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Subject: I call upon the collective beard-wisdom of the hive-mind! rss

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AAGH! YOU'RE TOUCHING ME!
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So my electric razor crapped out on me a little over a week ago and I've been waiting to buy another and too damned lazy to shave the old-fashioned way every morning. The result is a scruffy face full of stiff, itchy hair. I've tried my hand at a proper beard a few times, but usually when I get to the point it feels like my chin is being devoured by a swarm of army-ants I give up.

Keeping in mind I have some funky genetic thing that causes random hair follicles to grow 15 hairs from one follicle, making them slightly less hard than titanium, what can I do to get past the rapidly approaching MY GOD IT ITCHES!!!! phase?

Help me experience the glory of a true beard at least once in my life!
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Eddy
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Does your face actually itch, or just the neck? I've found that shaving the neck makes all the difference.
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I've always found the easiest way to get past the itchy phase in accomplishing a manly beard is to stop complaining like a women.
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Only thing I can tell you is that beards don't grow in space.
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I've never had that itchy problem that other men complain about. When I stop shaving, the beardliness flows freely until I tell it to stop.

So I guess I can't help you. Sorry.
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The itchy always comes, but give it a week or so and it passes once the whiskers get a little longer. Just power through and you'll be good.
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Martin Diehl
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I don't usually get the itchy beard thing too much but I'd suggest combing it when it starts to bug you. Train the hair a bit and it might reduce how many are turning aback around to stab you.
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Oh, so you actually think about what you are saying?
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Papasmerv wrote:
I don't usually get the itchy beard thing too much but I'd suggest combing it when it starts to bug you. Train the hair a bit and it might reduce how many are turning aback around to stab you.


That, and you might want to cut back on the face paint for a while.
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I always shampoo and condition my facial hair, which keeps it feeling much more comfortable.
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Chris Tannhauser
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Reasons for not growing a beard:

1. Sans testiclés.

2. Significant other prefers to rut with juvenile man-babies (see #1 above).

3. General pusillanimity.

4. A desire to not resemble a sea captain, mountain man or rail baron—choosing instead the countenance of a weird, craggy girl.
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HiveGod wrote:
Reasons for not growing a beard:

1. Sans testiclés.

2. Significant other prefers to rut with juvenile man-babies (see #1 above).

3. General pusillanimity.

4. A desire to not resemble a sea captain, mountain man or rail baron—choosing instead the countenance of a weird, craggy girl.
5. Tight with Peter the Great
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wmshub wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
Reasons for not growing a beard:

1. Sans testiclés.

2. Significant other prefers to rut with juvenile man-babies (see #1 above).

3. General pusillanimity.

4. A desire to not resemble a sea captain, mountain man or rail baron—choosing instead the countenance of a weird, craggy girl.
5. Tight with Peter the Great


6. Occupation that requires the wear of a respirator or gas mask.
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SabreRedleg wrote:
wmshub wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
Reasons for not growing a beard:

1. Sans testiclés.

2. Significant other prefers to rut with juvenile man-babies (see #1 above).

3. General pusillanimity.

4. A desire to not resemble a sea captain, mountain man or rail baron—choosing instead the countenance of a weird, craggy girl.
5. Tight with Peter the Great


6. Occupation that requires the wear of a respirator or gas mask.


7. Family trait of only being able to grow a neckbeard.
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I can go 2 weeks and still only have reasonable 5 o'clock shadow.

My ear hair, on the other hand....
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Some things to help get past the itchy phase:

1. STOP TOUCHING IT. First, you're just aggravating your follicles, second, your hands are covered in bacteria, and while you skin has a degree of defense against that bacteria, it can make your skin more itchy and irritated as it tries to fight it off.

2. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. This one sounds mean, but consider - if you sit around perseverating on how itchy it is, than the littlest stimuli will trigger the itchiness. It helps to remind yourself of how manly and bad ass you'll soon look.

3. NO SERIOUSLY, STOP TOUCHING IT AND COMPLAINING ABOUT IT.

If you can do these three things, in about a week or two, you'll stop even noticing the itch.
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This guy doesn't shave for 5 months at a time

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MScrivner wrote:
Some things to help get past the itchy phase:

1. STOP TOUCHING IT. First, you're just aggravating your follicles, second, your hands are covered in bacteria, and while you skin has a degree of defense against that bacteria, it can make your skin more itchy and irritated as it tries to fight it off.

2. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. This one sounds mean, but consider - if you sit around perseverating on how itchy it is, than the littlest stimuli will trigger the itchiness. It helps to remind yourself of how manly and bad ass you'll soon look.

3. NO SERIOUSLY, STOP TOUCHING IT AND COMPLAINING ABOUT IT.

If you can do these three things, in about a week or two, you'll stop even noticing the itch.


THIS. Man up, grow it.

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braveheart101 wrote:
SabreRedleg wrote:
wmshub wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
Reasons for not growing a beard:

1. Sans testiclés.

2. Significant other prefers to rut with juvenile man-babies (see #1 above).

3. General pusillanimity.

4. A desire to not resemble a sea captain, mountain man or rail baron—choosing instead the countenance of a weird, craggy girl.
5. Tight with Peter the Great

6. Occupation that requires the wear of a respirator or gas mask.

7. Family trait of only being able to grow a neckbeard.

8. Have a chin.
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Matt Riddle
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power through then it passes
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squash wrote:
I always shampoo and condition my facial hair, which keeps it feeling much more comfortable.

Use beard oil (which is essentially conditioner for facial hair). It helps to soften your beard and will reduce the itchiness until it grows long enough so that the ends are not resting against your neck and face.
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Seth Brown
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My beard wasn't itchy until I read this thread. angry
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