The Malicious Meeple Tours the Game Shelf
Eric Clark
United States
Holyoke
Massachusetts
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A pointless and distressing narrative inspired by "The Beastly Baby" by Edward Gorey, with the last two lines being almost direct lifts.

Disclaimer the first: It is obvious that I'm not much of a photographer.

Disclaimer the second: It is even more obvious that I don't have delicate sensibilities. If you do, I urge you not to read any further, and to be content with reading some other GeekList about the order somebody just placed through Thoughthammer (or something equally exciting).
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1. Board Game: Miscellaneous Game Accessory [Average Rating:6.96 Overall Rank:3758] [Average Rating:6.96 Overall Rank:71]
Eric Clark
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There once was a meeple who had an intense appetite for spite and malice. He was a bright sunshine yellow in coulour, which contrasted sharply with his abhorrent personality.

One day, he ventured forth from his corner of the shelf to wreak havoc among the other games and their inhabitants.
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2. Board Game: Railways of the World [Average Rating:7.69 Overall Rank:97] [Average Rating:7.69 Unranked]
Eric Clark
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When he traveled by land, he took great pleasure in diverting railroad tracks so that the trains would fall off of cliffs, or into large bodies of water.
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3. Board Game: Serenissima (first edition) [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:1100]
Eric Clark
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When he traveled by sea, he would casually jettison his fellow passengers, and sometimes cargo, for the sake of additional elbow room.
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4. Board Game: Sunken City [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:3330]
Eric Clark
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On his tour of an ancient city rapidly sinking into the watery depths, he mocked and taunted those who were in danger of drowning. He did nothing to assist them, although it was well within his power to do so.
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5. Board Game: Vino [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:2703]
Eric Clark
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Back on terra firma, his carousing became nothing short of legendary. He consumed vast amounts of alcohol; enough to cause a more conscientious meeple to be ashamed of itself for a very long time.
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6. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:16]
Eric Clark
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He exhibited a shocking propensity for cruelty to animals. Passive livestock received the worst of his attentions, for they were docile in nature and he disliked a struggle.
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7. Board Game: Conquest of the Empire [Average Rating:6.75 Overall Rank:1132]
Eric Clark
United States
Holyoke
Massachusetts
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On a battlefield upon which many brave men had given up the ghost long ago, he found an abandoned catapult and an abundance of puppies and kittens. He addressed both issues simultaneously.
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8. Board Game: Roads & Boats [Average Rating:7.74 Overall Rank:271]
Eric Clark
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Massachusetts
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Even when he could not bring animals to direct harm, he made their lives exceedingly inconvenient. His refusal to vacate an otherwise empty pasture resulted in awkward relations and population shortages amongst donkeys and geese.
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9. Board Game: Notre Dame [Average Rating:7.38 Overall Rank:216]
Eric Clark
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He displayed no reverence whatsoever for historical landmarks, littering and making lewd remarks to passersby. There were scenes.
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10. Board Game: Mystery of the Abbey [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:1075]
Eric Clark
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During Mass, he devoured communion wafers as if they were popcorn or some similar snack, belching afterward, and took the Saviour's name in vain. The monks had taken vows which forbade them to commit any act of violence upon him, though they were sorely tempted to break them.
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11. Board Game: Antiquity [Average Rating:7.89 Overall Rank:218]
Eric Clark
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Upon leaving the chapel, he skipped merrily through the cemetery, trampling flowers as he went. Nearby mourners were aghast.
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12. Board Game: Pandemic [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:73]
Eric Clark
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His bacteria spread rapidly throughout South and Central America, killing thousands. Rather than expressing remorse, he loudly complained about the smell.
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13. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.06 Overall Rank:15]
Eric Clark
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He told racist jokes and made insensitive comments about the plight of those who had been sold into slavery. He did this only when the people he was discussing were out of earshot or otherwise unable to strike him, which in this case would have been perfectly justified.
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14. Board Game: Shogun [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:128]
Eric Clark
United States
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A tower filled with army cubes presented an opportunity for more mischief. Knowing that it had not been constructed to accomodate his bulk, he blithely jumped into it and created a blockage which was most uncomfortable for its other occupants.
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15. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.79 Overall Rank:54]
Eric Clark
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He perched atop another tower with the intention of pushing hapless caballeros into it, not realizing that he had been lured into a devious trap.

The tower's owner had had quite enough of his boorish and indefensible behaviour, and decided to take matters into his own hands.
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16. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.79 Overall Rank:54]
Eric Clark
United States
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There was a wet sort of explosion, audible for several provinces.
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17. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.79 Overall Rank:54]
Eric Clark
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And that -- thank heavens! -- was the end of the Malicious Meeple.
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