My favorite "Dwightisms"
Carol Jones
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Maryland
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One of my favorite TV shows is "The Office", mostly because of the wonderful quotes from one Dwight Schrute. So this geeklist is a tribute to all my favorite lines from the show.

Please add your favorites to the list as well.

Carol
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1. Board Game: Battle Cry [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:615]
Carol Jones
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Maryland
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Dwight: "I never let anyone walk behind me, 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear."
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2. Board Game: Stoner Fluxx [Average Rating:5.65 Overall Rank:10378]
Carol Jones
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Maryland
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Dwight: "I've seen this kid before. He's one of the kids that sneaks into my farm and steals my hemp."

Pizza Delivery Kid: "Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed."
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3. Board Game: Canal Mania [Average Rating:6.91 Overall Rank:1379]
Carol Jones
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Maryland
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Dwight: Michael? Michael. Come here, come here, come here. Listen up everyone! It is 11:23 exactly. The exact moment when you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal.

(From Season 2, Episode 19: "Michael's Birthday")
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4. Board Game: The Werewolves of Miller's Hollow [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:733]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it and then you have to tame it. Keep it happy, care for it, feed it. Lovingly. The way that an animal deserves to be loved. My animal deserves a lot of loving."
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5. Board Game: Twilight Imperium (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.90 Overall Rank:47]
Carol Jones
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I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
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6. Board Game: En Garde [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1873]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "The Eyes are the groin of the head."
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7. Board Game: Fury of Dracula (second edition) [Average Rating:7.17 Overall Rank:397]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn't hear the other dead people."
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8. Board Game: Hare & Tortoise [Average Rating:6.65 Overall Rank:1072]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose--and a panther."
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9. Board Game: Car Wars [Average Rating:6.34 Overall Rank:2066]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight."
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10. Board Game: Outdoor Survival [Average Rating:4.64 Overall Rank:15289]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: Question, is there firewood on the island?

Jim: I guess.

Dwight: Then I would bring an axe, no books.

Jim: It has to be a book Dwight.

Dwight: Fine. Physician's Desk Reference?

Jim: Nice. Smart.

Dwight: hollowed out. Inside: Waterproof matches, iodine tables, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question, did my shoes come off in the plane crash?
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11. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.80 Overall Rank:15120]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: Tit for tit.

Jim: That's not the expression.

Dwight: Well it should be.

(The best geeklists always have this game in it)
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12. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:17]
David Kahnt
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Youngstown
Ohio
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It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...
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Dwight:"When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."

Hilarious...

-DK
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13. Board Game: Grave Danger [Average Rating:4.30 Unranked]
David Kahnt
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Dwight:"The Shrutes have their own traditions. We usually marry standing in our own graves. Makes the funerals very romantic, but the weddings are a bleak affair."

-DK
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14. Board Game: Official Skins Golf Game [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
Colin Lewis
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Dwight: (speaking about skin cancer) "The fact that your own skin can turn against you makes me rethink having it all together."

(Sorry, couldn't find a better game)
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15. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:17]
Aaron Tubb
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NC
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Dwight: Agri-tourism is a lot more than a bed-and-breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.
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16. Board Game: Alley Cat [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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Angela: What is that?

Dwight: It’s a feral barn cat. I trapped him last night and I’m giving him to you as a replacement cat for the one I destroyed.

Angela: Her name was Sprinkles…

Dwight: And his name is Garbage. Mose calls him Garbage because he likes to eat garbage.

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17. Board Game: Mercy! The Hospital Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Aaron Tubb
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Dwight: As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we’re using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical?

(Said after visiting his co-worker Meredith in the hospital)
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18. Board Game: Kids Rule! [Average Rating:4.67 Unranked]
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Dwight: Hello tiny one!

Toby: Come on [shepherds his child quickly past Dwight]

Dwight: You are the future!

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19. Board Game: Healthy Habits [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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Jim: You work here, don't you want good insurance?

Dwight: Don't need it. Never been sick. Perfect immune system.

Jim: Ok, well if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.

Dwight: I don't need them. Superior genes. I'm a Schrute...and superior brain-power. Through concentration I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?

Dwight: So I can lower it.
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20. Board Game: Give Us A Job [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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Dwight (on the phone): So you got the fax. So why didn’t you add it to the resume? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant. Oh excuse me! I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ. Uh, yeah I get a little frustrated when I’m dealing with incompetence. Well you know what? You can go to hell too, and I’ll see you there, burning! Fine…oh wait, so you’ll let me know when you’ve made a decision?
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21. Board Game: Buried Treasure [Average Rating:6.01 Overall Rank:6319]
Carol Jones
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Dwight is wearing a tuxedo

Pam: It's a nice tux.
Dwight Schrute: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so... family heirloom.
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22. Board Game: Combat Cards [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same... except I could fly."


Dwight: "Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn't have points or scores. It doesn't have winners or losers."

Jim: "Oh, it has losers."
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23. Board Game: Power Grid [Average Rating:7.91 Overall Rank:28]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "As of this morning, we are completely wireless here on Schrute Farms. So as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we can have power back on."
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24. Board Game: 24 Trading Card Game [Average Rating:6.31 Unranked]
Carol Jones
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Dwight: "Once I'm officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified."
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25. Board Game: Vampire Hunter [Average Rating:5.17 Overall Rank:15038]
Carol Jones
United States
Maryland
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Dwight: "I don't have much experience with vampires. I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time i got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog."
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