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Welcome to Geeksterdome! Prepare to be amazed as the board game bits you know and love battle to the death. If you have small children or persons of a sensitive nature in your party, you may want to leave the arena now. Once the matches begin, no one will be allowed to leave. Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS GEEKSTERDOME!!!



If anyone needs to add any late additions to tonight's lineup, feel free to do so.
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1. Board Game: Number One [Average Rating:7.12 Unranked]
Charles Rayburn
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Match #1:

Garbage from Power Grid vs. Corn from Puerto Rico

In this corner, a yellow, barrel shaped bit.

In this corner, a yellow, barrel shaped bit.

Let's Get it On!!!!

Commentator:
The bell rings and both bits are just sitting there. Since they have no legs or arms, it will be interesting to see who will emerge victorious. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I think Garbage is making a move! I believe I saw something. No, no, my mistake.

Two hours later

Both bits are still just sitting in one spot. I believe this match has devolved into a battle of wills. If someone doesn't do something soon, this match will be called a draw. This has set a bad precedent for other Euros hoping get a match here in Geeksterdome! Let's face it, liitle wooden bits just aren't cut out for battle. The match has been called.

Result: Draw
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2. Board Game: Take Two! [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Charles Rayburn
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Match #2:

The Robber from Settlers in Catan vs. Twonky from RoboRally

In this corner a black clad thief.

In this corner a lazer wielding robot.

Let's Get it On!!!

Commentator:

There's the bell. The Robber is just standing there rolling two dice, but Twonky is moving three spaces across the arena floor. Watch it with that lazer, Twonky. The Robber just continues rolling dice. Here comes Twonky again; wait a minute, he's turning right. Where is he going? The Robber has just rolled a seven. Suddenly he magically transports right to Twonky. He asks Twonky for some brick, but Twonky just keeps turning in circles. Now Twonky is aiming directly at the Robber. Owww! That had to hurt!


The Winner: Twonky by lazer blast
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3. Board Game: Three For All! [Average Rating:6.35 Overall Rank:9572]
Charles Rayburn
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Match #3:

The Incredible Hulk from Attacktix vs. Mimring from Heroscape

In this corner, a really mad, green superhero.

In this corner, a fire breathing dragon.

Let's get it on!!!


Commentator:
There's the bell. It looks like the Hulk is carrying a barrel. I thought foreign objects were illegal, but I assume no one is going to tell the Hulk to put it down. The Hulk makes a super leap over Mimring and lands behind him. It looks like he is going to throw the barrell. Uh, oh, that was a pretty weak attempt. Hulk just slammed the barrell straight into the ground. Mimring is turning back around. This doesn't look good for Hulk. OOOhhhhh! Mimring just bit the Hulk's arm off. He's spitting it out. It must have left a bad taste in his mouth. Hulk is still fighting. He's trying to the pick up the barrel again. Well, he was trying to pick up the barrel; Mimring just blasted him with flaming breath. I can feel the heat all the way up here. The good news is that the flames did stop the bleeding from the Hulk's shoulder. The bad news is that the Hulk is cooked like a green filet mignon.

Winner: Mimring by amputation and roasting
 
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4. Board Game: Gang of Four [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:1513]
Charles Rayburn
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Match #4:

A camel from Through the Desert vs. a meeple from Carcassonne.


In this corner, a pastel colored beast of burden.

In this corner, a vague representation of a human lacking a distinct gender.


Let's get it on!!!

Commentator:
There's the bell. The camel is slowly lumbering across the arena while the meeple is consulting a rule book. He looks to the referee for assistance. What's he doing? Meanwhile, the camel is still slowly heading for meeple. Wait a minute! The referee is throwing a flag on the meeple! It's a violation of the farmer rule. I can't believe it. I haven't seen that penalty called in a long time. The meeple is furious. He's stomping his little meeple nubs on the arena floor. He better get his mind back on the match or he's going to be in trouble. Uh oh, the camel has kicked him to the ground and is now stomping his head. I guess that would be his head. Anyway, it doesn't look good for the meeple. Now the camel is sitting on him and spitting on him. It's the old spit and sit submission move. The meeple is in agony. That's it!! That's it!! The meeple has submitted. Chalk one up for the dromedary.

Winner: Camel by Spit and Sit Submission maneuver
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5. Board Game: 5 Alive [Average Rating:5.45 Overall Rank:13341]
Charles Rayburn
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Match #5:


The shoe from Monopoly vs. the rope from Clue

In this corner, a shoe.

In this corner, a rope.

Let's get it on!!!


There's the bell and the shoe comes flying out of the corner looking for action. The rope is just lying in the corner. The shoes stops in the middle of the arena and looks suspiciously at the rope. He thinks it may be some kind of trick. Wait a minute! What's that noise? The shoe is turning around confused by the sudden rise in the noise level. The crowd is booing him. That's right! This arena full of board game geeks is letting the shoe have it. Oh, this is an ugly scene. I knew there was a lot of antipathy toward Monopoly, but it's just not the shoe's fault. These fans should be ashamed. The shoe is just sitting in the arena, visibly shaken by this sudden turn of events. Just a second! He's moving again. He's heading for the rope. Maybe he has some fight left in him, but in all honesty, it looks like his spirit is broken. He's picking up the rope, but the rope is still motionless. What's he doing? He throwing the rope over a low beam beneath the ceiling. Now he's making his way up the wall. Oh my God! The horror! The horror! The shoe has just hung himself right here in the arena. I can not believe what I am watching!

Winner: Rope by way of the shoe's suicide
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