How to get your wife to play Wargames
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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Yes, my wife will play wargames with me.

Yes, my wife hates Axis and Allies.

Yes, my wife likes make-up, kids, shopping, clothing, and romantic movies.

Yes, my wife hates "gross-stuff", wargames, horror movies, and shopping at electronics and game stores.

At least that's what she claims.

My wife is a blue blonde eyed lass, who was the hottest girl I ever met, and somehow wooed her to marry me.

I have NO idea what she saw in me, as I was not the Captain of the Football team, though I played sports. I guess I just got lucky. Or maybe...just maybe...it's not what they say...not what it looks like, but all in the presentation.

Which is why even you, yes you, who has a perfect wife who hates all guy activities, and loves all things girly, can get your wife to play wargames too.
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1. Board Game: Conquest of the Empire [Average Rating:6.75 Overall Rank:1133]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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LIE...

That's right...Lie.

We played this as a two player game. I told her it was a build up your empire and expansion game...

We lived in peace for several turns...then I unlocked her vicious side when I blocked the straits with my ships...

and then...she readied her forces for a full on assault in a massive wave of death in Palestine...and War hath no fury like a woman
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2. Board Game: War of the Ring (First Edition) [Average Rating:7.79 Overall Rank:82]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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CHEAT

Hey dear, I heard that you wanted to watch some good old fashioned fantasy tonight...well I'm all for that. Promise that you'll watch whatever I pick...

700 PM rolls around

Well dear, here it is...what? you wanted a movie? B...b...But this is as good as fantasy gets! You can either watch as you want, but I think you'll have more fun playing.

Yes...yes, dear...hobbits are cute little creatures...you can play them...

30 minutes later after secretly rolling loaded dice

Hah...that's what happens to hobbits when my Ringwraiths discover them...I turn them evil and corrupt them...

What...you want to play again...but this time you get to play Sauron?

5 hours later

You've been trouncing me for hours, why don't you just go ahead and TAKE Helms' Deep...WHAT! You just like torturing me...you like to see me squirm! You think this is you're favorite game!? But you're just playing to torment me, keeping me from winning at the gates of Mordor, whilst you just barely stop from winning EVERY TURN!

Hey...are those my dice you're using?
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3. Board Game: A House Divided [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:945]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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STEAL

Yes dear, you'll never guess where our wonderful budget was spent on...

Yes, this wonderful game...

What? What do you mean what am I doing spending your budget? I thought it was my budget too...

Okay...well how about a game...er I mean...seeing that you now possess a nice new game...how about it...

Oh...your sooo ready to kick my...okay...we'll play...

3 hours later

YOU talk about me going overboard, I think you've taken all my chits! And they say you can't change history...next time I get to play as the South.

What do you mean what next time...hey...where are you going with that...you know I didn't literally mean it was your game...hey...come back here!!!
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4. Board Game: Blackmail [Average Rating:2.80 Unranked]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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Posting a picture more on topic...

BLACKMAIL

Okay dear...you know, I understand that you want me on my best behavior when your parents come to town this weekend...but really, it's the Georgia Bulldogs playing Hawaii...and you just know Hawaii is going to get crushed...How do you expect me to be good during that?

Well, I suppose I could be pursuaded...how about...uhmmm...4 games of Risk later on...with the winner getting the Risque of their choice?

Deal?

What...you have a headache?
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5. Board Game: Assert with Love [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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Hey dear, you know I love you a LOT!

I washed the dishes, cleaned the house, took care of the kids...and you know what I want to do this evening...

EWWWW...Nooo....not that...

I want to play a WARGAME!
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6. Board Game: Twilight Imperium (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.90 Overall Rank:47]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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Use other interests they have

"Hey dear,"

You know how you like to play the computer game Master of Orion? Well have I got the game for you...
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7. Board Game: Struggle of Empires [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:329]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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Convince them that they WANT to play this game...

Dear,

I can see that you enjoy that entire 16th through 19th century thing. All those men in nice suits romancing all those ladies...doing jobs like trading, politics, being gentlemen, dueling...

Have I got the game for you...

And what do you know later...she gets that wargaming face of concentration and I know all the floodgates of war are about to breakforth as she decides that this ISN'T a romance game about men romancing ladies and trading and politics...and goes to war instead...and oh what a war...
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8. Board Game: Axis & Allies [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:1185]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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GUILT

I know you want to spend time with your brother. He's coming over to play Axis and Allies with me, along with your father and your younger brother. Don't you want to spend time with family?

2 hours later?

Yes, I know you're spending time with your family...but Japan is supposed to be ON MY SIDE...not fighting alongside the allies against Germany!
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9. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.58 Overall Rank:14516]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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After using the above mentioned ideas, hopefully she'll actually enjoy one and play it again...afterall if you never try, you'll never suceed.

Go ahead take a risk, the worst she can do is go to war with you
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10. Board Game: Bing Crosby's Game: Call Me Lucky [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Sean Shaw
United States
Idaho
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But the most important thing...

Is to get lucky enough to marry a hot woman, that actually LIKES to play games...and if you're even luckier...who actually likes to play wargames...so you don't have to do any of the above anyways...

My wife started playing Talisman, loved it, and then started playing all sorts of other games that I bought...until at last she also plays wargames...

So now...

Yes, my wife will even occasionally play wargames...and even enjoys it.

So if you get lucky

She'll love you, she'll love the games...and...

she'll still kick your...
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11. Board Game: The Baby-Sitters Club Game [Average Rating:5.42 Unranked]
Tim Stellmach
United States
Arlington
Massachusetts
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You forgot the most important part (at least, until the kids are old enough to entertain themselves...)
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