Withering Ripostes: Verbal Strategy for use in Everyday Gaming Scenarios
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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If you play games in pubs or taverns; or play in work-breaks, you've likely had a big fat jerk approach, smirk on jowled face, saying:

"What type of silly game is that?"

"What are you doing? Games are for kids."

"I bet you were in a Chess club at school."

"Are you playing with goblins again?"
(This happened to me this xmas!)

"We only play games - like Trivial Pursuit - at xmas."

"Why are you wasting your time on that?"


If you have - and I bet some of you have - then feel free to roast them with one of the following.


Please feel free to add your own.

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Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
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Mark Chaplin
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Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
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Mark Chaplin
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Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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And which dwarf are you?



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Mark Chaplin
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Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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People like you don't grow on trees. They swing from them...



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Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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You got in the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching...



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6. Board Game: Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers: It's A Raid! [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
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7. Board Game: Valley Of The Four Winds [Average Rating:5.84 Overall Rank:10219]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Does your head whistle in a cross wind?
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8. Board Game: Ticket to Ride: Switzerland [Average Rating:7.52 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.52 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.52 Unranked]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
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There's a train leaving in 10 minutes. Be under it....



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Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Looks like somebody forgot to pay their brain bill...
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10. Board Game: The Stupid Game [Average Rating:1.50 Unranked]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Do you need a licence to be that stupid?
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Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Now I know why some animals eat their young...
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12. Board Game: Personality Game [Average Rating:6.25 Unranked]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
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Sorry, I was just trying to imagine you with a personality...
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13. Board Game: Wits & Wagers [Average Rating:6.97 Overall Rank:500]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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I refuse to enter a battle of wits with you - it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person...
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14. Board Game: Good Heavens! [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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You won't make it into Heaven - because if you did, it would be Hell...
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15. Board Game: Alien [Average Rating:5.38 Overall Rank:13099]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Earth is full. Go home.
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16. Board Game: Hive [Average Rating:7.32 Overall Rank:205]
Mark Chaplin
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Ice-choked tower, Mondavia, Nanglangka.
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Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch the game pieces?
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17. Board Game: Beat the Parents [Average Rating:4.58 Overall Rank:14981]
Tim Thorp
United States
Granite Falls
Washington
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"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? "
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Aren't you the Poster Child for Planned Parenthood?
 
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