Neil, the Tusken Tactician
England
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After months of intensive study, we have learned much about this unique community. It is utterly dependent on a distant godhead figure, known as FFG. Warriors in the tribe depend on FFG for their sustenance, particularly in the form of small, plastic spaceships, cards and movement dials. This divinely received sustenance forms the basis of the X-Wing community. In return for the sustenance, warriors provide the godhead with ample riches gathered from their own locale. The amount of riches varies greatly and while it is not universally true that those who donate more to the godhead tend to progress further in the warrior society, it seems to be generally true.

Warriors can be distinguished by their preference for differing ships, although it is socially acceptable not only to have the same combination of ships but even to imitate a more successful warrior’s arrangement. Warriors engage in playful combat with each other through the ships on a regular basis and this regular combat is without doubt the raison d’être of the whole community.

Warriors are very much aware of other divine beings in a larger pantheon but are kept as loyal subjects by FFG through the provision of new ships on a semi-regular basis and by slowly engaging in acts of revelation about those ships in advance. Those who stray to other gods are not punished, either by FFG or indeed by other warriors because there is an underlying assumption that the power of FFG and of the provision of ships is so strong that those who stray will almost always return.

There is no set liturgy but FFG provides a sanctuary where players may talk of revelations past and present. In recent times, the sanctuary has been made much more accessible to warriors, although its inaccessibility led many to spend time in other sanctuaries. Occasionally, players attempt to communicate with the godhead to ask further questions about the revelation, particularly pertaining to rules of combat. FFG is in these regards an elusive deity, allowing the players to combat in a state of semi-confusion. The opening revelation which established this warrior community left many unanswered questions which continue to grow with every further revelation, leaving many warriors within the community in a state of continual dialogue and conjecture. While it is clear that the godhead intended the warriors to engage in combat through the ship sustenance, the lack of clarity of revelation sometimes leads warriors to engage in verbal combat, usually good natured but very occasionally vitriolic and aggressive. The lack of clarity leads to an underlying sense of frustration, sometimes even anger, amongst many warriors toward the godhead. It may be that this is deliberate on the part of the godhead to continue to increase the passions of the warriors, leading to increased frequency of releasing that anger through combat with other warriors. There is certainly an allusion to the lack of divine clarity in the nature of the movement dials, which were designed by the godhead to slowly erode the information they contain.

There are no prophets although the tribal leader is imbued with unique knowledge of future revelations by virtue of his position. The position of tribal leader is established through an annual series of combat encounters from all areas of the community. The current tribal leader, whom the warriors call “hothie,” is a benevolent leader who has tried to ensure that warriors combat for fun at all times. Hothie’s position as tribal leader is continually under threat and in one recent combat, another warrior demonstrated that hothie can be beaten and that others can vie for the position of tribal leader at the next annual encounter. Revelation is strictly controlled through the godhead and although the tribal leader has privileged information, he is forbidden by the godhead to engage in revelation himself. Nonetheless, he is permitted by the godhead to obliquely refer to the potential content of future revelations and of divine donations of sustenance. This performs an important social tool of keeping the community focussed on the future and community members have been known to store great wealth in advance, stoked by these conversations.

Some warriors speculate about the content not just of the forthcoming revelation but even the one after that, although such speculation is often seen by other warriors as pointless. Through the provision of sustenance and the gradual release of revelatory information, the godhead ensures that warriors remain truly focussed on the community itself. This in turn ensures that the godhead is rewarded greatly by as many warriors as possible with each donation of sustenance by the godhead.

This warrior community is overwhelmingly populated by males, although powerful women occasionally make their presence known. This tends to have an unsettling effect on the male warriors. Although there are set rules of combat (which, as was mentioned above, are not entirely clear), warriors are free to choose which ships they combat with and how to use those ships. A very significant number, though, choose to follow the training of a great warrior known as “piqsid.” Warriors have been known to study the battle technique of piqsid in great detail and to try to imitate his combat style. Initiates into the warrior society are often encouraged to study the ways of piqsid and also to buy themselves a second set of ships. Many warriors learn to consider the probabilities of their combat encounters being successful, through painstaking assessment of statistical risks, often provided by notable warriors such as the one known as “vorpal sword.”

The community is overwhelmingly peaceful with the combat of ships being not only a way to channel aggression but also a way to help warriors connect with each other. Some warriors have even worked out how to combat each other at great distances through a medium called “vassal.” Some combats are recorded for posterity and the warrior-chroniclers known as “maxixe” and “R2EQ” have both been known to create intricate works of art with this in mind.

The satisfaction with the sustenance is generally high although both warriors and the godhead are clearly aware that the more that is given to warriors, the more content they become and the less they need future donations. A delicate balance exists between warriors of finite riches and FFG who is constantly in need of donations. There is fear among many warriors that future sustenance may contain elements known as “prequels,” although many talk more favourably of elements of “expanded universe.”

The future of the community is not in doubt. Although it is populated almost entirely by males, the sustenance provided by the godhead is so appealing that new warriors join the community all the time. There are regular times of drought in the provision of sustenance by the godhead. While this occasionally leads to some warriors leaving the community for other sustenance, the usual result is intense foraging by all warriors. As soon as sustenance is located by warriors, they have a tendency to take that which they need and then announce to other warriors where they can take from the remainder. The frenzy that follows is a demonstration of the devotion of the warriors to the godhead and shows us that this warrior community will clearly exist long into the future.



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Benjamin Symons
Belgium
Glabbeek
Vlaams-Brabant
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Very funny!
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Brian Huhtala
United States
Ohio
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+1 grad school points for the use of the term "raison d'être."
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Chad Moore
United States
Illinois
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Ok, this was best ROFL post I have read in quite sometime.

Good work!
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