You Animeeple Lovers and Agricola Pimpers just don't get it!
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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I can hardly contain my rage at those who continue to bastardize the game of Agricola by clamoring for animeeples, putting farming stickers on their family member disks, or worse yet, making FIMO farmers. The creators of Agricola commited a grave error by deciding to paste a ridiculous farming theme to the beautiful underlying mechanics that truly define the game. If you need to have the simple beauty of a cube be replaced by crude representations of domesticated beasts, you sir, have no business playing agricola. I might add that cubes are much more practical, because in the unlikely event that you accidentally "tip one over", it still looks exactly the same, and you don't get distracted by thinking that one of your "animals" has fallen ill when it's on its side. Those of you with feeble minds who need to have a human representation of a farmer will never understand that a family member disk is simply a unit that allows you to move different units from one part of the table to another. If you are one of these so-called "Agricola players" who enjoy imagining that a family member has learned the art of craft brewing and is now a Master Brewer ready to exchange fermented beverages for food, I say to you leave my gaming table immediately!
Agricola can be much improved upon by replacing the silly drawings and text on the cards with a series of icons and symbols to represent the card's actions much like Race for the Galaxy. (Which, I might add would be a magnificent game were it not for the "space" theme and distracting artwork on the cards. I must also mention that there is no need to depict a symbol of a "hand" to denote that one keeps a card; any abstract symbol would be preferable) In fact, if it was up to me, I would do away with the whole farming theme and just call the game "-cola" That way, all the people who don't "get it" would be weeded out, and those of us of sound mind would play unfettered by the unshaven mass of heathens needing to contaminate the game with their vile impulses.
I hope to live long enough to see a future in which a game like Heroscape has its "warriors" and "monsters" replaced by simple cubes with different abstract symbols to represent units of varying strengths and abilities. Only when a game is stripped down to its core essence can children appreciate the underlying beauty of what a game truly is: A complex series of rules involving interactions between objects within a mutually agreed upon framework. My five year old daughter certainly appreciates games now that I have created a much improved version of Chutes and Ladders which I have renamed "Forwards and Backwards" In this game I have built a board consisting of row of squares with numbers on the top. Instead of clumsily spinning the cardboard "spinner", I have her press the button on my computer which has a random number generator application running. She then moves her cube the appropriate number of spaces along the row of numbers. If the space she moves to has a number on the center, she simply moves to that number. First one to the last space wins the game! No need to be distracted by "ladders" or "slides" Her enjoyment of the game is especially apparent when I try to get her younger sister to play "Please don't make her play daddy!! I'll play with you!" Kids really are precious! (I have made some extra sets for the holiday season. Please let me know if you would like to purchase a set for your young children).
But to return to the topic at hand, I strongly urge you to join me in asking the makers of Agricola to have the farming theme eliminated in the new edition. Thank you for your support.
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"L'état, c'est moi."
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I'm happy they left it theme-less. Agricola should learn from it!
 
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