XM-Radio Geek -- Board Game/Song Parody
Through The Ages
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If you're in a silly mood, I'm countin' 'em down from #9 to #1.
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1. Board Game: Apples to Apples [Average Rating:5.90 Overall Rank:3152] [Average Rating:5.90 Unranked]
Through The Ages
United States
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(Black Eyed Peas -- Let's Get it Started)

In this context, there's no disrespect
So, when I lay down "LeAnn Rimes", don't break your necks
We got five seconds for us to connect
From a handful of bad cards, feel the rhythm effect
Logic is inefficient, follow your intuition
Free your inner soul and break away from tradition
Cuz what we think is a rout, judge's pullin' a pout
You wouldn't believe when he says your stuff's out
Judge it till it's turned out
Repeat it till it's burned out
Mock each card from north, west, east, south

Everybody, everybody, let's get into it
Play stupid
Get green carded, get green carded, get green carded
Let's get green carded (ha), let's get green carded in here
Let's get green carded (ha), let's get green carded in here
Let's get green carded (ha), let's get green carded in here
Let's get green carded (ha), let's get green carded in here
Yeah
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2. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.06 Overall Rank:15]
Through The Ages
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(9 Days -- Absolutely)

This is the story of a dame
Who chose the craftsman and drowned the whole game
Those on her right look so tight in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she crafts

How many times in a year
You sit left of a newbie and only your coffee will clear
And I can be so insincere
Making her bad move seem kind of unclear

As long as she sits there crafting
Bringing in corn at two ears a clip
How many goods disappear
I just don't look in the mirror after only I ship

Her builder helps me on my very next play
And her "mayor" always sends 3 brown discs my way
But I'll never run out of good things to say
 
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3. Board Game: Hammer of the Scots [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:299]
 
Through The Ages
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(Ballad of Davy Crockett -- The Wellingtons)

Born near a mountain top in Ellerslie
Greenest land of the not yet free
Hid in the Selkirk Woods so he knew ev'ry tree
Kilt him a hobelar when he was only three
William, William Wallace, King of the Wild Highlands!

Off through the woods he was healin' along
Makin' up yarns an' singin' a song
Itchin' for some fightin' and rightin' of wrongs.
Callin' out Edward who was twice as strong.
William, William Wallace, King of the Wild Highlands!

The king wintered in Annan an' served a notice
Layin' down 3-cards an' ne'er seemin' t'miss.
Fled over t'Teviot so we heared tell
An' patched up his CV with the Vict-u-als.
William, William Wallace, King of the Wild Highlands!
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4. Board Game: The Russian Campaign [Average Rating:7.25 Overall Rank:1062]
Through The Ages
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(Rainy Days and Mondays -- Carpenters)

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes my units quit
My armor and gear two-bit
Gettin' ground down
All of my sea moves drowned
Sunny days and Stukas always get me down

What I face they used to call blitzkrieg
Everythin' is going wrong
Pushed back to the bleedin' Mekong
Trainin' around
Hearin' the mortar sound
Sunny Days and Stukas always get me down

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with the Moskva crew
Nice to know we have these entrenchments
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Hold and wait for the horde of replacements

The massive assault has come and gone before
We have winter supplies
And partisans in disguise
Hangin' the bait
Nothin' to do but wait
Sunny Days and Stukas always get me down
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5. Board Game: Titan [Average Rating:6.95 Overall Rank:792]
Through The Ages
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(Daughters -- John Mayer)

I know a troll
She puts more color inside my marsh fold
The board's just like a maze
Where all will traverse on his or her movement phase

I'll recruit the best I can
I'll start in the tower with a die in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Titans be good to your monsters
Monsters will fight like you do
Trolls become wyverns, who turn into Hydras
And Titans be good to your centaurs too
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6. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.06 Overall Rank:501]
Through The Ages
United States
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(Somebody Told Me -- The Killers)

Stabbing your back just to stake my claim
Seventeen hours and I've had it with this game
I'm stabbing your back just to stake my claim
But an ending ain't close in a game like this
Anything goes but don't blink you might miss
Cuz treaties don't bind in a game like this
I said a winner ain't close in a game like this
You better calm down Italy, you better calm down tonight
We're still allies, don't let a rumor ruin your moonlight

Well somebody told me that you'd invade Finland while I went to England that we planned in spring of last year
It's not confidential, I've got potential
Ready? Lets roll onto something new
Rolling into France and I'm leaving without you
Ready? Lets roll onto something new
I got your flank, baby we got game
Fifty different conversations all saying the same
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7. Board Game: History of the World [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:597]
Through The Ages
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(Ebony and Ivory -- McCartney/Jackson)

Sassanid and Byzantine
Living together in perfect harmony
Side by side th'Adriatic, static, automatic
Five VPs

We all know
Past peoples are the same wherever you go
They are milking points
At your expense
Learn to smash
Learn to dash the hopes of those comfy Aztecs
Make their cities a wreck
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8. Board Game: Formula Dé [Average Rating:6.99 Overall Rank:577]
Through The Ages
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(Allison Road -- Gin Blossoms)

I lost my brakes on what I found
And all of the pressure made my tyres unsound
On Monaco Road
Fools in the rain slowed too far down
Rolled twenty-seven and now I'm the assclown
On Monaco Road

Dark clouds billow when lanes aren't shared
I couldn't slow further without engine wear
There was no tellin' when fate would chime
I could see I was last at the time...
Yeah everyone knew I was last at the time
On Monaco road

So she lined up and sailed--on my slipstream, yet
And then she stopped short just to block me you can bet
On Monaco Road
Now I can't hide and can't collide
I know I want to pass her but I can't decide
On Monaco road
Um, yeah, knew I was last at the time
So I went looking for the big blue die
All I wanted to find was one more try...
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9. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.65 Overall Rank:7615]
Through The Ages
United States
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(Hey Ya -- Outkast)

One two three go!

(Professor Plum)
Mrs. White don't mess around
Because she's in my hand
So this I know fo shooo
Uh, but does she really wanna
But still can't stand to see me
Callin' her to the flooo...
Don't take it personal darlin'
Because it's all about the killin' and I'm findin' *how* right nooww...
Uh, thank God for that room reveal
For I have no room cards, but
With what weapon I still don't know hooowww...
UH!

(Chorus)
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...
Ahh Haaaaaaaa...
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...
Ahh Haaaaaaaa...
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...
Ahh Haaaaaaaa...
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...
Ahh Haaaaaaaa...

You think you've got it
Oh, you think you've got it
But oh close just don't get it
When some else says
AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaHAAAAA!
We've sleuthed together
Ohh, we've sleuthed together
Ohh, we've sleuthed together
But separate's always better when there's winning
InvooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOlved
If what they say is "I'm making an accusation"
Then what makes, then what makes you so smart?
(Card imbalance) So why you, why you
Why you, why you, why you are you so accusin'
When you are just guessin' heeeerrreeee...
Y'all know i'm better; you just wanna dance

Chorus
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...(UH OH)
Ahh Haaaaaaaa... (UH OH)
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa...(Don't want to see you guessin', UH OH)
Ahh Haaaaaaaa...(Tell me you're just messin', UH OH)
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaaa... (UH OH, did you just say the lead pipe? UH OH)
Ahhhhh... Haaaaaa...(I'm, UH OH, I'm, UH OH)
Ahh Haaaaaaaa... (I just saw that from Miss Scarlet UH OH, I just saw that from Miss Scarlet!)

(Colonel Mustard)
Hey, alright now
Alright now you playas, (We didn't do it!)
Now what's the best way out of the conservatory?
(SECRET PASSAGE!) I can't hear ya'
I say what's the best way out of the conservatory?
(SECRET PASSAGE!) whooo...
Alright, alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright, OK now ladies, (We didn't do it!)
And I gon' break this case down in just a few seconds
Now don't have me break this case down for nothin'
Now I wanna see this die on its baddest behavior
Roll that die, I need a six ahh here we go!
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it (UH OH)
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it (UH OH)
Shake, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, shake it, shake it
Shh you got to, shake it, shh, shake it, shake it, got yo shake it
Shake it Suga' shake it like Poloroid Picture
I rolled a one
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