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Subject: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so much? rss

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Andrew W.
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I admit to being new here. I admit to being new to this niche end of the hobby in general.

As such, a majority of the games I have experienced thus far are more the U.S. mainstream-produced and classic family games. If the games I have experienced are not such, then the games that remain are mostly one of about five CCGs, or one of about six Trump-suit, trick-taking card games. Only with my recent eschewing of CCGs for the sake of my personal finances have I come to enjoy more niche, and before now - obscure-to-my-experiences - boardgames. I'm finding that I have a pension for the apprecitation of games with a Fantasy theme or a Horror fantasty theme, for examples of my recent inroads into this part of the hobby. Even with that general personal observation, I have found games under such fantasy classifications that I have not enjoyed so much. There is no formula to my enjoymentof games, I'm finding, just experience.

My other gaming experinces outside this end of the hobby stretch back to the later half of the 80's and all involve D&D, Dragon Quest/Dragon Warrior, or Wizardry in some editon, whether it was played on a tabletop or a PC/video game console. In tabletop RPG gaming, I am more often than not a DM, because I like the creative experinces it gives me (most days). It helps me to develop some future creatvie writting projects that I intend.

So, I am new here, but I am not new everywhere. Even at that, I won't shy away from admitting I'm not the most experienced guy in the room, no matter what the activity is. Most times I am not. Maybe even more often than that. Foremostly, I'm gaming to enjoy the company and take my mind off of the harder parts of life. If you win, fine by me. I'm just catching on, after all. If you're here to compete, go get 'em Champ. I'll likely be bringing up the rear anyways, so I won't stop you.

Digressing, Like any hobby, I'm feeling my way around, and building up my tastes, as well as finding individuals with different tastes.

I highly enjoyed setting my account up on the website at the suggestion of a friend. It was good exercise to jog back into my past and attempt to recall most of my experiences. I enjoyed turning a critical eye to those games I have played and placing them on a scale for my personal ratings. I tried very hard to adhere to the 1-10 rubric that the website suggests. I am human though, and some games recieved a human response from me. I'll admit it. What's the big deal? They are my personal ratings anyways, right? I even tried to be honest about it all when I went through and gave each game I rated a comment. I'm not trying to hide anything. I'm not trying to shill any game. I'm not purposely trying to bust any game down in the rankings, either. The site suggested I give them my personal rankings, and so I have done.

So where's my point? Sorry about the delay, here it comes...

In reading this website, and in my travels to get out to meet new people and experience new games, I wonder why people like me upset some people with more experience.

I just meet them all over the place lately. They come in all sorts of neat flavors.

-- Such as people who assert a that less than a 10 ranking on a game they enjoy isn't objectively valid enough, and therefore discredits those who would rank it lower, and calls into question whether someone is knowledgeable enough about a game, or any games really, to give them a ranking.

These are the rankings we are supposed to make on each of our personal experiences with individual games, right? The rankings that really come down to "I like it" / "I don't Like it as much"? My experiences with a game are not valid when asked to give my opinion of my experiences with a game? Why? You sez so? Who are you again? What is it you want me to do? Hey, here's my Username and password, you go ahead and give the games the ranking you think I should, huh? Call me when you're done.

-- Such as the guy who will tell me I don't know squat about any games if I'm not all about an obscure, out of print war game that I can't even find, depicting the thrid day of the sixth month of the German occupation of Can'tstandthisboringgameingrad.

You're right, I don't know. Said so myself. I see now I've been going about life all wrong. What should I do with myself now? I just got here; I don't know where to find the line for the Office of Persons without Value and Home for the Visually Unpleasant. Do they play those worthless games I play over there? Do you think they will like me?

-- Such as the guy that will know there is a new guy at the table, and say just about the polar opposite of what the new guy just said every time new guy opens up his mouth.

Way to go, pal. You sure showed me what I don't know. You're SMART. Did I tell you I never played this game before? Wow. are you kicking my tail here. Can I come back next week and just sit here, quietly admiring you? Is it next week yet? Because I can barely wait. Oh, I can wait? You sez so? Thanks! Man I'm sure glad I came out to have some fun and ran into you. I was going to try to enjoy myself. How dumb that would have been. Would you like to tell us again about all the post-secondary academic degrees you have earned? Nobody else at the table has any, or did you bother to ask? You're just assuming I have none, right? What do you do again? McD's?

Is this red fruit thing an "appple"? I'll be damned! You say it's a lemon?

Yeah, it all about tastes like lemons.

-- Such as the guy who asks you a question and debates your answer with you the entire remaining length of the evening.

Crap, How did I ever live my life before meeting you? I'm lucky I survived this long, seeing as how I haven't been foolish enough to drink Antifreeze while out of your sight.

Or am I? Anyone know someplace that has antifreeze on sale?

If I gave the wrong answer to your question this time, how's about next time you give me the answer you want me to give on an index card before you ask the question.

Or uhm, you could have some tact and just let people have a different opinion or viewpoint. even when they are so very wrong?

-- Such as the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn.

Look at you! Wow, those other four people will never catch you now! Good thing they took it easy on the newbie! Those suckers, they always lose! If the new guy keeps showing up, you can hamstring him in every game, climbing over his corpse and strolling easily to victory. Wonder how you'll convince him to keep coming?

-- Such as the guy who cheats a dice roll, card draw, or moves a game bit when all have their heads turned.

My shoelace is untied? Thanks! That could have been a disaster.... nope, nope my shoe's allright. Wow, you won again? That's like the 97th time! You're good!

I give all of the above persons 5 stars

Okay, here's a 6th one, special, just for you if you recognize yourself: . Wouldn't want anyone else to get more out of it than you do, after all.

I promise I'll try not to get so frustrated and keep at this hobby for awhile more to see if things take an upturn. I've met some good people. I was hoping to meet more as I go. Guess I just have some rotten luck.

Just do me a favor and wear a nametag to let me know what I can expect out of you. You'll know me, I'm the new guy.

-- Redbeard in 84
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Eric
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I took the time to read all your post, I don't think I've grabbed all of it, but whenever it's in D&D or in boardgames, you'll meet jerks. Just ignore them.

Ratings is always a question of tastes, if you don't like a game you can't rate it high.

Anyways, welcome to the hobby. I have the same type of background you have (RPGs and being a DM most of the time) and good fantasy type games are hard to find.
 
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Andrew W.
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Thanks for the encouragement. Sorry for the tedious reading I put you and others through. I don't know if I meant for people to understand it as much as I just needed to spout off some pressure. Likely should have thought things out more. Ah well, my bad.

I know that avoiding and ignoring the gamers who rub me wrong is the way to go, but I mostly wind up in the same place, same small group. There's just no way around it other than staying home or hoping someone else does. Never seems to be enough people to split off into different activites so I can let them go off and be great without me. Guess I just got to tough it out or decide if it's worth my time. I don't know if there are other gaming venues I can seek out in my area, but I know there can't be very many since I'm driving nearly an hour one way as it is. I love the shop we go to, but one or two people take things upon themselves to let me know how it's going to be, so I can just like it or leave it.

I wouldn't mind just getting plain beat. It somehow seems to be something more personal for them. Maybye it's some hazing. Maybe I'm a jerk and never figured it out. I don't know.

Thanks again

-- Redbeard in 84
 
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James Cheevers
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Much like anywhere else you will meet some good people, which I'm glad to see you have. Also you will meet some complete tools, I've met more than my fair share. As far as the ones you mentioned...

Quote:
-- Such as people who assert a that less than a 10 ranking on a game they enjoy isn't objectively valid enough, and therefore discredits those who would rank it lower, and calls into question whether someone is knowledgeable enough about a game, or any games really, to give them a ranking.


This isn't just related to this site, it's an internet thing. You see them anywhere there is a public forum. I'm just grateful that BGG hasn't degenerated into "CAYLUS RoXXoRs!!!!!!!", just yet. But there will always be the elitist "My opinion is the right one", attitude no matter what hobby you take up.

Quote:
-- Such as the guy that will know there is a new guy at the table, and say just about the polar opposite of what the new guy just said every time new guy opens up his mouth.


This is just because you are the new guy. You'll find he quietens down once he knows that you know he full of %&@#.

Quote:
-- Such as the guy who asks you a question and debates your answer with you the entire remaining length of the evening.


You've never met anyone like this before you joined the hobby? I have relationships like this with some of my closest friends.

Quote:
-- Such as the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn.


I can understand this. However while I'm all for a learning game where the experienced players help out a new guy (we were all new guys once). I much prefer to learn new games with experienced players. Yes I'll be destroyed but I'll have also seen some decent stategies/tactics to play the game better next time. Eventually you'll be the guy doing the steamrolling.

Eventually all these guys that you mentioned will just be the regular players that have quirks. "Oh look, there's Joe the dice thrower. He's playing with Frank". "Yeah I bet Frank's disagreeing with everything Joe says to get under his skin".

Eventually some of these people may become good friends despite their quirks. And the ones that don't? Just don't play with them if you can manage. Most people play for fun. I know I do and if someone isn't fun to play with then I try to avoid them.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

James
 
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Tom "Snicker Daddy" Pancoast
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Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as people who assert a that less than a 10 ranking on a game they enjoy isn't objectively valid enough, and therefore discredits those who would rank it lower, and calls into question whether someone is knowledgeable enough about a game, or any games really, to give them a ranking.

I don't know if you have a specific incident in mind, but there's a thread out there by a guy who like Acquire. He just likes the game. That's it. I doubt he actually thinks everyone else should rate the game as a 10, and if he does, he's borderline crazy.

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who will tell me I don't know squat about any games if I'm not all about an obscure, out of print war game that I can't even find, depicting the thrid day of the sixth month of the German occupation of Can'tstandthisboringgameingrad.

Know-it-all blow hard.

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy that will know there is a new guy at the table, and say just about the polar opposite of what the new guy just said every time new guy opens up his mouth.

Ditto.

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who asks you a question and debates your answer with you the entire remaining length of the evening.

I don't know the topic, but for some people this would just be a "discussion". I guess it is up the the spirit of the discussion, and based on your reaction, it doesn't sound like it was a friendly spirit. In that case, this is more of the same bad behavior as the above examples.

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn.

This one is a little harder to call. If someone is better at the game, are they supposed to take it easy on you? I might just not know the circumstances well enough. It might also be the game. Some games are very unforgiving for beginners.

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who cheats a dice roll, card draw, or moves a game bit when all have their heads turned.

Uggg...

Lack of social controls means the internet lends itself to bad behavior. I have found this sort of borish behavior to be much more rare in person. I go to convensions and I have traveled miles to play games with other game groups (I guess I am little crazy, too). I have been much luckier than you. Even at the World Boardgaming Chapionship, where competition is right in the title, I have not seen bad behavior like this (others have been less lucky).

I occasionally hear about people who play games as a kind of chest beating, phalis waving, ego boost. I don't know why you seem to have found so many, but if at all possible, you need to find some friendly people to play games with. You say you aren't an expert, but you have got one thing right. Games should not be played this way.
 
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Graham Smallwood
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Redbeardin84 wrote:
I don't know if there are other gaming venues I can seek out in my area, but I know there can't be very many since I'm driving nearly an hour one way as it is.


If I can cherrypick one line out of your post, I'd just like to point out http://boardgames.meetup.com/ . I hang out with 30-40 people once a month to play all sorts of games now, and I find that number is big enough to avoid the turkeys and get to know some really great people. Sorry that you've had so many bad internet and real-life bad encounters. It's worth fighting onward to find the friends you haven't met yet that are out there.
 
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J Jacy
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Maybe you should give a try to some of the online boardgame sites? This way you'll be able to weed out the jerks, and play with people you like instead of being stuck playing with the same jerks at your "local" venue over and over. Plus it seems that many of these players are BGGers, and you may get a sense before even playing the games as to what their attitudes are like by reading their comments on games and the forums etc.

Good luck, hope your experiences so far don't ruin the overall fun.
 
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S fessey
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Hmmm. I have been considering joining my local gamers for a while and only now have the time to do so. This post has given me second thoughts. I'll probably still turn up and have a look - I'm not that easily swayed! - but this does hit a chord.

I play games with my wife and two of our friends mostly and that is great. I have attended 2 conventions alone to have a look-see and under the assumption that everyone is friendly and that games just "spark up". They don't. Or at least they don't easily. I'm afraid there is a large aspect of the hobby which is hardcore, aggressive geek. The kind of - male usually - person who has control issues in "real" life and becomes dominant and spiteful because they know every word in the 64 page rulebook, the entire FAQ on the website and the official (and unofficial) expansions. The last "convention" I went to was a smaller affair than most and although I enjoyed talking to the sellers and browsing I was flat out ignored by every one of the gamers. I hovered, I lingered, I attempted initial chit-chat but not one person offered a seat, a warm smile or anything other than a cold shoulder.

I wonder whether this is the real reason our hobby doesn't strike it big in the UK and US? IT is so unapproachable for anyone toying with an interest. I mean, I'm confident and easy-going (I am so and if you say different I'll smash your meeples!) and come from a background of rpgs but for someone who likes the "look" of Ticket to Ride or wants to know how you can play a boardgame without dice... well, I'm afraid they aren't catered for very well.

Our demographics aren't wide and I think some people want to keep it that way.
 
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Red Dragon
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Re: Meeting new people through games
I'm a relative newbie at boardgaming with apparently the same sort of background as you, i.e. grew up playing trick-taking card games and 'popular' board games, played D&D campaigns for a decade, and haven't done much since. Just three months ago, I started going to regular board gaming sessions.

My experiences with the people I have met have been very different from yours. I have played with about a hundred people (wild estimate, but it has to be between 50 and 150 different people), and none of them fit any of your descriptions. I can only think of two people who sort of grate on my nerves, but not enough that I would avoid a game with them, and two others that I would rather not play with at all. But not for any of the reasons you describe. The other 96 (or 46 to 146) people are fun to play with, regardless of the game, and regardless of whether I win or lose the game. Perhaps I'm more tolerant of people's quirks than you are.

The two I'd rather never play with again, that don't fit any of your categories, were morons who made the whole game into a session of 'taking it easy on them' because they were incapable of making the least little decision for themselves. And no, I don't mean they were kids; I've played with kids and enjoyed the game every bit as much as with adults, kids aren't morons even though many adults treat them that way. I mean, these two players (out of a hundred) were morons. Out of all the other people who annoyed you, didn't you meet anyone who made you play the game for them?

Which of your categories do I fit into, I wondered, and decided the only possibility was "the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn." While I don't need to win a game to enjoy it, and while I will give a newbie suggestions and allow take-backs of bad mistakes the first few turns (and I have needed quite a few of those myself, since in the last 3 months I have learned the rules to over 50 games I've never played before), maybe someone who's a moron might think I "need to win" if I don't hand-hold him through the whole game, and might see me as "steamrolling him" if my game strategy is so much better than his. So be it; if we're not playing to win, why are we keeping score? Eh? None of the 96 fun people I've played with took it easy on me as the newbie, or cried when I won, those times I did.

Overall, I am quite pleased at the people I have met at the board gaming sessions. I've had a lot of fun at it. Sorry to hear your experiences were so very different.
 
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Dave Dubin
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sfessey wrote:
The last "convention" I went to was a smaller affair than most and although I enjoyed talking to the sellers and browsing I was flat out ignored by every one of the gamers. I hovered, I lingered, I attempted initial chit-chat but not one person offered a seat, a warm smile or anything other than a cold shoulder.

I wonder whether this is the real reason our hobby doesn't strike it big in the UK and US? IT is so unapproachable for anyone toying with an interest.


I've had less of a problem with this since:

1) Getting older. Young people at conventions often prefer to socialize with people they already know, or are too shy to engage in conversations with people they don't. But as I've gotten older, people my own age are more confident and at ease -- that includes me.

2) Moving to the US midwest. It's not that people are really any nicer than in other places, but I find there's a social expectation to behave friendlier.

3) Starting to occasionally referee games at conventions (at smaller events). It's easier to invite people to learn a game than to strike up conversations with a group who are already in the midst of one.

 
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Andrew Faehnle
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Confessions of a 10-star gamer.
Is it possible that people have their foibles and not overlooking the shortcomings of others is your own character flaw?

I mean honestly, I play games to (1) have fun and (2) win them. So, if I can win, and in the process have to steamroll a newbie so be it. I think it'd be offensive to their abilities if I did anything less than my best against them. So give me for that.

Also, I am a talker, a devils advocate, a debater. If I engage you in a discussion about an abstract poitn, I'll do my damnedest to argue my side. Nothing personal; I may not believe the side I'm arguing. I just think that debate itself is a kind of logic game, and like to take it to its conclusion as well. So, sorry if I've done that to you. Give me another .

I don't think either of these is as horrible as you portray it. And if you don't like it, then that is your choice, but realize that I (or others who behave this way) may not be bad people because of it. I take this personally because in your post decrying the behavior of others, you've managed to insult me twice. I don't deserve that. I'm not a bad person.

Of course, cheaters are inexcusable. But no gamer true to his or her roots would accept a gamer who cheats. And you're no more likely to find them through games than any other way you'd run into a liar.

But seriously, ease up, before you become one of the people who you yourself villify. Otherwise not only would you be a gamer, you'd also be a hypocrite.
 
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Andrew W.
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
I see.

All right, my bad. I guess people can be a victim of my expectations. I apollogize for doing so to you, and twice over. Posting while frustrated wasn't my best idea. I'll try to do better.

Guess I am a jerk and nobody ever told me before.

I will have to learn to graciously curb debates rather than endure them if they rub me so wrong while gaming. Participating in them isn't going to work out for me while I game, though. Some other times I am better about this practice. I guess I'm just possessive of my recreation time, and I don't find debate relaxing.

Also, I don't mean to not compete hard when I play board games. I expect people to compete hard against me, too, new or veteran.

The practice seems to be to explain the rules to me as we go about the game, which is fine, until I try four or five things that are forebidden by rules, and usually invested and wasted turns to get into a position to attempt what wasn't allowed to begin with. No one to blame for that but myself. It still stinks. Without forewarning what game I will be playing, and having not much say in what gets chosen to play, coming prepared for the rules isn't working here. I just have to go on trial and error and see where it gets me for now.

What I do have a problem with is, sometimes you start a game for the first time, they let you place on the board first, next turn you look up, and you've been boxed in by five guys. That can't be unintentional. Is it good game strategy to do it? Yes! Absolutely! Do I want to keep playing this game for the next two hours and see what comes of it all? Hmmm, not really. Especially so in games where you have just told me that the game never really turns the tables on those who are in the lead. Seems we play a fair bit of that type.

Also, in a few months of weekly games at the shop, I haven't gotten to play a game I've learned for a second time unless I played with a friend outside of the weekly shop gaming night. Most times, I welcomed the change because of a bad experience with the previous game.

I know a lot of you read this and think, "Watch and learn, you'll know better for next time." Well, I'm here to tell you next time hasn't come yet in months, so it's very hard to adapt to game after game one has never played before.

I have asked for different games, though, so it's on my head as well. Most times I ask because the game we last played just didn't suit me, So it's a fair bit of my own fault.

I know this will be solved with experience and perserverance. Just on the day I first popped off a post, it wans't looking appealing.

It is late where I am, so I will return tomorrow.
Thanks for humoring me this long while. I intend to get back to everyone's points. Just thought it was important to own up to my own offenses with the here offended, when lamenting the shortcomings of others.

Perhaps keeping to myself will work out better for me in the long run as well. We'll see.


 
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Gabe Alvaro
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Redbeardin84 wrote:
The practice seems to be to explain the rules to me as we go about the game, which is fine, until I try four or five things that are forebidden by rules, and usually invested and wasted turns to get into a position to attempt what wasn't allowed to begin with. No one to blame for that but myself. It still stinks. Without forewarning what game I will be playing, and having not much say in what gets chosen to play, coming prepared for the rules isn't working here. I just have to go on trial and error and see where it gets me for now.

What I do have a problem with is, sometimes you start a game for the first time, they let you place on the board first, next turn you look up, and you've been boxed in by five guys. That can't be unintentional. Is it good game strategy to do it? Yes! Absolutely! Do I want to keep playing this game for the next two hours and see what comes of it all? Hmmm, not really. Especially so in games where you have just told me that the game never really turns the tables on those who are in the lead. Seems we play a fair bit of that type.


Hmm. Sounds like you are playing certain strategy games for the first time that require a bit of pre-game analysis of the board setup before starting. Some games are like that. If it's your first time, then you'll often get screwed 'cuz it's hard to know what to look for. If that's what you are experiencing, then maybe you should be sure you can play twice in a night before starting. I often experience what I call "loser's zeal". I lose at a game, especially a new one, but I like playing it so much that I immediately want to give it another try just so I can take a better shot at winning and try some better strategies. It would suck just to play once and lose. If that's what you are experiencing, then I'd say try avoiding such situations.

And remember, board games are supposed to be about fun. If it ain't fun, why do it?
 
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Redbeardin84 wrote:
The practice seems to be to explain the rules to me as we go about the game, which is fine, until I try four or five things that are forebidden by rules, and usually invested and wasted turns to get into a position to attempt what wasn't allowed to begin with. No one to blame for that but myself. It still stinks. Without forewarning what game I will be playing, and having not much say in what gets chosen to play, coming prepared for the rules isn't working here. I just have to go on trial and error and see where it gets me for now.

What I do have a problem with is, sometimes you start a game for the first time, they let you place on the board first, next turn you look up, and you've been boxed in by five guys. That can't be unintentional. Is it good game strategy to do it? Yes! Absolutely! Do I want to keep playing this game for the next two hours and see what comes of it all? Hmmm, not really. Especially so in games where you have just told me that the game never really turns the tables on those who are in the lead. Seems we play a fair bit of that type.


If everyone else knows the game and you don't that's hard - and it's probably better if the seating order is seeded so you don't have to go first, unless going first is an advantage.

Perhaps you're rubbing the other players the wrong way and they're ganging up on you?

If it's a new game - then learn as you play can work - in fact with some players it's the only way, I've taught people games by explaining the rules and you KNOW they've stopped listening about 3 minutes into the explanation ... However if we're learning as we go we usually play a couple of turns, enough to understand the game, then abandon it and restart. It also helps if the same game gets played a few times. With so many games out there it's really tempting to keep playing new ones, but then you never get past the learning part of any of them!
 
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Ron Pfeiffer
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Redbeardin84 wrote:




-- Such as the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn.

Look at you! Wow, those other four people will never catch you now! Good thing they took it easy on the newbie! Those suckers, they always lose! If the new guy keeps showing up, you can hamstring him in every game, climbing over his corpse and strolling easily to victory. Wonder how you'll convince him to keep coming?



-- Redbeard in 84


I hear you. Just experienced this a short time ago. First effort at Princes of Florence. 2 Newbies (me included) a teacher and a player who apparently wanted to win real bad. So we begin. Newbie # 1 (me) places a building in a terrible spot. WANTS TO WIN complains when teacher allows NEWBIE #1 to move it after explaining why position is bad. NEWBIE #2 then after making a move decides before the next player moves to change the position of a placed piece. WANTS TO WIN complains once again about your not allowed to move a piece. Eventually instead of learning how to play both NEWBIe #1 and NEWBIE #2 just make any old play without discussion and WANTS TO WIN scores a huge victory. WANTS TO WIN on turn 7, after making sure that victory was well at hand finally offers advice to both NEWBIE #1 and NEWBIE #2. Enjoyable game _ NOT!!! but hey WANTS TO WIN WON!!!!!so all was not lost.
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
ginko_biloba wrote:
Ever think that maybe you JUST CAN'T HANDLE boardgaming? It seems you're cracking under the pressure. I bet every time you get home after playing a game you crawl under your bed in a fetal position and cry like a little girl.

If you can't do the time...

DON'T DO THE CRIME!


Thanks for your help. Sorry to have inconvienced you.

Crawling under my bed does sound like a great idea. Too bad I'm so Fat. Can't fit under there. Maybe more diets, less games, huh?
 
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Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as people who assert a that less than a 10 ranking on a game they enjoy isn't objectively valid enough...


The Connoisseur

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who will tell me I don't know squat about any games if I'm not all about an obscure, out of print war game that I can't even find


The Expert

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy that will know there is a new guy at the table, and say just about the polar opposite of what the new guy just said every time new guy opens up his mouth.


The Contrarian

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who asks you a question and debates your answer with you the entire remaining length of the evening.


The Debater

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who needs to win every game just steamrolling the new guy to gain the lead for the rest of the two hour game on the second turn.


The Competitor

Redbeardin84 wrote:
-- Such as the guy who cheats a dice roll, card draw, or moves a game bit when all have their heads turned.


The Cheater

Wow. If that isn't just the description of an all-star team of annoying geeks. We'll just line up a seven player game for you where you can enjoy all of these habits at once!

I feel your pain. That contributes to why I tend to play with the same group week to week (also to be able to do deeper games as we aren't always relearning the rules). We've all got some bad habits, but it is best when people recognise their extreme tendencies and try to keep them in check especially when meeting new people.

We'll form a twelve step program:
Me: "My name is Greg, and I'm a competitor."
Everyone: "Hi Greg"

-Greg
 
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Okay, It's a new day, the boss gave me the day off while they handle some repairs, and I think I have some promises to keep here.

I'm a bit overwhelemed and ashamed at the stir this caused. I intended to address everyone's much appreciated advice and questions. Thank you for taking such time on my behalf. I think it is better, however, to take a different approach, and instead tell my plans.

1) Be more brief in writing. Irony is I think I barely talk.

2) Be less reactive. Leave the high horse at home. Have better humor.
2a)Other than this thread, I have never been so rude as to point out a flaw in someone I observe unless I have known them for years. Even then, I attempt to be non-confrontational and constructive about it. I have my judgements, but I don't know how the people I'm meeting are picking up on them when I haven't been addressing the matter with them directly nor covertly.

3) Seek new players, and try to make a better impression on them than I apparently have on the group I already met. This would be easier to remedy if I knew what triggered the landslide, but I guess "head down, shut up" will cover it.

4) Keep in touch with the several good guys I have met and see if something else can be arranged away from the regulars at shop night. If not, keep on looking, knowing I made an effort to reach out.

5) Find more resources on other game venues, online or terrestial. Thanks especially for the suggestions already given.

6) Play games twice, unless I really can't stand it enough to be a sport.

7) Never go first. Never. No, not even then.

8) Quit expecting to not get hosed the first time out. I don't think I shy away from hard competition. And I don't think I mind losing to hard competition, or any competiton at that. But I have to lose the expectation of the illusion of having a chance during the learning of a game. Getting disheartened is just not reasonable behavior.

9) In case of debate, see plan #3. re: "head down, shut up."

10) Keep at this undertaking until I enjoy it or two years have elapsed. Dilligence should be satisfied with that length of effort.

Thanks again for bothering with me and commisserating. All apollogies for those I have wronged with my unflattering characterizations when I was frustrated. I had no right to do it, and make no excuses for it.

I'm taking this week off from the shop because the normal schedule there is changed anyways. I'll reflect and see how I feel about going back in a couple week's time.

If you feel there is something I overlooked, by all means say so.

--Redbeard in 84



 
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
I am with p0pcult above on this one. But...that said, if you are teaching a game to a newbie, my group plays that the first game doesn't count even if there is only 1 newbie, therefore no one cares who wins. 2nd game...you are toast if you didn't pick the game up the first go. Table talk is always good though, thats what makes it fun. Honestly though, the better the people are at the game you are learning, the faster you will learn, cause you will be doing your damdest (is that a word?) not to get creamed.
 
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I think you're putting far too much thought into this.

Not everyone clicks with everyone. If you're not clicking, move on and don't look back.

I generally think it's a good idea to meet fellow gamers, even though I realize far too many of them don't bathe. Changing my greeting or how I play games isn't going to change that, and I don't know them well enough to corrupt them to the power of soap, without scarring them for life.
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
There are jerks out there, but you will meet fun and interesting people via gaming. One of my best friends was met via this hobby and I've since been adopted into his regular gaming group.

I used to go to a lot of LAN parties where you sit in and room and play networked games but never talk to anyone. Board gaming is a much more social experience and is should let you meet all kinds of new people.

Just try to relax and don't take the bozos too seriously. As long as you're having fun, it's all good.
 
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Robert Bowsher
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
You must've led a relatively sheltered life in CCG-land if you didn't get used to dealing with these types of players at your typical M:tG tournament.

I've had people tell me my deck was shit after watching me win a 64-man single-elimination tournament with it.

I've had players tell me that I was in for some serious beatdown, then refuse to shake my hand when they got their ass spanked.

I've been on the delivery side of asshat behavior, throwing a deck across a room in a fit of rage over a severe case of mana glut.

I've had my opponent tell me to keep my hands visible at all times, just so I wouldn't cheat. Which I could understand if we weren't DEAD F*****G LAST!


All in all, I've met a much better class of gamer while playing boardgames than I ever did in my M:tG days. Does this mean every Magic player is an asshat and every boardgamer is a saint? Of course not.

You meet your fair share of blowhards, knowitalls, etc, in any hobby where you get more than one person in one place. When I run into them I try to remember that I'm doing this for fun and that everybody's somebody's weirdo, even me . If I have the same problem with the same player multiple times, I just don't play with them. Finding another game is easy, changing people's inner nature is hard.
 
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I have had trouble finding pick-up games at conventions/gathering in the past. Occassionally people will go out of there way to call over folks wondering around. The best way to get a pick up game in most places is to just start setting one up, likley you'll attract at least the other detached people and maybe others. Once you have those 4 new friends making connections to other tables will be much easier. Also conventions with schedules can help out, if you don't mind some competition these provide a way to meet other players without having good meetup skills.
 
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Andrew W.
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Re: Meeting new people through games -- Good Idea? Not so mu
Booder98 wrote:
You must've led a relatively sheltered life in CCG-land if you didn't get used to dealing with these types of players at your typical M:tG tournament.


Oh, They were present there, too. Academically speaking, I only went to one constructed deck format Magic: the Gathering event, and all others I attended were the less tense pre-relase booster drafts. I have formerly "competed" in another CCG at the international level (if I can count Canada as international instead of just pleasantly neighborly) for the length of two years.

In such an arena, the people who were rubbing me wrong were more tolerable to my mind, because there were prizes involved in the balance. When one is competing ing for something tactile, I can better understand the ambitions and ill-manners, especially in such a head-to-head format where I know I have as good a chance as I can make for myself, rather than having as good of a chance as several people dictate I should have.

Weekly bragging rights or whatever the drive is at my "local" shop just doesn't make that same spark in me. I guess it's my job to understand that it does do something for others. Not having an easy answer for what are some people's motives must be the stumper for me in all of this.

I agree that I have perhaps overexamined the whole affair, as someone fairly suggested.

Booder98 wrote:
You meet your fair share of blowhards, knowitalls, etc, in any hobby where you get more than one person in one place. When I run into them I try to remember that I'm doing this for fun and that everybody's somebody's weirdo, even me . If I have the same problem with the same player multiple times, I just don't play with them. Finding another game is easy, changing people's inner nature is hard.


Too true. I guess that's the point of why I'm putting myself through the efforts. I'll have to change myself, because it's all I can change. Outside of regional gaming conventions and online play, I'm becoming less hopeful that finding another game will be quite so easy.

I guess I am all about the self-examined life. I'll put that on my weirdo badge. Thanks all.

- Redbeard in 84
 
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Robert Cordova
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I want my 3 minutes back
 
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