Movies You Watched in December 2017
Ben Lott
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This is a geeklist to discuss the movies you watch throughout the month of December. Please feel free to post them as you see them, or if you prefer post a summary of all films at the end of the month. Also you can comment and discuss freely as others talk about films they've seen.

Enjoy...

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1. Board Game: Mr. Jack [Average Rating:7.07 Overall Rank:412]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Long Time No See


I’m completely fascinated by the painstaking work that goes into stop motion animation. But the sad truth is that I don’t love the look or feel of most movies made using it. I’d almost rather watch a behind-the-scenes or making-of video about The Nightmare Before Christmas rather than watching the movie itself. Luckily this is a very short film so it certainly doesn’t outstay its welcome. From the very beginning of this movie I feel awkward, like I’ve walked in on someone in the middle of a conversation. There is an entire world that exists here and relationships with history and all kinds of things that I’m not privy to because I’ve just joined in media res. There are moments at the end that feel unearned because they don’t take the time to introduce us to characters early on, so it’s missing the necessary groundwork to make the conclusion satisfying.

The songs are almost all forgettable. There are a couple catchy tunes, but otherwise they could have trimmed several of them. They all sound about the same anyways. Perhaps the biggest problem, that lies at the root of my dislike for The Nightmare Before Christmas, is the fact that I just don’t like this kind of humor. It’s all structured around a single “joke,” that Halloween characters love scary and disgusting things and assume everyone else does as well. There are a few select places where the humor shines through and takes an unexpected turn, but mostly it is repetitive instead of funny. I never had a great fondness for Addams Family or Munsters either, so I should see this coming. Halloween is my least favorite holiday and Christmas is my favorite, so this Halloween movie trying to masquerade as a Christmas movie is about as pleasant to me as the presents the children receive in the film.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to 12 Years a Slave
Loses to What Happened, Miss Simone?
Wins against Fright Night
Wins against Meek’s Cutoff
Loses to Creature from the Black Lagoon
Loses to Star Trek: Insurrection
Loses to Airport
Loses to Forbidden Planet
Loses to Inside Man
Wins against Yi Yi: A One and a Two
The Nightmare Before Christmas ranked 1055 out of 1305
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2. Board Game: Police Patrol [Average Rating:10.00 Unranked]
Jonan Jello
United States
Newark
California
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♫ As the masters rot on walls ♫ And the angels eat their grapes ♫ I watched Picasso Visit The Planet Of The Apes ♫
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Turkish horror movie about a police baskin ('raid' in Turkish) responding to a backup call from other officers. They stumble onto a satanic cult. The color palette of the film is quite good. Not my thing, but the gore is very high, and the narrative elliptical and loops in on itself.

Started off pleasantly creepy, but just falls to gory pieces.
It's too bad. I love that poster.
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3. Board Game: Seven Samurai Skirmish [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Paul Shabatowski
Canada
Stittsville
Ontario
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Watched Kurosawa's masterpiece Seven Samurai yesterday. Toshiro Mifune at his best.
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4. Board Game: Djinn's Game [Average Rating:6.62 Unranked]
Jonan Jello
United States
Newark
California
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♫ As the masters rot on walls ♫ And the angels eat their grapes ♫ I watched Picasso Visit The Planet Of The Apes ♫
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Under the Shadow


A suspenseful and creepy film about a mother and daughter staying in war-torn 80s Tehran when they should get out and away from the Iraqi missiles raining down upon their city.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
When one dud rocket hits their building, it seems to signal the arrival of a wind-traveling Djinn in the appropriate form of a chador that begins terrorizing the mother and daughter. There's a mother/daughter tension that echoes perhaps the mother's own relationship with her mom.


Good jump scares, symbolism, social and political message, and creepy moments with no gore or violence. Great colors. A solid film.
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5. Board Game: Dragon Racer [Average Rating:6.83 Overall Rank:5198]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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I don’t typically latch onto coming-of-age dramas, and it’s even harder when the teenager that stars in it is played by a guy who looks around 40. I’m not saying James Dean is bad in the film, and I adjusted to him after a while. But it takes a particular kind of look for an actor to pull off a high schooler when you’re 24, and James Dean doesn’t have that look, instead he appears like he could be the parent of a high schooler. One of the struggles I often find with movies like Rebel Without a Cause is that the main characters are the kind of kids who ostracized me when I was their age, and yet I’m meant to like them and care about their journey. In this case, they try to justify the behavior of the kids by showing us their messed up home lives, essentially blaming it all on the parents. This didn’t do much to redeem them for me either, but at least it was something. I didn’t totally understand why James Dean’s character was targeted instantly by the kids who antagonized him, but it escalated quickly. The shining star in this film was Sal Mineo. His connection with James Dean and Natalie Wood was unique to this story, and had some interesting nuance to it. Every time he was on screen, I was invested in this film. That climax is heart-pounding and I found myself holding my breath a number of times throughout it. The overall film didn’t rise above any other coming-of-age story for me until the final act, so I doubt I would ever watch it again.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to The Black Stallion
Wins against The Truman Show
Wins against Red Dawn
Loses to Captain Blood
Loses to Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Loses to M
Wins against Tomorrowland
Loses to The TV Set
Loses to Vertigo
Wins against The Parallax View
Rebel Without a Cause ranked 797 out of 1301
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6. Board Game: Modern Art [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:226]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Knight of Cups
(2015) =

If Tree of Life was a bit too beautiful for you, now you can experience the same terrible excuse for a film and have it look slightly less impressive. Terrence Malick is at it again, inflicting a barrage of nonsense at the audience and asking them to ascribe value and meaning to it. Undoubtedly there will be plenty of critics and other film intelligentsia who will do just that, because Knight of Cups might just be the definitive artsy-fartsy film. There is no plot, there is no story, there was no script, there are no characters, there is only the visual. And that visual is caught in short clips of random images with some whispered voiceover trying to sound deep and philosophical instead of actually saying anything. You could randomly shuffle the shots from Knight of Cups into any order you’d like and wouldn’t lose a single thing. When I’m watching something as pointless as this I find myself quickly bored and distracted, and one of the most enjoyable things to do during a Malick film is to read the plot synopsis online. I love that these people have the dedication to try and make sense out of Malick’s feces-thrown-on-canvas approach to film-making. Watching Knight of Cups eventually became a game of spot-the-celebrity for me, because I had nothing better to do than look for famous faces among the madness. It is truly remarkable the number of big names Malick draws in but I suppose there is an allure to a role where you don’t have to memorize any lines, or act, or even be lucid to participate. If I never see another Malick film, it will be too soon, but I must admit that I am amazed someone can make a train wreck look so pretty.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to The Black Stallion
Loses to What Happened, Miss Simone?
Loses to The Beguiled
Loses to La Femme Nikita
Loses to The Wraith
Loses to Daddy’s Home
Loses to Beyond the Hills
Loses to Boogie Nights
Loses to Post Mortem
Loses to Tony Manero
Wins against Koyaanisqatsi
Knight of Cups ranked 1297 out of 1302
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7. Board Game: Family Feud [Average Rating:5.44 Overall Rank:13571]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Pariah
(2011) =

Pariah reminds me a lot of Moonlight, but with actors who aren’t as good and without the interesting 3-act structure. Pariah is a coming-of-age drama about a young African-American girl who is exploring her lesbian sexuality. Naturally, her family isn’t exactly approving, so she must be secretive about it and spend time with the right people. It’s a slice-of-life style of film, but that slice isn’t the most pleasant or enjoyable. It’s a tough film to watch, because Alike’s life isn’t easy. There were a couple of scenes that impressed me, and in those moments I was almost brought to tears. So some of the emotion in the film is effective. There’s nothing bad about Pariah, but there is little that is impressive either. As a result, I kept thinking it was just OK. Considering there have been better movies made about this kind of teenage sexual discovery, I don’t know if this one does enough to set itself apart. So, I’ll just point out almost everything that happens in this film is exactly what you’d expect, so if that type of story appeals to you then I’d definitely recommend Pariah.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared
Wins against What Happened, Miss Simone?
Wins against The Parent Trap
Loses to Argo
Loses to Never Let Me Go
Wins against Agent Cody Banks
Loses to My Fair Lady
Loses to The Illusionist
Loses to My Favorite Year
Wins against Quiz Show
Pariah ranked 788 out of 1303
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8. Board Game: Pi mal Pflaumen [Average Rating:6.65 Overall Rank:1908]
Jake Blomquist
United States
Columbus
Ohio
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Pi (1998)





This was a tough one to rate. There were a lot of excellent sounds choices and some really cool shots. And the black and white was really effective, the way it could get grainier and higher contrast when things got more scattered/ambiguous worked really well.

I had some problems with the math (there were a few goofs, but that's not what I mean, those aren't actually important). Firstly, it seems a bit odd that the only way you're allowed to be good at math in a movie is if you also have some serious mental illness. I also don't really care for the way being good at math is usually shown by being good at multiplying three digit numbers or something. I get that they need an easy shorthand but really that one's just incredibly silly. I remember seeing a TED talk where the guy seemingly just multiplied big numbers together for 15 minutes. The problem is that a lot of people think that this is what math is. This isn't super relevant to the movie, it's just a pet peeve.

Beyond this point everything I say is arguably a vague spoiler for the movie, if you want to go in completely blind that is. So if you want you can just skip right to the last paragraph.

But anyway, those aren't really a big deal. Especially since this movie isn't really about math, it's about obsession. At some point they have the main character's mentor call out his behavior, so I thought it was going to be a movie critical of the main character, and exploring how obsessed he'd become. But then I started getting the feeling that it was validating his obsession. But actually on further reflection I'm not sure it does, since really we're only getting the validation from other parties that might be equally misguided, and it's not even clear to what degree what we're seeing on screen is exactly what's happening in the "real world" of the movie. A lot of things seem heightened in a way that someone paranoid and obsessive might view what are actually more normal interactions.

If I thought this movie were actually about the 216 digit number that holds all of the secrets to the universe and is at the heart of the "patters" in both the stock market and the digits of pi then I'd think it was a fairly stupid movie. Though full disclosure I don't go in so hard on the whole "math is the language of reality" thing as some people seem to. But again, it's not really about that, it's about the characters and the way that this belief about the world and their obsession with finding meaning and order in everything is ruining their lives. And from that angle I think it's really interesting.

Admittedly it is a bit slow at times, but overall I think it's a really interesting look at a compelling (in a bad/sad way) character and it has a lot of great cinematography and sound design.
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9. Board Game: Vampire: Dark Influences [Average Rating:5.37 Overall Rank:14254]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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New to Me


I’m typically a big-time hater of incoherent films, so Valerie and Her Week of Wonders had an uphill battle to avoid being one of my least favorite movies of all time. This is a nonsensical film when you look at it with the idea of a traditional story structure. But there is some story here, and it has an engaging fairy tale style to it. By blending the oddness of fairy tales and some supernatural horror, somehow I was able to at least tolerate the strangeness of it all. There’s something so close to a plot in Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, and I long for that to take over, but it never quite happens. There seems to be a fair amount of symbolism to this film, as it explores Valerie’s blossoming sexuality, and also her familial relationships. I’m not a big fan of symbolism either, so it’s as if the movie is working against my best efforts to like it. It has a magical and enchanting quality that I want to love, but it doesn’t save Valerie and Her Week of Wonders for me. I can definitely see why some people will love it, though. It is beautifully shot, and I quite like Jaroslava Schallerová in the lead role, so it is a tolerable 77 minutes even for someone like me.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to 12 Years a Slave
Loses to What Happened, Miss Simone?
Loses to The Beguiled
Wins against La Femme Nikita
Wins against Driving Miss Daisy
Loses to From Hell
Loses to Wilson
Wins against The Bad Seed
Loses to The Wedding Planner
Valerie and Her Week of Wonders ranked 1172 out of 1304
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10. Board Game: Shoot Out [Average Rating:5.26 Overall Rank:13819]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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New to Me


There is something fascinating about snipers. The patience and skill that is required to remain still and line up your targets carefully is so impressive. That makes Enemy at the Gates something I latched onto quickly, because it’s all about a young Russian sniper who becomes the hero of a nation. One complaint I had with this movie was that, once they introduce Ed Harris as a rival German sniper, there were significantly less scenes of snipers working and taking out targets. Instead it was just a back and forth watching and waiting to see who would catch up with his opponent first. But even worse was the love triangle between Jude Law, Joseph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz. It was completely forced and a pointless distraction. These plot elements were a struggle, but they didn’t ruin the overall experience. I couldn’t even breathe in some scenes because the tension was palpable. So it gets the most important aspect of storytelling right. I imagine some people would be extremely annoyed by the fact that all the Russians and Germans are speaking English and mostly with British accents, but it never bothered me in the slightest. It was a bit odd at first, but once I adjusted to it, I never noticed the choice any more. Also, don’t come to Enemy at the Gates for historical accuracy, because I doubt it has much of that even though it’s about actual people. I would probably recommend Enemy at the Gates to others (and just warn about the stupid romance,) because there’s plenty of great things going on in the movie to make up for the flaws, especially if you like sniper stories.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Wins against As Good As It Gets
Loses to Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
WIns against The Great Escape
Wins against Taken
Wins against Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension
Loses to The Apartment
Loses to Snowpiercer
Wins against G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Loses to All About Eve
Enemy at the Gates ranked 360 out of 1306
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11. Board Game: Sorcerer [Average Rating:5.44 Overall Rank:13776]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Topsy-Turvy
(1999) =

Topsy-Turvy is a movie that takes some time in order to acclimate yourself to its style. It builds slowly and has a great deal of subtlety to the humor. Once I was adjusted to how it was telling the story, I finally found myself enjoying it. Most of the humor comes from Jim Broadbent’s performance, because he was so matter-of-fact even though what he said was often ironic or some kind of pun. It certainly helps that I am a big fan of Gilbert & Sullivan’s work. The regular musical breaks were so much fun, and I loved seeing the behind-the-scenes build-up to the big show. The amount of setup that they include before Gilbert even gets the idea for The Mikado is definitely excessive, though. For awhile I wondered if the movie was ever going to progress, or if it was just a slice-of-life look at these two historical figures not working well together. I have full confidence that when I return to Topsy-Turvy and watch it again, I will have a much more positive reaction to it. The end was much stronger for me, but a big part of that was because I had come to understand what Mike Leigh was doing. The cast of the film is littered with a lot of British character actors who you might not know immediately, but their faces will be familiar. I liked many aspects of Topsy-Turvy and I anxiously anticipate the day I’m able to sit down and watch it again, so I can finally “get” it. However, I wonder if (even then) it will manage to be any better than simply watching an actual Gilbert & Sullivan musical.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Wins against Paths of Glory
Loses to Despicable Me
Wins against Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Loses to Sunshine
Loses to Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Loses to Predator
Loses to The World Is Not Enough
Loses to Robin Hood
Wins against Rocky
Loses to Kill Bill Vol. 2
Topsy-Turvy ranked 486 out of 1308
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12. Board Game: Say My Name [Average Rating:7.52 Unranked]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Lady Bird
(2017) =

Lady Bird fits in the mold of the prototypical coming-of-age story. The title character (played by Saoirse Ronan) deals with disconnect from her family, difficulty fitting in at school, and romantic relationship struggles. Despite being a very simple story, it is well told. There is some humor sprinkled throughout, and that definitely makes it a more enjoyable film for me. Lady Bird spoke to me in some emotional ways, and I appreciate that. I wasn’t quite brought to tears, but there was certainly potential for them in this story. There aren’t big twists and turns in this plot, it’s not shockingly different from other movies in the same genre, and there are moments when I was just frustrated with the characters. They made an effort to distinctly place this movie in a particular time (early 2000s). I’m not sure why they felt it was so important to keep emphasizing that in news reports, but it added nothing to the film. The best I can guess is that this was mildly autobiographical for Greta Gerwig, and she went through similar events in that time period. Lady Bird is a pleasant film that I certainly didn’t dislike, but it also did little to impress me.

Perhaps the biggest surprise in relation to Lady Bird is the fact that this film has received so much critical praise. I see it as a quality film, but it can’t live up to the expectations set by the ads that proclaim it the “best reviewed movie of all time.” There’s already talk of multiple Oscar nominations for this film, and I can’t fathom what sets this movie apart from the countless coming-of-age movies that have come before. I think it’s important that viewers go in expecting an extraordinarily simple and basic movie. I imagine most people will like Lady Bird at least as much as I do, as long as they don’t go in expecting it to be earth-shattering.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Wins against 12 Years a Slave
Loses to Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Loses to Inside Out
Wins against Reservoir Dogs
Wins against Jerry Maguire
Loses to Real Steel
Loses to The ‘Burbs
Wins against Modern Times
Loses to Hellboy
Loses to The Verdict
Lady Bird ranked 523 out of 1307
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13. Board Game: Pirates of the Spanish Main [Average Rating:6.02 Overall Rank:3329] [Average Rating:6.02 Unranked]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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The Sea Hawk
(1940) =

Errol Flynn is a ridiculously charming protagonist, and any of these swashbuckling adventures that he stars in are instantly going to be a treat. One of the problems with The Sea Hawk, though, is that it is frontloaded with one of the most impressive fight sequences I’ve seen. The big ships colliding, the leaping and swinging around from one ship to the next, and the sword-fighting is all remarkable. I can’t imagine the amount of effort that went into that one sequence. While there are a few enjoyable fights after this one, none of them are quite as awe-inspiring. The Sea Hawk is a story that I thought I was going to be able to predict after the first few scenes. It seemed pretty obvious which way things were going, but it was nice to see that they were able to surprise me. The sequence in Central America was unexpected, and I love that they used some different filters on the black-and-white image to make it look distinct from everything else. There were probably a few too many scenes of people just talking about their plans, which I feel could have been trimmed down, but the action was exciting enough to make it worth the wait. I am glad I’ve seen The Sea Hawk, but it’s not one of the best in a genre that contains some of my favorite films.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Wins against Ride the High Country
Loses to (500) Days of Summer
Wins against Kill Bill Vol. 2
Wins against Zero Dark Thirty
Loses to Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Wins against Renaissance Man
Loses to Moulin Rouge
Loses to The Hurt Locker
Loses to The Castle
Loses to Frozen
Wins against The Goodbye Girl
The Sea Hawk ranked 385 out of 1309
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14. Board Game: Sinai [Average Rating:6.14 Overall Rank:6797]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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The Ten Commandments is a massive biblical epic that feels a lot like all the other big historical epics I’ve seen. It is all about giant sets, elaborate costumes, and over-the-top acting. It is certainly impressive to look at, but it lacks a lot when it comes to telling a concise story. They are so intent on showing the whole scope of things, shoving in as many of the familiar moments from the Bible, that they don’t have any focus or thematic goal. It becomes extremely episodic, and that gets old in a movie this long. The effects are horrible, but they were probably impressive at the time. It’s just a shame to watch it on higher definition devices now and see just how shoddy these green screen and animated effects look, especially compared to anything we get now. I like many of the actors in The Ten Commandments, but I’m often annoyed by people talking with a faked dialect that tries to make it sound like they’re quoting King James. It accentuates the melodrama that already exists in these situations to an awkward extreme. As someone who has read these books of the Bible many times, of course I’m happy to see them captured in a massive-budget Hollywood film. I simply wish I was more engaged by the events and actually felt that the thematic message of this film matched the message of the book of Exodus. My enjoyment of The Ten Commandments was roughly the same as watching a historical reenactment, I got the story but not much else out of it. Perhaps people not as familiar with the story would find their 4 hours better spent than I did.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to Ride the High Country
Loses to The Ox-Bow Incident
Wins against Justice League
Loses to Inside Man
Loses to Cleopatra
Wins against How the West Was Won
Wins against The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
Wins against An Unmarried Woman
Loses to Village of the Damned
The Ten Commandments ranked 1106 out of 1310
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15. Board Game: Night Shift [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Jonan Jello
United States
Newark
California
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My third Netflix Online horror film this month.

Last Shift


The lead character is a rookie cop with her very first shift overlooking a closing-down police station on its last night of operation. The station has had its tragic moment involving a Manson-esqu cult family and it's for good reason the department is closing doors on this building.

The scares are pretty good, but when they're of the variety that do nothing to harm the character, they quickly lose their threat potential. Overall, there is enough good moments here to have kept my interest.


The ending is
Spoiler (click to reveal)
bleak and I was quite surprised with the literal title of the film.

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16. Board Game: Hack Trick [Average Rating:6.64 Overall Rank:3357]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo three and a half years after watching the Fincher remake was an odd experience. It almost felt like a rewatch, because they both have the exact same narrative running through them. I liked it a fair amount more this time, because I was in on the solution of the mystery. That’s perhaps one of the biggest struggles with the story in this movie, you are just along for the ride as these two characters explain each revelation to you. It would be nice to at least have the illusion that I could have pieced together what happened on my own, but I don’t think that’s possible here. Noomi Rapace is a stronger actress than Rooney Mara which is a big plus for this original version. I felt the power and the underlying vulnerability of Lisbeth when Rapace was playing her, while Mara is too flat. Michael Nyqvist might not be quite on par with Daniel Craig, but I don’t think he is bad at all. The film is rather long, and not in the ways that I would typically expect or want from a murder mystery. There isn’t a whole lot of scenes where the detectives question suspects, in fact the suspects don’t get much screentime. Instead this is an investigation about paperwork and pictures. That can get tedious if you’re not invested in solving the puzzle. I find myself just engaged enough to avoid being bored, but I’ll probably never seek out opportunities to watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo again, because the graphic and extreme nature of many of the things that happen in the movie are hard to watch and make it a tough one to revisit.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Wins against Ride the High Country
Loses to Die Hard with a Vengeance
Loses to Robin Hood
Loses to Hidden Figures
Wins against The Skeleton Twins
Loses to Arrival
Loses to The Look of Silence
Loses to Little Sister
Loses to A View to a Kill
Loses to Babette’s Feast
Loses to Man Up
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ranked 612 out of 1311
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17. Board Game: Lock 'n Load: Forgotten Heroes – Vietnam [Average Rating:7.41 Overall Rank:2369] [Average Rating:7.41 Unranked]
Martijn Broeren
Netherlands
Nijmegen
Gelderland
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I was curious about this movie because it's one of the more "recent" Vietnam movies so I wanted to see if it brought anything new to the table that the classic movies did not.

The movie opens with a French patrol in Vietnam in 1954, the final year of the First Indochina war. The French patrol is overrun by the Viet Minh forces and the commander order to "kill all they send, and they will stop coming". We fast forward 11 years when the United States is fighting the Vietnam War. Lieutenant Colonel Hal Moore (Mel Gibson) arrives with his family and is very dedicated to training his troops in preparation to be sent to battle. He will be leading a newly created air cavalry unit (flying troops and supplies in with helicopters) into the Ia Drang Valley. Moore only has 395 men at his disposal and soon learn that the enemy has much more men. Vastly outnumbered, will the astounding leadership qualities and stubborn determination of Moore be enough to survive the coming onslaught?

Overall I enjoyed this movie, but not tremendously. The war action was very good, the acting and portrayal of the characters was decent and at times it gave me the feeling of being in the heat of the battle. But it started really slow, the first 40 minutes were not very interesting and although it did setup some story arcs, overall it could be much shorter or be made more exciting. In my opinion they tried to hard with focusing on the families of the soldiers. I understand that they wanted to show how the women left behind would react to the bad news but it didn't work for me, I think they should have stayed with the battle the whole movie.

And where most classic Vietnam movies focus on the insanity of war and the dehumanization, this movie sometimes looks like a commercial to join the army. There were a bit to many "I'm glad I died for my country" moments and it lacked emotional torment of the characters. On the other hand they did a fine job showing the Vietnam troops as real people and not as nameless monsters.

Overall it is a decent movie but it doesn't do anything new and doesn't hold a candle to the classic Vietnam movies like Apocalypse Now, Platoon and Full Metal Jacket.
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18. Board Game: Box of Rocks [Average Rating:6.41 Overall Rank:6605]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Certain Women
(2016) =

I have to hand it to Kelly Reichardt, she’s consistent. This is the 3rd film from her that I’ve seen, and it is just as boring as her others. Her minimalist style seems to be focused on telling as little story as possible. In this case she barely tells 3 short stories. It starts out strong and actually has potential to grab my interest, but every moment where Certain Women has the potential to become more engaging it makes the opposite choice and becomes more boring. The second short story is where the movie completely falls asleep. I cannot fathom why this was even a story that had any purpose at all. Then the third story is only marginally better than that. At least there was some character motivation and I found a tiny bit of interest in the third story, even if it was full of pointless moments. The sad thing is that the movie looks great, and the actors all seem capable. It’s a lot of wasted potential when you have decent components and then don’t do anything with them. I thought Certain Women was a shoe-in to be better than Reichardt’s other films, because it is separated into smaller chunks. But when there’s even less time to tell a story, and it still feels like nothing happens, it makes that frustrating flaw too glaring to ignore. I wouldn’t say that her films are bad, they simply end up feeling dull, and that can often be worse.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to John Wick
Loses to What Happened, Miss Simone?
Loses to Justice League
Wins against The Royal Tenenbaums
Loses to Planes: Fire & Rescue
Loses to Ghostbusters
Loses to To Catch a Thief
Loses to Nothing But A Man
Loses to Knowing
Wins against Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Certain Women ranked 1224 out of 1312
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19. Board Game: Paddington Bear's Suitcase Scramble Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Andy
United Kingdom
Manchester
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Paddington 2

I had the chance to take my two boys (7 & 5) to see the Paddington sequel, and we all had a really good time... even the youngest, who is often resistant to watching movies, stuck it out to the end, and said he enjoyed it.

This quintessentially British movie about a lovable and slightly naive bear living in London is another really heart-warming and emotional tale, packed with humour.. The whole audience laughed out loud throughout the movie, and I had filled up a few times by the end as well.

The cast are incredible, especially Hugh Grant who does an amazing job with his part as the ageing actor, Phoenix Buchanan, as well as the best of British supporting cast including Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters, Jim Broadbent, Tom Conti, Brendan Gleeson, Peter Capaldi.. and a host of others.

The plot is, of course, rather far fetched, but it is fun, and charming, with a lovely message about seeing the good in people, which is how Paddington manages to befriend people in the most difficult of circumstances.

It has some remarkable and quirky action sequences too.. reminiscent of the Wallace and Gromit movies.

Currently 100% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and with a 8.9/10 critic rating, which I'd say it definitely deserves, I highly recommend checking out Paddington 2.. It's not essential to have seen the first movie, but wouldn't hurt.
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20. Board Game: Bank Account [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Wendell
United States
Yellow Springs
Ohio
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THE ACCOUNTANT

This is a heart-warming tale of how an autistic child can grow up to be an accomplished accountant (Ben Affleck). Albeit an accountant with an unusually high body-count.

Interesting movie. Some of the usual unbelievable (as in, not literally credible) violence, but it kept my attention and had some plot twists. Also, JK Simmons always a plus, here as a Treasury agent.

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21. Board Game: Wyoming Cowboy [Average Rating:4.67 Unranked]
Shaun Morris
United States
New Jersey
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Longmire


I'm cheating a bit here since this is a TV show but I just finished the series on Netflix.

I just started this about 2-3 weeks ago from Season 1. It's not a bad show. It's a police procedural that takes place in modern day Wyoming. It requires a fair amount of suspension of disbelief considering the show takes place in rural Wyoming and there are a total of 27 murders over the course of the show. There's enough that they actually address it in a throw away line somewhere around Season 2 I believe. Not to mention multiple conspiracies and the Irish mob. In spite of its many flaws though, the characters are compelling and well-rounded. By the end of the series I actually found myself liking one of the primary antagonists. My biggest complaints are with the final episode, which I will address in the "spoilers" below.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
NOTE: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

For the most part I think the final episode wraps things up pretty nicely. I only have 3 complaints. 1) Henry taking over the casino for Nighthorse makes sense given how their relationship developed over the course of the last 3 seasons. Unfortunately, I think they rushed it a bit. But this is a pretty minor complaint. 2) I didn't like that they put Walt and Vic together. It felt contrived and cliché. 3) Walt's retirement makes perfect sense, but his daughter Cady stepping into the role does not. She has no police experience. At no point in the show does she act as a cop or even a P.I. Her qualifications are that she's an attorney and has a good sense for right and wrong. Throw on top of her lack of qualifications that she's dating one of the deputies and her being sheriff makes even less sense. Overall I thought it was a decent finale but I think the show runners forgot to develop a replacement for Walt because while Cady makes no sense as sheriff, there really wasn't anyone else they could have written into the role where it would make sense.
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22. Board Game: Old Town Robbery [Average Rating:5.56 Unranked]
Shaun Morris
United States
New Jersey
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El Camino Christmas




A Netflix Original Christmas movie. I'm not normally a fan of Christmas movies but this one had Tim Allen and I'll generally given anything with Tim Allen a try (call me nostalgic but I grew up on Home Improvement). Besides, this didn't look like the typical Christmas movie.

Anyhow the movie centers around Eric Norris who comes to the small town of El Camino where a couple of inept and possibly corrupt deputies railroad him for drug trafficking which turns into an unintended hostage situation. Advertised as a comedy it turned out to be more of a dramedy, which isn't a bad thing. A fairly formulaic and predictable flick but entertaining nonetheless. It's no Oscar contender but it was well acted and worth the watch.
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23. Board Game: Killer [Average Rating:6.14 Overall Rank:7278]
Shaun Morris
United States
New Jersey
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The Killer




My dad raised my on John Wayne and Clint Eastwood so I'm a bit of a sucker for Westerns. This Brazilian movie however, did not live up to my modest expectations.

The movie follows Cabeleira, a hit man residing in the badland )Pernambuco State) of 1940's(?) Brazil. He originally goes to town looking for Seven Ears, the man who raised him, but ends up working for a ruthless French land baron.

The whole thing was just a little too theatrical for me as the characters are so exaggerated that they border on parody. The plot also kind of meanders with an ending that is both predictable and unsatisfactory. Engaging enough that I sat through the whole thing, but after doing so I wish I hadn't.
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24. Board Game: Salvation [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Shaun Morris
United States
New Jersey
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The Salvation




As I said, I'm a sucker for Westerns. I originally started this movie a couple years ago with my dad but he was unwilling to give it a chance as the first 5-10 minutes of the movie is almost exclusively in Dutch and he hates reading subtitles. I then completely forgot about it until it popped up on Netflix last night and I decided to give it a second try and I'm glad I did.

Centered on Jon Jensen, a Dutch immigrant and former soldier who after seven years of trying to make a living in the American West has finally scratched enough together that he decides to bring his wife and child to live with him and his brother on their homestead.

Beyond that I don't really want to say anything to spoil the movie. Suffice it to say, I feel like this movie is best viewed knowing almost nothing about it. Just be warned, it's a fairly brutal film.

As a bonus it stars Mads Mikkelsen, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Eva Green.
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25. Board Game: Measure Up! [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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This movie is like 90 minutes straight of two men having a penis-measuring contest. That kind of thing is hard enough to watch in person, but I certainly don’t want to sit through it on film. There isn’t really logic to how people behave in Knife in the Water, and the blandness of all the things they do is hard to watch. When it got to the point of watching three grown-ups playing a game of Pick-Up-Sticks I was about ready to throw in the towel. Then a few things happen in the climax that almost approach real drama, but it simply does nothing for me. I was so zoned out and bored at that point I was ready for it all to end. The performances match the blandness of the story, and add nothing of interest for me. I was not invested in the relationships between these people who all seem to barely tolerate each other, and the movie depends on you caring about them at least to some degree. Even as an exploration of how men measure their masculinity and maturity, Knife in the Water failed for me because the characters were drawn so poorly they didn’t seem like a proper representation of actual human behavior. I would not recommend this movie to anyone.

Ranking on my Flickchart
Loses to John Wick
Loses to What Happened, Miss Simone?
Loses to The NeverEnding Story
Loses to The Royal Tenenbaums
Loses to The Wraith
Wins against Valley Girl
Loses to Identity Thief
Loses to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Loses to Quarantine
Loses to Mannequin 2: On the Move
Loses to Daddy’s Home
Knife in the Water ranked 1288 out of 1313
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