Demetri Martin. Person.
Nathan Morse
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Demetri Martin. Person. Comedian. Demetri Martin is casually hilarious. His style is vaguely in the same end of the spectrum as Steven Wright and the late Mitch Hedberg, but he has his own take, and some odd innovations, such as personally hand-drawn visual aids for his jokes, or having a family member make a stage appearance.

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1. Board Game: Around the World in 80 Days with Michael Palin [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Nathan Morse
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First, some general traits of Demetri. He is masterful with palidromes, as well illustrated by his 25-line poem, "Dammit I'm Mad", which you can see at demetrimartin.com, in the Other section, Poetry.
 
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2. Board Game: Mental Disorder [Average Rating:4.71 Unranked]
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Much of his humor seems to come to him stream-of-conscience, from random musings and mental exercises. He has a brilliant explanation of this, though, in "The Land Where My Jokes Come From", which was the closer for his Comedy Central Presents performance.
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3. Board Game: Hell for Leather [Average Rating:6.75 Unranked]
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“I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.” [Then Demetri reveals a page on his giant pad that says, "I own leather sleeves."]
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4. Board Game: Sorts [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:10394]
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“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of - it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, ‘sort of’ means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’ or ‘It’s a boy.’”
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5. Board Game: According to "Professor" Hoyle... Pocket Trivia [Average Rating:4.24 Unranked]
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“I was in a store and I saw a pocket dictionary and that made me laugh because it’s such…a specific item. I don’t know that many words and I’m going out…and I have pants. Perfect!”
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6. Board Game: Bananagrams [Average Rating:6.34 Overall Rank:1544] [Average Rating:6.34 Unranked]
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“I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this thing? ‘Cause I’m like ‘Bana … keep going. Bananana … damn.’”
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7. Board Game: Basket of Fruit [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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“I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. [Demetri shows a giant drawing of a hand having just pulled two apples out of the mailbox] Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the hell is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!.’”
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8. Board Game: Maya & Miguel Piñata Party Card Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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“I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the piñata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey with some pizzazz. Let’s kick its ass. What I’m trying to say is, don’t make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did.”
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9. Board Game: Sorry! [Average Rating:4.50 Overall Rank:15311]
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“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.”
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10. Board Game: Flint & Steel [Average Rating:6.94 Unranked]
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“They say that you can tell man apart from other animals by his ability to reason. I think you could also go by last names. What’s his name? Patches? Patches what? That’s a dog. Don’t waste my time.”
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11. Board Game: Heart Attack [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Especially if your teammates are bad guessers.”
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12. Board Game: Cactus Throne: The Mexican War of 1862-1867 [Average Rating:5.80 Overall Rank:11934]
Nathan Morse
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“About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed because I was like ‘Damn! I am less nurturing than a desert.’” [Demetri reveals "Ladies, that’s not true" on his giant drawing pad]

Demetri details the birth of this joke in this brief article.
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13. Board Game: Four Scores [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
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“I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’”
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14. Board Game: The Bottle Imp [Average Rating:6.75 Overall Rank:1087]
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“I like the beach. I like to get there really early before everyone else shows up and take like thirty bottles with notes in them and throw them into the water. Then I wait for everyone to come to the beach and when someone goes to pick up one of the bottles, I go up behind them because when they open it there’s a note saying ‘I’m standing right behind you.’”
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15. Board Game: World Cup [Average Rating:3.76 Unranked]
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“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.”
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16. Board Game: Football Fever [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
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“I like sports; I like professional football. I like to get to the stadium and see the games live, you know. And I paint my chest before I leave the house. But I don’t have many friends, you know, so I usually just do punctuation and tack on a group already in progress. But sometimes it works out kind of weird because we ended up on TV one time and it said ‘JETS?’”
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17. Board Game: Out on a Limb [Average Rating:3.51 Unranked]
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out letters.
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18. Board Game: Clip-on [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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I think it would be cool, if you were writing a ransom note in Microsoft Word, and it popped up, the paperclip and said, “It looks like you’re writing a ransom note… need some help? You should curse more.” The paperclip would be all messed up, you know? I never saw a paperclip with tattoos before.
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19. Board Game: Color Guard [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like “What’s your favorite color?” A quick way to end a conversation is to say something like “What’s your favorite color…person?”
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20. Board Game: Murder à la carte: Burritos & Bandidos [Average Rating:6.50 Unranked]
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My friend had a burrito. The next day he said, “That burrito did not agree with me.” I was like, “Was the disagreement over whether or not you’d have diarrhea? Let me guess who won.” “I tried to reason with it, I insisted, you know. I was like, ‘I wanna go outside, I like these pants, but the burrito had his way.’”
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21. Board Game: Kids Rule! [Average Rating:4.67 Unranked]
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I heard this lady say “I love kids.” That’s nice, a little weird though. It’s like saying “I like people, for a little while.”
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22. Board Game: Surf's Up, Dude! [Average Rating:5.51 Overall Rank:12648]
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“I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word ‘dude.’ ‘Dude, these are isotopes.’ ‘Dude, we removed your kidney. You’re gonna be fine.’ ‘Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.’”
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23. Board Game: Employee of the Month [Average Rating:5.20 Overall Rank:14478]
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“Employee of the month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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24. Board Game: The Big Breakfast Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Nathan Morse
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I use this product called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” Because sometimes when I’m having toast I like to be incredulous. “How was breakfast?” “Unbelievable”
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25. Board Game: Bumper to Bumper: Real Life Stock Car Racing [Average Rating:5.67 Unranked]
Nathan Morse
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A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
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