Moron warriors - ridiculous incompetencies in plastic armies.
Marcin Mościcki
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So you sit down to a game and arrange your army off the board into neat batalions ready to kill every enemy in their path, rape and pillage to your eternal glory. Then you start fidgeting with a soldier waiting for your turn and realize that he is completely uprepared for battle. Remember the first lesson about fencing? Stick with the pointy end? Well, many of your minions apparently didn't get that far, or are at least inadequately equipped.

This list is a tribute to all those lazy/clueless/traditionalist designers and production limitations thanks to which we have warriors looking so hilarious on the battlefield.
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1. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.37 Overall Rank:291]
Marcin Mościcki
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Archers who haven't seen a bow before

Now this is my favorite, as in the most annoying, especially that it applies to absolutely every archer figure I have ever seen. Oh, boy where do I start? Let's begin with the arrow resting on the thumb instead of index finger on the other side of the bow. Also, when you draw a bow, if you want a better then a one in a million chance of hitting the target, you place your string hand in an exact spot on your face, as opposed to somewhere near your arm pit, and preferably don't strike a fancy pose, presumably with eyes closed.

Did no one play Robin Hood as a kid? It would take a couple of seconds then to find authentic pictures of archers. Or is it just so much easier to sculpt? Wait, they don't care so much they do it even on the drawings - like elven archers in Rune Age.

P.S. The bows they are using are usually toys, anyway - neither longbows nor eastern short bows.
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2. Board Game: War of the Ring (First Edition) [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:95]
Marcin Mościcki
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Fancy weapons and shields shapes

Ah, no artist seemingly can think 'fantasy' without imagining those ridiculous swords. They'd be probably surprised that fantasy board games are not targeted solely at 10 y.o. boys. Remember, the purpose of these tools is to easily pierce bodies without stucking - that's one of the few things Lord of the Ring films did right. Why put so much effort here, rather then on those archers?
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3. Board Game: Runewars [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:188]
Marcin Mościcki
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Much too short spears and swords

Swords slightly longer then daggers. Spears which do not extend past the destriers' heads. I guess the idea is to limit bending and breaking parts, but I half expect the wielders to throw them away and start punching their adversaries instead.
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4. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.37 Overall Rank:291]
Marcin Mościcki
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Left handed regiments

About 10% of people are left handed. Why do then sometimes all your knights decide to grab weapons with the left hands?
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5. Board Game: Battles of Westeros: Wardens of the North [Average Rating:7.66 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.66 Unranked]
Marcin Mościcki
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Floppy lances

As opposed to other entries on the list, I understand that the alternative to those soft misereable weapons is using hard plastic susceptible to breaks, but frankly, I don't know which I prefer. Breaks can be glued, but those rubber lances look comical.
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6. Board Game: Runewars [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:188]
Marcin Mościcki
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Imagination disconnected from reality

What on earth is this machine supposed to do? Why while striving for originality one has to completely forgo functionality? It's so common in fantasy art that ridiculousness becomes its trademark.
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7. Board Game: StarCraft: The Board Game [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:382]
 
Marcin Mościcki
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Horse blinded space marines

Space marine's life is so full of horrors, that they can't suffer any distraction, so as a rule their vision is limited to about 90 degrees arc and they can't move their heads. If they want to know what's behind them they have to turn around.
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8. Board Game: Age of Conan: The Strategy Board Game [Average Rating:6.67 Overall Rank:1510]
Stephen Coney
Croatia
Zaprešić
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"I SHUN ARMOR!" - shouts the moron. Armor is a lifesaver in battle - increasing your chances of survival by more than seatbelts do in auto accidents. Experienced warriors wear as much as they can get - Conan, in the original stories, wore as much as he could get.

Historically, we have examples of groups that fought "naked," such as the Celts, but notice that the Celts that could afford it universally wore armor. In fact, they invented chain mail.

Also, look at this ridiculous outfit. He has some sort of strap across his chest just at the point where it would restrict the movement of his arms, and his stripper-style G-string has a point placed so that if he bends over, it will pierce his abdomen. Awesome.

Edit: Typo
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9. Board Game: Dungeon Twister 2: Prison [Average Rating:7.30 Overall Rank:1267]
Marcin Mościcki
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Ballet-fu


Another thing you apparently can't have fantasy without. I don't have a 'real' battle/war game with one of those, but I'm sure you'll be able to provide better examples.
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10. Board Game: Warhammer: The Mass Combat Fantasy Roleplaying Game (1st Edition) [Average Rating:6.66 Overall Rank:1537]
Jan Ozimek
Denmark
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Ridiculously large weapons.

This is especially typical for GW dwarves.
 



But not only dwarves:
 

I'm not sure what the thing on the far right is, but if it's a flail of massive iron, it would weigh several times as much as it's wielder.
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11. Board Game: Warhammer: The Game of Fantasy Battles (8th Edition) [Average Rating:7.30 Overall Rank:3314]
Los Schaboss Dragon
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The Horses - well nearly every horse that i own is sculpted wrong - specially the ears are anatomically wrong - then the legs sometimes look like they where broken. did some of the sculpters even look at a horse bevore they went to work ?
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