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Animal Control
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this was written a while back but just got around to posting it.devil

Title: Thursdays
September 15, 2008
by Animal Control


So it got to be on Thursday nights
When grown men gather to earn their rights
To slug it out on table tops
With big guns and bountiful crops

Like in Puerto Rico or Cash N Guns
We’ll short your crop and steal your funds
When the cargo ship leaves without your sugar
When the card says "Bang" as you flip it over

And there were canoes a-floating down stream
As stricken paddlers pray and scream
For the gripping currents of Niagara Falls
Push them overboard, jewels and all

I like Ra as much as Niagara
With pharaohs and floods in land afar
Without civs, points you do lose
Invoking Ra may just be what you don’t choose

In Thebes your goal is to dig for precious relics
But Ed as usual was up to his old tricks
To be crowned Sir Hoover, time and again
Playing this game again, he so must refrain

A new fun game (I heard) was Zombie Fluxx
But played I never did, that really sucks
Because Sam decided to kill it dead
So he could play something else instead

In the game of Shogun Teong he rules
Made Sam, Brian and Jim look like fools
His yellow army lorded the worlds
Them other players just cried like girls

Among the games was good ole Dust
Damn thing now just sits and rusts
All because of one mech-dropper
That sent everything straight to the crapper

There are some games that are just plain long
Rules after rules, are they part of a song?
To play this game I may just need a PhD
I’m surprised I didn’t have to pay a learning fee

Easy and simple, that’s good for me
Like the quick fun game of Lunch Money
With a pipe, or a knife, or Hail Mary
Mean and wicked, those girls are scary

The Game of Thrones should be just like its name
To be thrown overboard and never seen again
For the neighbors are feuding in the South, East and West
When the slacker up North did nothing but rest

A fun one is that ole Incan Gold
Adventurous fools in a tunnel dark and cold
In for the long haul you just might get screwed
A test for the strong hearted, or the shrewd

There were bugs galore in Nexus Ops
Where many-legged creatures mount castle tops
To spit fire at each other, to kill and maul
Pretty interesting game, not bad at all

Maharaja means the "King of all kings"
Where we played till the fat lady sings
Teong came out clear winner of the lot
Poor bastards, they ain’t got a shot

Cutthroat Caverns most recently played
The goal of the game was most monsters slayed
Where a-thumping was given but not by all
Zero-damage cards indeed, what gall!

In villages of some make-believe land
Zombies roam in a big rotten band
Last Night on Earth the heroes will get
If the objectives of the game was not thoroughly met

Thousands of games in all shape and size
Not all of them fun, that I surmise
Short and sweet ones, nothing wrong with them
Except they don’t sit well with our brother Sam

Big long rules confuse the shit out of Tan
Who only has a short attention span
And then there was Jim, who would play anything
As long as the game is not asking him to sing

Let’s not forget Ed who finally won a few
Now he can quit saying "Oh, but I am new"
And Phillips whom everyone wants to thump
Oh well, what do you do really? With a chump

I guess we still play games, big and small alike
When someone doesn’t like it, well, take a hike
But now that baby Phillips is coming to town
It may be a while before the next round
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