Serial Cheater
Kevin H
Canada
Windsor
Ontario
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Have you ever met a serial cheater? Someone that will cheat at any game, at every opportunity?

I have such a friend. I guess I don't confront him about it because it's that much more satisfying to beat him in spite of his transgressions. Or maybe I'm just a coward.

Here's a pointless list of games he's cheated at in my presence.
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1. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.39 Overall Rank:15319]
Kevin H
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Ah Monopoly...i.e. cheater's paradise. There is of course the rolling of the dice while you're not looking: "Sweet, I'll buy Boardwalk". The doubling up ploy: "Whoops forgot to take my $200 for passing Go". And of course, what kind of Monopoly cheater isn't the banker? Is there a draft in here? Strange how those $500's keep blowing onto your cash pile. And if you catch him? "Whoops I got confused." Beware the confused banker...beware...
 
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2. Board Game: Yahtzee [Average Rating:5.29 Overall Rank:15220]
Kevin H
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Go ahead...leave the room to answer the phone or door, relieve bodily fluids, or get some snacks. When you do, you will invariably hear an exclamation of "YAHTZEE!!!"

Time and time again this runs through my head: "Was that your fourth roll? Or your fifth?"

Oh, and he can't score his card with a pen...he needs a pencil. With a big fat eraser...
 
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3. Board Game: Trivial Pursuit: Genus IV [Average Rating:5.51 Overall Rank:14214]
Kevin H
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One time, it was a close game, we were both attempting to win the game by landing on the centre and answering all the questions on a card. I had to leave the room. When I was coming down the stairs I heard frantic movement and the squeak of springs. I entered and saw him lying on the couch...when I left he was on a chair at the other end of the room. Hmm...

With a guilty yawn, he casually announced that he had rolled and landed on the centre by exact count while I was gone. So I picked up the first card from the box, and put it in the "discard" at the back, and read him the second card. His face turned beet red.

Oh and he lost too!
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4. Board Game: Scrabble [Average Rating:6.29 Overall Rank:1504]
Kevin H
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Peeking at tiles as he takes them out of the bag...
 
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5. Board Game: Scattergories [Average Rating:6.14 Overall Rank:2107]
Kevin H
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During the show and tell phase, continuing to write down and change his answers...
 
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6. Board Game: Advanced Civilization [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.02 Unranked]
Kevin H
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We recently dusted this baby off after we both realized that we had never actually finished a game of it. We decided to jump right in and consult the rules when questions arose.

Fast forward to about 8 hours in...after putting a stranglehold on him through relentless assaults, I decide to stop attacking him so we can "just finish the damn thing for once".

Somewhere in there during one of my turns I announced the need for a bathroom break. It came time to acquire trading cards and trade. Immediately after he picked up his trade cards he suddenly reminded me that I could run to the bathroom. Knowing something was up I decided to hold it for a while. I also told him I didn't feel like trading anything that round.

Prior to trading in the next round he again reminded me to use the bathroom. I again declined. I also again declined to trade.

It was then, after what I assume, holding them illegally for 2 trading rounds, he announced he had a buttload of calamities. Or maybe it was just a coincidence.....

Incidentally, it took us 14 hours to complete. Well he claims it took 16...but by the end I could barely remember my own name so he might be right.
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7. Board Game: Pass the Pigs [Average Rating:5.31 Overall Rank:15191]
 
Kevin H
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"DOUBLE LEANING JOWLER BABY!!!"

*me walking back into the room* ".....wow....really......"

Ladies and gentlemen...the man cheats at Pass the Pigs...
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8. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.23 Overall Rank:279] [Average Rating:7.23 Unranked]
Kevin H
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It all started when his friend rolled one of the dice on the floor...picked it up and wanted the die re-rolled. I'm not really finnicky about dice, they just have to be on the table and be "obvious" as to what it is. His friend was kind of upset: "But at work we play it as it lands". Funnily enough, immediately after the die fell, Mr. Serial Cheater said to his friend "You gotta be more careful with the dice rolling".

Anyway...the turn comes to Serial Cheater, he rolls something he doesn't like, and I guess in protest for his friend says it was nudging something, rerolls it...again...and again...and again...at least 4 times I think...

I'm rolling my eyes...his friend says nothing...

Fast forward, the game isn't going Serial Cheater's way...he's the closest to the resource cards, basdically acting as the banker. So to show his disgust, he decides to throw our resource cards to us in the air as he giggled.

I told him to cut it out and said "You don't have to play if you don't want to"

Apparently that didn't sink in because he did it again after the next roll...so I said:

"Come on man...cut it out...stop acting like a child...seriously".

That did the trick, but he did a bunch of other things that I didn't like. It was mine and everyone's very first game of Settlers, and I was often too busy doing silly things like I don't know...reading the rules to make sure we were playing correctly. So he tried to institute a Monopoly-inspired "If your hex is rolled and you don't see that you should collect resources then you miss out on them" rule. I refuse to play Monopoly like that so I'm sure not going to play like that with Settlers.

Oh and don't be too hasty saying your turn is over: "Oh wait I wanted to..." is met with "No, no you said your turn is done so your turn is done"

And weird stuff like...since it's 3-player...usually there isn't much trading, especially early, so you kind of skip the trading step and build if you can. Then a trade is proposed but he would pipe in with "You started building so you can't trade"...I'm not sure where it says that in the rules but you get the idea...

Anyway, that all bugged me...but it was overshadowed with how cool the game seemed to me! I think it's my favourite of the few German games I've played thus far.

But given time to reflect on everything...I've come to a decision...
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