If Game Designers Wrote the Laws
Bruce Baskir
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Missouri
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Who is it who writes the rules that govern our lives? Lawyers!!! No offense to those members of the legal profession out there, but laws are not written to be easily understood. They are cumbersome, abstruse, loaded with jargon, and largely incomprehensible to the general population.

But there is one group that specializes in writing rules that are easily understood and concise. I'm talking, of course, about game designers. Which leads to the question - what would society be like if the laws were written by game designers?
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1. Board Game Designer: Richard Garfield
Bruce Baskir
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Missouri
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The use of addictive substances would not only be tolerated, but would be encouraged.
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2. Board Game Designer: James Ernest
Bruce Baskir
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Manufacturing would consist of providing instructions on assembling the desired item out of components that the consumer already has on hand.
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3. Board Game Designer: Andreas Seyfarth
Bruce Baskir
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Missouri
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Workers would be forced to change careers every year with first choice of career rotating through the work force.
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4. Board Game Designer: Uwe Rosenberg
Bruce Baskir
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Retailers would be able to barter any item in stock with consumers, but would only be able to sell the item closest to the door.
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5. Board Game Designer: Reiner Knizia
Bruce Baskir
United States
Missouri
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Your scholastic average would equal your grade in your worst subject.
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6. Board Game Designer: Sid Sackson
Bruce Baskir
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The tax code would be simplified to fit on a single sheet of paper - but would still provide plenty of opportunity for creative financing.
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7. Board Game Designer: Jim Dunnigan
Bruce Baskir
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5.3) Pedestrian movement - A pedestrian unit may only enter a road on a crosswalk hex (see Terrain Chart 8.4)
5.31) A pedestrian unit must expend two movement points looking both ways before entering a road hex.
5.32) A pedestrian unit less than eight years old may only enter a road hex when stacked with an adult unit.
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8. Board Game Designer: Alan R. Moon
Bruce Baskir
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By law, getting there would be half the fun.

Conductor, when you receive a fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,
A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

-Samuel Clemens
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9. Board Game Designer: Gary Gygax
Bruce Baskir
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Before the Inspired One ascended to heaven, he gave but one law:

Thou shalt use thy imagination.

The Apocrypha, however, fills volumes.
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10. Board Game Designer: Friedemann Friese
Olivier Lamontagne
Canada
Montreal
Quebec
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Every law must begin with the letter " F"
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11. Board Game Designer: (Uncredited)
Ben Lott
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Mason
Michigan
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You wouldn't know who to blame for the laws you really hate.
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12. Board Game Designer: Richard Borg
Tom Grant
United States
Washington
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During debates in the House of Representatives, the Speaker and the Minority Leader alternate playing cards. For example:

Probe Left: A Member of Congress may muse about the Framers' intentions behind the Second Amendment for 5 minutes.

Attack Right: A Member may filibuster against any anti-flag burning legislation.

Barrage: Several Members appearing on TV news shows can pound the airwaves with the same talking points.

Ambush: A Member can launch an unexpected ad hominem attack on another Member, based on scandalous photos taken in the Democratic or Republican cloakroom.
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13. Board Game Designer: Andrew Looney
Ben Lott
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Mason
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January = You can only do one thing every day.

February = You can do 2 things per day.

March = You can do 2 things per day but you're only allowed to own 4 items.

April = You can do as many things as you are able per day, but are still only allowed to own 4 items.

May = You can only do one thing per day again and you can only own 2 items.

June = You can do one thing per day and are allowed as many items as you want.

July = All you need is Love.
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14. Board Game Designer: Christophe Boelinger
Olivier Lamontagne
Canada
Montreal
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Laws could be rotated either clockwise or counter-clockwise, changing completely their meaning.

MekaLawyers could turn the laws in any direction they want. devil
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15. Board Game Designer: Francis Tresham
Darrell Hanning
United States
Jacksonville
Florida
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We will meet at the Hour of Scampering.
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Conflict in the Middle East would be resolved by shoving an excess number of people into the region, and seeing who starves first.

Come to think of it, that isn't far from the truth, under some regimes in Africa...
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16. Board Game Designer: Klaus Teuber
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United States
Jacksonville
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No, one thing in the world shall be worth more than three of any other thing in the world.
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17. Board Game Designer: Dean Essig
Peter Vrabel
United Kingdom
Cambridge
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There would be only a few sets of laws. But each set would have to cover a lot of different situations.
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18. Board Game Designer: Dirk Henn
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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In Charge of United Gaming Nations.

All military conflict will be decided by placing troops into a giant tower along with a few members of the local populace.

Military members may choose to hang out in the tower or relase themselves from the slats of the tower to join a random fight.

Only two conflicts are allowed per country/region per year.

All neutral soldiers will be placed in the cup unharmed and not subject to torture, according to the Wallenstein-Shogun Accord Article:8 Section 12.

All Governments will be responsible for providing enough grain to their populace per year or revolts will occur. Forget election year anger, Wallace means a people's revolt!
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19. Board Game Designer: Stefan Feld
Mike E
United States
Poulsbo
Washington
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Young interns will see you first but can only help one person. More experienced doctors can help two people but must see you last. Of course, some HMOs may already have this rule.
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20. Board Game Designer: Dirk Henn
Todd N.
United States
Medford
Oregon
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The good part:

Congressmen and Representatives no longer vote on bills and laws. They are all assigned a color and are then thrown inside a gigantic 30 story tall cube tower. The surviving winners get to decide what to do. The
President and Vice President have to clear the dead out of the giant tray to help tally the results.

The bad:

The tax code changes with the government only allowed to do 10 things per season. Taxes are now collected once per season; with the general public only knowing when they will get taxed if it is one of the first five things on the government's agenda. If it isn't; then they will just let you know when it gets here.
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21. Board Game Designer: Emiliano Sciarra
Alain Baum
Luxembourg
Grevenmacher
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* You can't fire a gun on a person that is more than 10 feet away... unless you challenge him/her to a duel.

* Traffic signs with more complicated regulations only show an inscription: "Check the traffic law book."

* Police officers may break the law, since they can't be imprisoned.

* Hospitals are replaced by bars.
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22. Board Game Publisher: Doris & Frank
United Kingdom
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The hedgehog is boss.

There must always be the same number of people on the left as on the right, give or take one or two.

If you don't want to starve you must eat three other people's - oh, maybe not.
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23. Board Game Designer: Lidwien Steenbrink
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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Public nudity laws would be thrown out the window.
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24. Board Game Designer: Michael Schacht
Bruce Baskir
United States
Missouri
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Anyone owning more than three collections will be penalized.
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25. Board Game Publisher: Fantasy Flight Games
JT Smythe
Australia
Sydney
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All Lawyers and Judges would be replaced by decks of random legal actions. Everyone would be convinced that the system was indeed alive and could think and plot just like real lawyers.

"Defence deck draws objection on admissability of evidence"
"Prosecution deck draws counter argument concerning the public good"
"Judge deck draws....Sustained, remove 2 clue tokens from the prosecution physical evidence pile"
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