Games I Would Make....If I Wasn't So Lazy
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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This morning while all of you suckers (read: productive members of society) were traveling to work/school I was TRYING to sleep in. I say trying because something was bothering me. I had come to a realization that lots of board game themes suck. Period. Most of those that don't are overused ("Ooh, another game about WWII, neat!") Now, I figured that since I'm basically the most creative/awesome 19 year old on the planet, I will tell you about the great themes and games I would make... if I weren't so lazy. This list is for everybody who never wants to crawl through another dungeon or build another city/monument for (insert ancient civilization here). So without further ado, I will begin my list.

Further ado: Incidentally, if you do know of any good games with the themes that I mention, do tell the rest of us. Also, feel free to add your own themes, but only if they qualify as ridiculously cool.
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1. Board Game: The Legend of Robin Hood [Average Rating:6.20 Overall Rank:4410]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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This is the theme that gave me the idea for this geeklist. There are actually a bunch of games about Robin Hood out there, but, at least according to the BGG, they mostly suck. Now, after watching the BBC remake of Robin Hood (by the way, if you haven't seen it, stop reading and go watch it right now!) I'm convinced that the Prince of Thieves deserves better. My brilliant game would be something like Fury of Dracula, only with even teams, and in reverse (as in, bad guys looking for the good guys). Or, even use the "follow the trail" mechanic on both sides, the Sheriff tries to figure out where Robin Hood is, Robin tries to figure out what evil the Sheriff is plotting next. If it had the actual license from the BBC show, then that would be all the better.
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2. Board Game: SPANC: Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls [Average Rating:5.30 Overall Rank:14953]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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There are lots of games about pirates. And lots of games about space. But how many games out there are about space pirates? The closest thing I've ever seen to this was a crappy variant I once made up for Starfarers of Catan. This game would get bonus points if the ships looked cool. And, for even more bonus points, put it in Joss Whedon's Firefly universe. Then, it's a space pirate western.
 
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3. Board Game: How to Host a Murder: An Affair to Dismember [Average Rating:7.18 Unranked]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Okay, don't laugh too hard when you read my next idea: Veronica Mars. Now, I know that a game based on a canceled show that sounds suspiciously like a rip off of Nancy Drew might sound like a bad idea. You may think I'm just asking for a crappy spinoff that would tarnish the memory of the greatest show ever. But think about it, the things that made Veronica Mars so awesome were the intricate, detailed mysteries and the clever character interactions. Stick those in a How to Host a Murder style game and it could be complete genius! Besides, all you would need to do is put a picture of Kristen Bell on the box and people would buy it, regardless of what was inside. Heck, I would buy at least five copies. I dunno, maybe this is the worst idea on the list, but I would play, and so would my friends (whether they wanted to or not...)
 
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4. Board Game: The American Revolution [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Fact: There are 4 1/2 bajillion war games. Of these war games, 98% are about World War 2. The remaining 2% are about really obscure battles nobody's ever heard of. C'mon Americans, where's the love for our founding fathers? When I typed Revolution and Independence in the BGG search I didn't see very many games that were about the war for our freedom. So.. somebody go make a few! (Note, I would have thought this was a pretty boring idea for a game, but then I started watching HBO's John Adams. History can be interesting, yay!)
 
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5. Board Game: Primordial Soup [Average Rating:6.96 Overall Rank:678]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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For those of you who don't know, the greatest Super Nintendo game ever was called EVO:Search for Eden. In it, you start out as a fish. You go around eating things until you can evolve. Then you get better jaws, then legs, then longer legs, etc. Eventually you end up as either a human or a bird. Why am I bringing up my childhood memories of the best video game ever? Because it would make a killer boardgame. Now, I realize that there are games about evolution, but seriously, amoebas? What if I want a two-headed fire breathing tiger? Or an amphibian monkey with a scorpion tail? The game I'm envisioning would be straight up Ameritrash. Lots of plastic pieces that you can stick together however you want. Think a cross between Legos, and the dragon/demon from Descent. Then the monsters you've evolved go around and eat each other. You eat your friends, you get more points to evolve, you make your monster meaner, and you eat your friends again.
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6. Board Game: Big Damn Robots [Average Rating:6.67 Unranked]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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And while we're at it, lets see a game like that with robots. I mean, I like Roborally as much as the next guy. But we all know that robots weren't created to race around, they were created to kill each other! A little side note, I really miss the Power Rangers Shogun Megazord I had when I was a kid. That thing would beat the crap outta any other toy out there.
 
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7. Board Game: Coolympics [Average Rating:4.79 Unranked]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Three words: Olympics Dexterity Game. It would probably be ridiculously expensive, but it would be completely worth it. Lots of different events that involve flicking, stacking, and smacking. You could play just a single event for a quick filler, or lots of events to see who's the true champion of the world. And of course, it would have to called Coolympics.
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8. Board Game: BrewMaster: The Craft Beer Game [Average Rating:5.72 Overall Rank:10564]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Okay, now the Eurogamer crowd is probably feeling a little left out here, since most of my ideas have been geared towards Ameritrash. But fear not! Just because a theme is thin as paper does not mean that it has to suck! My first example of a theme that could work with basically any Euro is the Prohibition. Who wants to spend their resources building a monument to some dopey king, when they could use the same game system to fight the 18th Amendment? Build a successful speakeasy to get customers, then convert customers into alcoholics (this game's version of victory points.)
 
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9. Board Game: Mafia [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:12346]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Here's one of my pet peeves that has little to do with this list: Werewolf. You know, the party game where you try to lynch the murderous beast. When I was a kid (which was not too long ago compared to most of you...) that game was supposed to be played with a mafia theme. The only two roles you need are the Detective and the Mafia, anything else can be made up. And seriously, who's gonna go out and buy cards for that? /endrant. Now, on to my next great theme for a Eurogame. I envision this one as more of a Euro/Wargame hybrid. Do you spend your money on your casinos? Would you rather hire more thugs? Should you spend your resources on the protection racket? Or do you go after the opposing mob boss?
 
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10. Board Game: Capn Crunch Island Adventure Game [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Here's a great idea! Re-theme Agricola as a game about a bunch of people stranded on an island! No, they're not settlers of anything, these people are fighting for their lives against the elements. Heck, make two island games, one as the re-theming of Agricola, and another as a more wargamey Lord of the Flies type thing. There would be volcanoes, hunting, trying to get rescued, and a volleyball named Wilson! As an added bonus, the poop-shoveling jokes would be replaced by jokes about the black smoke monster!
 
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11. Board Game: Dungeon Twister [Average Rating:6.84 Overall Rank:762]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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Now, here's a great idea. It'll work for both Ameritrashers and Eurolovers. Building dungeons! We've all ventured through them quite enough, but how about a game where we construct them? You start out as a relatively small, insignificant evil overlord and only the weakest heroes venture into your lair. But as you kill them and take their money you can hire more monsters and research better traps. As bigger and badder heroes start coming around, you gain more and more glory points for killing them (I'm completely against calling anything "victory points"). If I were really crazy I would use the rules for Descent and have people try to beat each others dungeons as a sort of minigame.
 
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12. Board Game: Spy Web [Average Rating:6.09 Overall Rank:8087]
Tom Nielsen
United States
Utah
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If dungeons aren't your thing, another re-theme of my previous game could be spies and supervillians. You build up your island lair while Bond type characters try to infiltrate it. Take over the world to win. In fact, spies or supervillians would make a great theme for all kinds of games. (Quick side not, Spy Web rocks. It's great for teaching logic to kids.)
 
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13. Board Game: Dungeons & Dragons Fantastic Locations: Fane of the Drow [Average Rating:7.12 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.12 Unranked]
Stephen Sekela
United States
Camp Lejeune
North Carolina
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I have often thought about trying to create a boardgame based off of Salvatore's "Dark Elf Trilogy", specifically, a game about MENZOBERRANZAN. In this game, the various houses (players) would plot and scheme to emerge as the ruling house in the city via assasinations, winning the favor of Lloth (by having thier females attain "high-priestess" status, offering sacrifices, etc), and of course the occassional (yet clandestine) battle with an opposing house.

I envision this game being something along the lines of the Conquest of the Empire (CotE II rules) - being more about politics, influence, and wealth, with a little combat thrown in. But, it would still have to have top-notch artwork on the board and cards, and lots of cool bits...

Maybe someday I'll get around to it...
 
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14. Board Game: Dragonlance [Average Rating:5.34 Overall Rank:14477]
Zack Stockdale
United States
Auburn
Washington
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I had an idea of a game based off of Naomi Novik's Temeraire books http://www.temeraire.org/. There are a lot of aerial combat involving dragons at different hieghts and distances, and I figured a lot of the mechanics for the Dragonlance game would work well. As well, in the books combat occurs on dragon back, think boarding on navel vessels except in the air. I need to find a good game with rules like that for ideas. I think there is a lot of potential for the game, the world is rich, lots of types of dragons doing different things, I could even add effects from ships/troops/fortifications involved in the aerial battle above.

Anyway, I'm a teacher so its going to be my summer project in a couple months. I'm fairly excited about giving it a shot.
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