CANT REACH?
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3. Board Game: Rat Hot [Average Rating:6.29 Overall Rank:3778]
Board Game: Rat Hot
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
(boltongeordie)
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Bolton
Lancashire
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I will admit the theme is sort of tacked on to this one. But none-the-less, I work in warehouses and it seems like covering up somebody elses spice to hide it would be a pretty good tactic if you shared your space with a rival.

But covering up a rat with its foodstuff of choice. That is plain lunacy man!
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4. Board Game: Lifeboats [Average Rating:6.59 Overall Rank:1682]
Board Game: Lifeboats
Allen Reeves
(ManlyWan)
United States
Akron
Oh
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If the sailors can swim all over the map, why can't they swim to the islands?
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5. Board Game: Manila [Average Rating:6.99 Overall Rank:851]
Board Game: Manila
Hammock Backpacker
(matthew.marquand)
United States
Columbus
Ohio
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What's the likelihood of a pirate being nice and getting on the boat and riding it into the harbor to share in the spoils with the non-piratey types as opposed to acting like a pirate and plundering?! arrrh

...a nice pirate?!
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6. Board Game: The Downfall of Pompeii [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:568]
Board Game: The Downfall of Pompeii
Swood
(Skadar)
United States
Stamford
Connecticut
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Phase I: The Volcano is inactive. Move 1 person at a time into the city.

Phase II: The Volcano begins to "Seethe and Boil". For some oddball reason, you are now able to move 1 person plus all their relatives into the city!

"Hey! This thing is about to blow! Let's have the whole family move into the city so we can have a great look at all the lava."
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7. Board Game: Battlestations [Average Rating:7.12 Overall Rank:2294]
Board Game: Battlestations
Gary Weinfurther
(elmonty)
United States
West Bloomfield
Michigan
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Your spaceship slows down if you don't do anything.
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8. Board Game: Vino [Average Rating:6.45 Overall Rank:4009]
Board Game: Vino
Dave Wilson
(daw65)
United States
Pleasanton
California
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"You know, Bill, when we bottled all that Nebbiolo last March, I knew it was a good year. We had three vineyards planted with it, and we're sold out of all that wine! Life is good..."

"Mr. Mondavi? Sir? Um, we seem to have lost one of the Nebbiolo vineyards. We went out to do some pruning and it was gone. Gone!"

Why does selling wine cause you to lose vineyards?

(View the pic full sized to see the schedule of vineyard losses.)
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9. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:7.98 Overall Rank:29]
Board Game: Puerto Rico
Mike K
(Coyotek4)
United States
Fairless Hills
Pennsylvania
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Sir, we just finished construction on the new Harbor.

Excellent! Now we just wait for the next shipment of colonists.

Um, begging your pardon sir ... but we have a colonist taking a siesta in San Juan right now; why not have him work the Harbor now?

Uh ...
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10. Board Game: 7 Ages [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:2184]
Board Game: 7 Ages
Allen Reeves
(ManlyWan)
United States
Akron
Oh
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The box claims that it can be played in 7 minutes.
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11. Board Game: BANG! [Average Rating:6.51 Overall Rank:1316]
Board Game: BANG!
Evan Stegman
(EvanMinn)
United States
Minneapolis
MN
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The sheriff doesn't know who is deputies are.

"Hmm, I know I hired a deputy but I can't remember which of you it is. I guess I will wait and see who shoots at me."
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12. Board Game: Pirate's Cove [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:1355]
Board Game: Pirate's Cove
Darin Stephenson
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United States
Holland
Michigan
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I do not run and hide... I strategically maneuver.
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So, the "legendary" pirates just sail around, visiting the 6 islands in the same sequence over and over? Doesn't sound very legendary to me...
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13. Board Game: Age of Steam [Average Rating:7.79 Overall Rank:125]
Board Game: Age of Steam
Darin Stephenson
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United States
Holland
Michigan
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I do not run and hide... I strategically maneuver.
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Let's see...so I have this rail company, and I get the most points for finding the least efficient way of delivering these goods to a city?
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14. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.67 Overall Rank:8777]
Board Game: Clue
Tim Thorp
(berserkley)
United States
Granite Falls
Washington
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"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? "
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You may be the killer, and not even be aware of it.
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15. Board Game: The Kids of Catan [Average Rating:5.24 Overall Rank:20890]
Board Game: The Kids of Catan
Steve
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United States
Allen Park
Michigan
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That's probaby some crap over there.
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No matter what size or shape the building is, it always takes the exact same amount of resources to build.
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16. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.75 Overall Rank:83]
Board Game: El Grande
Allen Reeves
(ManlyWan)
United States
Akron
Oh
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The caballeros that paradrop out of the castillo every three rounds seems out of place for a game about medieval Spain.
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17. Board Game: Saint Petersburg [Average Rating:7.29 Overall Rank:317]
Board Game: Saint Petersburg
Allen Reeves
(ManlyWan)
United States
Akron
Oh
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Some of the aristocrat upgrades are illogical.

"Congradulations Judge. You've been promoted to Chamber Maid"
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18. Board Game: Master Thieves [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:3588]
Board Game: Master Thieves
Peter Johns
(edensong)
United States
Houston
Texas
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so, everyone places fake jewels into the box.....spins it around and every jewel is now real???!!!! How does that work?!
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19. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.38 Overall Rank:21229]
Board Game: Monopoly
Kevin Brown
(pilight)
United States
Macon
Georgia
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I own 14 houses and 3 hotels, but I think I'll spend the night in that vacant lot owned by my arch-rival over on Ventnor.
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20. Board Game: Commands & Colors: Ancients [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:155]
Board Game: Commands & Colors: Ancients
Mark Ballinger
(thniff)
United States
Seattle
Washington
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"You guys, on the left, go attack that guy.

Now, you on the left, do it again.

Dangit! Okay, left guys, once more."
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21. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.83 Overall Rank:20979]
Board Game: Busen Memo
Kevin Brown
(pilight)
United States
Macon
Georgia
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Igor, they don't match!

--Are you sure, master?

Of course. I'm a doctor, I can tell.

--They seem fine to me, master.

Just go and get some more. I want at least 48 pair to choose from.

--Yes, master.
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22. Board Game: Candy Land [Average Rating:3.18 Overall Rank:21234]
Board Game: Candy Land
David Kahnt
(DKahnt)
United States
Youngstown
Ohio
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It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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It would suck if your kid is color blind.

"Okay son, now go to the red square. No, the red square..."
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23. Board Game: 1313 Dead End Drive [Average Rating:5.82 Overall Rank:9320]
Board Game: 1313 Dead End Drive
David Kahnt
(DKahnt)
United States
Youngstown
Ohio
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It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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...wait I might die?
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24. Board Game: Mouse Trap [Average Rating:4.12 Overall Rank:21225]
Board Game: Mouse Trap
Kevin Brown
(pilight)
United States
Macon
Georgia
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So I'm playing a mouse. You're playing a mouse. And our objective is to build a mouse trap?
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25. Board Game: Antiquity [Average Rating:7.88 Overall Rank:261]
Board Game: Antiquity
Josh Luub
(squonk)
United States
San Jose
California
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Ok, so when I find food, my famine level goes up. Excuse me? And when you find food, my famine level goes up. Say what now?
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