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Subject: [Pre-Kickstarter] Bully Banks - Seeking feedback rss

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Troels K
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Hi, fellow game designers.

I posted here back in July with an earlier draft of our game, but we have now come so far as to set up a Kickstarter campaign. It's still a bit rough on the edges, so I would really appreciate any feedback you could spare?

http://kck.st/16evoPz

Thanks in advance!
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Nate K
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Utah
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Not my kind of game, but you both seem cool, and I wish you the best of luck.

You may want to consider removing the "Pond 5" and "iStockVideo" watermarks from the video. It looks unprofessional.
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torontoraptors
Portugal
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Some cards appear to have text on the bottom, some have a black backgrounds(or it's just that image) others don't. I think the ones without will be hard to read without pulling them really close to your eyes.
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Troels K
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Thanks.

Nate - Is it the theme that puts you off or something else? The video is a draft - The watermarks won't be there in the final cut. The clips are stock and we didn't want to purchase them until we are sure that we are going to use them.

torontoraptors - Good point. We actually feature different designs in the video. We had them printed to be able to compare and I completely agree with your assessment. We've already more or less settled on going with the dark background on the bottom.
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Nate K
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troelskn wrote:
Thanks.

Nate - Is it the theme that puts you off or something else?


Nah, the theme's fine. I'm just not into cutthroat economic games. I like cooperative games, or (when I do play competitive games) Ameritrash two-player slugfests.
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Roger Hicks
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You might want to add a $1 pledge level to be B4B Challenge friendly. On the other end you may want to add a high pledge level ($500+). You may not get any backers at that level but you definitely won't get any backers at that level if you don't offer it.

Your project has a nice appearance to it and appears professional. Your profile is a little scary - your website only has an e-mail address and you haven't connected a Facebook profile. You haven't backed any other projects - and that's a big warning sign for some people.

Have you built up a community around your game? You want a large base of fans that love to talk about your game long before you go to Kickstarter.

Let me know when you are ready to launch. I run http://TodayInBoardGames.com and I do a lot of free stuff to help project creators get the word out about their games.
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Craig.
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Cincinnati
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I don't understand the first two stretch goals.
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Caroline Swinburne
Australia
Adelaide
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You'll need to be very clear about your shipping for international backers.

Also here's some proofing for you

"Different" is spelled wrong (just under Game Play heading)

Bank cards - Every player plays a different bank and every bank have has special traits that call for different strategies.

The Influence Deck - use your influence cards to bully your opposing banks, hire lawyers, experts and gurus or even take an advice from the famous financial genius Warren Buffet.

The Asset Deck - Ever dreamed about investing in Bonds, Stocks, Currency, Debt or Real Estate? This is done with asset cards all used to expand your banks bank's portfolio of investments and earn a base profit.

The Derivative Deck - No real profit without derivatives. Known among some as "weapons of mass destruction" and most recently infamous for bringing down the world economy. When derivatives are combined with assets your banks bank's profit will rise to astromic astronomic levels.

Hence, its it's a game for both seasoned and more casual players

Use the % sign instead of "pct".
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Troels K
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Wow - Thanks for the feedback. It's very helpful and a little bit humbling.

Roger - I didn't know about the B4B challenge. It's a good initiative though. You're probably right that we should feature a $1 tier in any case. As for the $500 tier, we had that and dropped it. Our initial idea was to make it exclusive for banks and then try to cold call some banks and sell them on it. The responses were rather cold, so we gave up.

As for the profile - and we've heard that from several sources now - it's a practical problem for us. We actually do have a personal presence on KS and have backed projects previously. However, we had to set up a new account for legal reasons (We're not baed in US). We should probably be much clearer about this both on the KS page and on the website.

The community thing is something we have heard time and time again and we have tried our best to build some kind of following. It's rather hard to do though.

I'll definitely keep you posted - Any kind of coverage we can get is much appreciated.

Craig - I don't blame you. We need to rework that part; It's a bit of a mess now, frankly.

Caroline - Thanks for the proof reading. As you may have guessed, we're not native English speakers so we need to be very careful about that. Now that you already paid attention to that part, how does the overall tone come through to you? Are we being overly dry (a concern of mine) or is there something else about the language that catches your attention (in a bad way)?

As for shipping, I agree. We haven't added in yet, since we are still trying to find the optimal solution. We are based in Denmark, so we might be able to ship a bulk to here and then ship within EU to our EU backers, lowering costs. I know that won't directly relate to you, being in Australia, but I reckon we might just amortise the international shipping costs over all international backers to keep thing simple.
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Caroline Swinburne
Australia
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troelskn wrote:

Caroline - Thanks for the proof reading. As you may have guessed, we're not native English speakers so we need to be very careful about that. Now that you already paid attention to that part, how does the overall tone come through to you? Are we being overly dry (a concern of mine) or is there something else about the language that catches your attention (in a bad way)?


The tone is fine, you might want a little more "flavour" in there though, some others have made good suggestions on the site itself about being more descriptive about the bankers and their motivations. It's quite clear and there are no bad overtones with the language.
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Dave Riedy
United States
Glen Ridge
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This might just be me, but I'd recommend removing the line "a card game for bankers" for a couple of reasons:

1. Doubtful that the banker/gamer crossover is that big. I immediately thought "this game isn't for me." I'll play a card game ABOUT banking, sure, but this line makes it sound like it's targeted specifically at bankers/banks.

2. I live in/near NYC -- where there are tons of bankers. I have neighbors and friends who are bankers. Some of them are very nice people. And yet, I still have a very negative opinion of "bankers" due to what happened with the financial crisis, etc. I don't think I'm alone in feeling that way.

Worth considering at least.
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Lexner B
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Dave - we just deleted "a card game for bankers" following your argument. The intention was indeed not to push away anyone from the gaming segment. Even though we do believe that the game also appeal to casual gamers with knowlegde or connections in the financial sector We will think about a catchy phrase. If any of your nice financial friends see the campaign we would die for their feedback ; ) All the best, Lars
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Derek H
South Africa
Johannesburg
Gauteng
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Change
"Money from depositors, appetite for risk and all the dirty tricks from any bankers manual."
to
Money from depositors, appetite for risk and all the dirty tricks that appear in every banker's manual."

Change
"The game is played using three different decks with over 50 unique cards"
to
"The game is played using three different decks, each with over 50 unique cards"
{I assume there are more than 50 cards in the whole game!!!}

Change
"This print-and-play version will come in a common template format"
to
"This print-and-play version will come in common formats, such as PDF, ... "
{I would not back unless I know I am at least getting something I can easily print}

Change
"An auction mechanic determines playorder and distribution of cards among players"
to
"An auction mechanic determines play order and distribution of cards among players"

Change
"See our easy to grasp ruleset here"
to
"See our easy-to-grasp ruleset here"

Change
"2. The remaining 20 pct covers ( mostly already held expenses) to marketing, previews, copyright and of course finalizing the artwork. "
to
"2. The remaining 20% covers marketing, previews, copyright and finalizing the artwork."

Change
"we are committed to turning each order around as fast as humanly possible to get our passion project to your table within the expected delivery window (perhaps even before it)."
to
"we are committed to turning each order around as fast as humanly possible to get our project to your table within the expected delivery window."
{Don't over-promise; the bulk of Kickstarter games ship late - due to reasons out of your hands...}
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Troels K
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Thanks Derek - Very good points.
 
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