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Subject: Li Mei Chin and the Sword of Hades rss

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Tim DeForest
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A story based on Li Mei Chin's epic adventure to recover an artifact during one particular game:

It took several days to hack her way through the Congo jungle, but Li Mei and her motley gang finally neared the old ruins wheich--according to her information--was the location of the Sword of Hades.

According to legend, the Sword had belonged to a cursed Crusader who had gotten really, really lost while travelling to the Holy Land in the 13th Century. It was said to have the power to speak to the dead--or perhaps even raise the dead.

But Li Mei isn't the first person to arrive on the scene. As she carefully peered through the foliage at the edge of a clearing, she saw a German U-boat docked alongside the edge of a river that coursed through the ruins.

At her side, Baxter the dog growled. Li Mei patted his head and said "Quiet, boy."

Behind her, Jeeves shook his head. "These gentlemen are likely to object to our presence, Madame." Li Mei had been a little worried about the unflappable butler when she first won his services in a Ma Jong game, but he had proved his worth since then.

"They're probably after the Sword as well," said Li Mei. "I think it might be a good idea to give them something else to think about."

Ten minutes later, after the sun had finished dropping below the horizon, Li Mei quietly approached the U-Boat. There was a sentry pacing the deck, but she waited until his back was turned, then scrambled down a hatch.

She found herself in a narrow corridor and had to duck into a storage closet while a couple of sailors walked past. When the coast was clear, she moved towards the engine room.

Entering carefully, she rendered an engineer unconscious with a chop to his neck. Then she stuffed some flammable materials underneath a row of batteries, lit a match, and ran.

She was out of the sub and sprinting towards the jungle before anyone noticed her. The Germans were all too distracted by the sudden fire in the U-Boat's engine room to pay any attention to anything else.

Rejoining Baxter and Jeeves, she circled the U-boat and entered the ruins from another direction. Soon, the trio located the particular building which, according to their information, housed the Sword of Death.

They entered, climbing down a crumbling stairwell while Jeeves lighted their way with a torch. When they reached the bottom of the stairwell, Jeeves suddenly said "Please stop, madame."

Li Mei had long since learned to trust the butler. She froze. "What is it?"

"Those stones. It has been a few years since I audited that archeology course taught by Professor Jones, but I believe I recognize the layout of the stone slabs on the floor. Some of them are pressure points--step on one of them and it will trigger a trap of some sort."

Li Mei frowned. "Can we tell which are safe to step on?"

Jeeves studied the floor for several minutes, then said "Wait here, madame." Before she could object, Jeeves was walking across the floor, jumping with seeming randomness from one slab to another.

He reached the other side of the room to stand in a large, arch-shaped doorway."Please follow my course exactly, madame."

Li Mei jumped across the floor, with Baxter obediently following right behind her. When she rejoined Jeeves, she immediately said "I don't pay you enough, Jeeves."

"Madame doesn't pay me at all," Jeeves reminded her in a calm voice. He pointed forward. In the next room, the Sword sat atop a stone alter, covered with dust and cobwebs.

Li Mei picked it up and wrapped it in a thick canvas cloth she had been carrying. "It doesn't look all that impressive. Still, it should be worth something to a museum or collector."

"It will be worth even more to me and my 'family,'" said a sultry voice from one side of the room.

Li Mei turned to see Vanessa Love enter the room through a crumbling gap in one of the walls. She wore a khaki jump suit rather than her usual revealing dress, but Li Mei felt a surge of absurd jealousy that the jump suit was clean and Vanessa's hair still in place. How does she DO that?

Vanessa covered them both with a pistol. "I'll take the sword, Li Mei."

"This is a popular item," replied Li Mei. "Both the Nazis and the Mob seem to want it badly."

"I think we can make better use of it than the Nazis," said Vanessa. "Imagine it--any of our men who have been killed by rivals or even sent to the electric chair--all of them could be brought back. Our power would be unrivaled. Neither the Feds nor the rival mobs could ever touch us."

Baxter suddenly barked loudly and lunged. Instinctively, Vanessa swung her pistol towards the dog and fired. Baxter changed direction suddenly and the bullet ricocheted off the floor.

Li Mei launched herself at Vanessa in a flying kick, landing a foot firmly against the mob woman's chin. Vanessa stumbled and fell backwards, losing her gun.

Li Mie pointed towards the hole through which Vanessa had entered. "Everyone out." Jeeves and Baxter hurried through the hole. Li Mei brought up the rear. They found themselves in a narrow tunnel that angled upwards. Soon, they were crawling out a hole to reach the surface.

To their surprise, there was a car nearby, parked on a narrow trail through the jungle.

"We spent three days crawling through a leech-filled jungle and she just DROVE here," moaned Li Mei.

"We must make a note of this trail for future reference," said Jeeves. "In the meantime, I'm afraid there are several German soldiers approaching on motorcycles."

"They must have had the cycles stored on the U-Boat. I should just stick to singing. Artifact hunting is becoming increasingly difficult."

The trio piled into the car and Jeeves quickly hot-wired the ignition. Li Mei took the wheel and soon they were speeding along the road.

But the Germans were gaining on them and pistol shots were soon buzzing just overhead.

Li Mei saw a hairpin turn coming up. She took the turn on two wheel. Momentarily out of sight of the Germans, she slammed on the breaks and brought the car around in a 180-degree bootleggers turn.

"Madame, is this wise?" asked Jeeves.

"Probably not." She pressed down on the gas again and turned the corner, now going in the opposite direction.

The motorcyclists were now on a collision course with them. As the car came back into view, both Germans turned in sudden panic. One cycle flipped and slid, sending its driver on an unplanned headfirst dive into the surrounding jungle. The other cycle slammed directly into a tree and exploded.

Li Mei slowed again and carefully turned the car back around. But before she continue the journey, someone stumbled out of the jungle.

"Li Mei, what..." The man seemed confused. Li Mei looked at him, shocked speechless for several minutes. It was Jonesy, the former burglar who had helped her on several previous adventures.

But Jonesy was dead, lost in quicksand in New Zealand.

"Li Mei, where are we? The last thing I remember... well, I'm not sure what I remember. Something about drowning, I think. Some sort of nightmare."

Li Mei glanced at the Sword lying on the car's back seat. "I'll, um, I'll explain later. Get in. Jonesy, this is Jeeves and Baxter. They're friends also." When Jonesy was seated, she re-started the car. "Once we get back to civilization, I'll explain. It may take awhile, but I'll explain." She sighed. "I really should stick to singing for a living."
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Bravo! Great fiction, well told, & if you look you can see all the game elements incorporated nicely! This sums up everything I love about FanG (& FFP games in general).
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Daniel Potter
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It's adventure time! All the funnier because I just finished a re-watching of Jeeves and Wooster. I hear Stephen Fry admonishing Miss Chen for her recklessness
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