Attention! Chat lunatique!
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We're at the secret volcano fortress of a wanna-be games designer. What the world doesn't know is what happens when inspiration fails to strike, and the game idea is less than sound. Here are some failed game ideas that didn't quite make it off the drawing board.

*****

GrassMaster -- This real-time strategy game has you competing in grass-growing activity. You start out with a simple lawn, eventually moving up to ball parks, football pitches, and golf courses. Players mow, water, and mow again; watch the grass respond to your technique in real time. Expansion sets include FESCUE! and KENTUCKY BLUEGRASS.

Marble -- In this solitaire action game, players are locked in an empty square room. The object is to carom a marble off as many walls as possible before losing all sanity points and shoving the marble up one's nose. Average game length: five minutes.

Deduction! -- Not a Cluedo clone! Players navigate the impenetrable and contratictory US Tax Code and accompanying IRS Regulations, avoiding audits, and calculating and then re-calculating capital expenditure amortization recapture provisions for 539(c) subcorporations. You may owe less money to the government, you may owe more, but you won't really know for sure. A complete new rules edition every year keeps the game challenging.

Dune -- Arid. Lifeless. Unchanging. Or is it? You are the sole survivor of a planetary survey mission. All equipment is broken; using only your eyes, you must watch a sand dune for any signs of life. Don't blink! Missing that faint sign of life resets the rescue timer and pushes out your mission's recovery. Not for players with hallucinatory tendencies.

Sand & Stars -- "There are as many grains of sand on a beach as there are stars in the heavens." Your task is to prove the saying true. You are given your choice of beach, a Hubble Telescope deep-field star map, and an abacus. For one to infinity players.

Watch Paint Dry -- This timeless classic has been updated to include today's high-tech coatings. Low-volatility elastomeric compounds and computer-milled pigments add deep, long-term strategy to any painting project. Colors in the basic game include red, blue, and Nantucket Sea Foam.

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Erik D
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Shotgun Souls -- Who will be the quickest to call dibs on your soul? Not a boring game. Just preparing you for the next comment.
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Larry Levy
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He openly talked about games. His soul may be tainted. Even here in Chit Chat, we have some standards!
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Larry Levy
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Oh, alright, DIBS!




So sue me, I'm hungry!
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Moshe Callen
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ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ/ πλάγχθη, ἐπεὶ Τροίης ἱερὸν πτολίεθρον ἔπερσεν./...
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μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος/ οὐλομένην, ἣ μυρί᾽ Ἀχαιοῖς ἄλγε᾽ ἔθηκε,/...
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Larry Levy wrote:
He openly talked about games. His soul may be tainted. Even here in Chit Chat, we have some standards!

It's just humor related to them. They're not real you-know-whats.
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Larry Levy
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whac3 wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
He openly talked about games. His soul may be tainted. Even here in Chit Chat, we have some standards!

It's just humor related to them. They're not real you-know-whats.

He used the G-word, Moshe! The line must be drawn here!!!

(And while it wasn't a bad soul, I've certainly tasted better!)
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Jeff
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Larry Levy wrote:
Even here in Chit Chat, we have some standards!


Eh.... not really...

...and we like it that way!
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午餐先生
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Larry Levy wrote:
He openly talked about games. His soul may be tainted. Even here in Chit Chat, we have some standards!


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Andy Andersen
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Michigan
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But he's a newbie.

No cutting of slack?
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Moshe Callen
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ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ/ πλάγχθη, ἐπεὶ Τροίης ἱερὸν πτολίεθρον ἔπερσεν./...
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μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος/ οὐλομένην, ἣ μυρί᾽ Ἀχαιοῖς ἄλγε᾽ ἔθηκε,/...
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Orangemoose wrote:
But he's a newbie.

No cutting of slack?


Where's that slack?
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Larry Levy
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whac3 wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
But he's a newbie.

No cutting of slack?


Where's that slack?

Hey, it could have been worse; he might have shown a mohel's knife!
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Attention! Chat lunatique!
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Sheesh. You all act like I barged into the ladies' room or something.

Any particular mod listed on the BGG mods page I should contact about moving this to another forum?
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Pieter
Netherlands
Maastricht
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Don't take them seriously. Nobody does. Least of all them.
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Erik D
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All he said was these games were good enough for Jehova!

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Moshe Callen
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Jerusalem
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ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ/ πλάγχθη, ἐπεὶ Τροίης ἱερὸν πτολίεθρον ἔπερσεν./...
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μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος/ οὐλομένην, ἣ μυρί᾽ Ἀχαιοῖς ἄλγε᾽ ἔθηκε,/...
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Larry Levy wrote:
whac3 wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
But he's a newbie.

No cutting of slack?


Where's that slack?

Hey, it could have been worse; he might have shown a mohel's knife!


whistle
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