Game On! Game Night - April 18, 2017
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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In honor of my comedy of errors kinda night, each game will be accompanied by an idiot criminal.

About the Game On! Game Night: We meet every Tuesday night from 6:00pm to 9:00pm at Comic Book University on the southside of Indianapolis. All are welcome!
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1. Board Game: Santorini [Average Rating:7.83 Overall Rank:74]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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This game certainly has some legs, still well-loved by the masses.

John W: Win
David B: Loss
Greg: Loss

Kyle: Win
Tim T: Loss
Tim S: Loss

Mark Smith, who in 2007 broke into a house in Whitley Bay while high on Valium and vodka. Have forced his way in to the empty house the excitement obviously got too much for him, and he fell asleep in the homeowner’s empty bed. He was awoken, presumably not with a kiss, by the local police, and sentenced to 18 months.
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2. Board Game: Unlock! Escape Adventures [Average Rating:7.57 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.57 Unranked]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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Mistakes were made. I printed this out in black and white, not realizing color was so important. We would have won if it were color. Oops! Now I have to reprint the other scenario in color.

Matt/Sean/Becca: Win

First-time fraudster Charles Ray Fuller to attempt an over-ambitious withdrawal at his local bank. The 21 year old tried to cash a cheque for $360 billion in the small Fort Worth bank, claiming it had been given to him by his girlfriend’s mother. Whether it was the insane sum involved, or the improbable story of a mother-in-law’s generosity, the bank teller smelt a (very expensive) rat and called the police.
 
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3. Board Game: 7 Wonders Duel [Average Rating:8.15 Overall Rank:10]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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Another modern classic, who doesn't like a good tight two player game?

Kyle: 65
Tim: 54

How did Michael Anthony Fuller think he could get one over on Walmart? Especially when the note he was using was a $1 million bill? The foolish fraudster tried to use the note to buy a microwave and vacuum cleaner, leaving him due $999,524 in change. Walmart called the police and he was charged. Whether he and the above Charles Ray Fuller are related is unknown.
 
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4. Board Game: Pandemic: Contagion [Average Rating:6.48 Overall Rank:1569]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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Fun fact: there are 11 games in the Pandemicverse at this point!

Kyle: 58
Tim: 49
Allen: 47

Although this thief was – incredibly – never apprehended, we know his name is Trevor Jones. How? Clever profiling, DNA clues…? No, he logged into Facebook at the house he was burgling and forgot to log out. He also left his car with keys and wallet in it in the driveway, which got confiscated when the homeowner arrived home to see the front door open. And when he realised the game was up, he did what any right thinking criminal imbecile would do – he ran off and jumped into a nearby pond. Obvs.
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5. Board Game: Watson & Holmes [Average Rating:7.48 Overall Rank:841]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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What if Shelock Holmes: Consulting Detective and 221B Baker Street had a baby?

Sean: Win
Becca, Matt, Greg, David B, Janine, John W: Loss

Even robbers can be reasonable. You go to hold up a restaurant but these are busy places, right? When the owner asks you come back in an hour and do the hold-up then, you can sympathize. There’s a room full of people waiting to get fed after all. That seems to be the more than generous stance of would-be robbers Mario Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez who tried to rob a Chicago restaurant with what turned out to be a water pistol, but agreed to come back in an hour at the owner’s request. Of course when they did the police were waiting.
 
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6. Board Game: Arcane Academy [Average Rating:6.98 Overall Rank:2016]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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You're a wizard Harry! Or maybe just a guy playing a wizard in a boardgame. Oh well.

Chris: 11
Matt S: 9

Like a criminal game of Scissors, Paper, Stone, some weapons are guaranteed to trump others. So, if you were robbing somewhere like a toy shop, a baseball bat would be a pretty intimidating thing to be waving around. Less so if you wanted to rob a gun shop, however. Yes, dopey Derrick Mosley walked into Discount Gun Sales in Oregon and smashed up the display cabinet (grrr) before the owner pulled out his own pistol and put a stop to the wrong-headed raid.
 
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7. Board Game: T.I.M.E Stories: The Marcy Case [Average Rating:7.74 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.74 Unranked]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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This group did not complete this sitting. No spoilers!

Chris
Matt S
Kevin

Any ambitious robbery relies on the speed, reliability and, um, unobtrusive nature of your getaway vehicle. Which for most thieves counts out a donkey. But for three car-less felons in Juan de Acosta, Colombia, you have to make the best with what you have. The trio stole Xavi, a ten-year old donkey, before loading him up with goods stolen from a grocery store. But law-abiding Xavi, unhappy at the illegal cargo, started braying loud enough to attract the local police. He was right to be cautious – for this bit of civic duty the donkey was held for 12 hours in the police station, while the robbers made off on foot.
 
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8. Board Game: The Castles of Burgundy: The Card Game [Average Rating:7.17 Overall Rank:556]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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My #1 Light Euro in card game form! Why does it still mock me from my wall of shame?

Kyle: 31
Tim: 30
Allen: 25

What’s wrong with a pair of tights over the head as a disguise? It’s cheap, looks threatening and really does make you harder to identify. But fashion-forward felons Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller felt that the nylons were too last-season. Instead they decided to disguise themselves by drawing on their faces in marker pen. The pair were arrested in Iowa, and, presumably to give everyone else a laugh, the local police took their mugshots with the drawn-on beards and masks still intact.
 
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9. Board Game: Super Motherload [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:492]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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So here is where big mistakes were made. I hadn't played this game since Nov 2015. In this game I was absolutely killing everybody making crazy combos and getting all the achievements. At some point I ask about drawing up at the end of my turn if I have more than 4 cards...Only to find out that unlike 95% of deckbuilders, I don't get free cards. I had been drawing back up to 4 each turn giving me a huge advantage against my opponents. We decided to call it and tally points since I'm a big dummy. Everyone got a pretty good laugh at my expense.

John W: 17
David B: 14
Matt: -1 million (dirty cheater)

Had it gone right, this could actually have been the perfect crime. Can you think of a ‘weapon’ that isn’t actually a threat to anyone and that can easily be disposed of without a trace? Yes, that’s right, a banana. 17 year old John Szwalla tried to hold-up an internet café in North Carolina with this fruit-based firearm but was restrained by the owner. Making the best of a bad situation, he then ate the banana while waiting to be arrested.
 
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10. Board Game: Orléans [Average Rating:8.08 Overall Rank:27]
Matthew Hughey
United States
Indianapolis
Indiana
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What a great game besides the goofy knight on the front. Seriously, his helmet looks melted.

*Ended with 3 turns left
Greg: 100
Sean: 69
Becca: 65
Janine: 57

No one wants to go to the trouble and risk of holding up a store if there’s not even enough in the till for a post-heist milkshake. So Ontario criminal Daniel Glen wisely decided to do a recce first. Less smart was his methodology – he called the convenience store in advance and asked how much cash was in the register. The owner didn’t need to be Poirot to suspect something was up, and called police to intercept Glen on his way to the store.
 
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