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Subject: How many of us are single girl gamers? rss

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Sukunai Yori
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This is probably a massively bad idea question to be asking.

Might even be full of facepalm.

But I AM curious, to know, how many of us are stuck being gamer girls, and stuck being single at the same time.

I am still 'legally' married, but really, it is a matter of money eh. Neither of us has the cash to make it anything else.

So I have stopped wearing my totally pointless wedding ring. It's over after all. But I am kinda wishing I had at least an almost interested person on hand to game with.

I've been toying with the idea of investing in a few games, but, what's the point? Currently they would just suffice to remind me how alone I am currently. I'd be just inflating my 'stuff' to eventually pack up for moving if I get lucky enough to be able to move.

Those of you that are single, I suppose I am just wondering, how do you deal with it?

I used to do dinner and game get togethers with other friends that were couples. Just one of the long list of things I have lost I guess.
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Rue Sailmana
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I'm not single, but we live quite some distant apart (And my boyfriend is a lot less into gaming than I am), so I play a lot with local gamers that I know through a gaming club
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Jody Ludwick
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I'm not single, however, my boys are now grown and gone and I'm still fortunate enough to play an occasional 2-player game with my husband. Have you tried playing iOS games on iPad? Most of which have decent AIs.
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Julia
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Not single either, but often hubby is away for work. Sometimes I play with my sister, some others with my friend Cat, but most of the time I solo coop games, or play both sides in PvP games (chess, Doom, Descent, and so on)
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Kathy Sheets
United States
Stuart
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I am married and fortunate that hubby will play games with me when available but sometimes he works a lot and always they are 12 hour days or nights. I really got a boost in my gaming when I joined a game meet up. That dissolved but the core group started coming to my house for which I am so grateful.

I also like IOS gaming but have not been happy with solo board gaming (with the physical game.) I apparently haven't got the right personality and need an opponent, even if it's just an AI. I really like yucata.de and love gaming there with so many others from our forum. I even just recently have gone to boitajeux.net to play Castles of Burgundy and Alhambra!

It will take maybe quite awhile before you get used to your new single life. I always find it hard to adjust to even moving from one area to another and some moves it has taken nearly a year to feel like I am 'home'.

Also when I was very young I was divorced and looking back I can see that it took a long time to adjust to that. It is a big thing. Just be easy on yourself.

I just heard a discussion today about how 'calm' has replaced 'happy' in what people value most. There are so many stresses, most often relating to the word 'should' which just adds more stress to our lives. So instead redirect your thinking from 'I should have done this or that' to thinking of things in your life that you appreciate (like the idea behind a gratitude journal) and it will help you achieve calmness which equals happiness in most people by the time they are around 30. (Prior to that, usually happiness is more related to excitement.) Anyway, I thought it was interesting as a drama-free life has been my main goal for a long time. And I have to say that it has been very helpful in remaining a happy person despite the many things that have happened that were beyond my control.

I am sorry that I am off-topic here, but I hear your struggle and wish you peace and happiness in your new circumstances.
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Marja Erwin
United States
Fairfax
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I am single. I have a lot of sensory issues, and a lot of social-communication issues, and gaming was more interesting and more accessible than many other interests/hobbies. I have been having bad health problems, lately, so both gaming and romance/relationships seem out of reach.
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Julia
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Marja E wrote:
I am single. I have a lot of sensory issues, and a lot of social-communication issues, and gaming was more interesting and more accessible than many other interests/hobbies. I have been having bad health problems, lately, so both gaming and romance/relationships seem out of reach.

Feel free to talk to us, whenever you want, for how long as you wish, without problems.

Sorry for the tough period. Wish you health recovers soon
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Gregg Saruwatari
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Arroyo Grande
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I saw this on the main page, and even though it is in the women and gaming section, I wanted to comment. I am sorry your old couples friends do not make you feel comfortable to game with them anymore. My wife and I have one of my single buddies over every Monday evening to play games and have a blast three player. I think singles and couples can very successfully game together if they just put in the smallest of effort to be considerate and not bring social pressure into the game night. At my local meetup, there is a variety of singles, couples and families that have a blast together and even get together outside of the meetup.
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Julia
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GrimThunderbrew wrote:
I think singles and couples can very successfully game together


That's a very solid point. Especially because actually some games are so much better when played 3p. 4p could have too much downtime, 2p could not offer enough interactions, but 3p could really be the sweet spot.

One of our favourite moments of the week is when Cat passes by to play some games with us. She's single, and perfectly fine to play with us
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Jeff Simser
United States
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Not to step on the OP's post with a male perspective but you might try looking for a local gaming group or look for a local gaming store and inquire with them.

I'm lucky to have a great gaming store here in Northern Calif.. but even outside of that, there many gaming groups all over the place.

If you're looking for an all female gaming group, that might be a tougher battle.

Although I'm married, I feel divorced when it comes to gaming soblue

Good luck
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Sarah Brennick
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I am both single and a gamer...but I don't feel "stuck" or lonely. Both are a happy choice for me.

To echo what others have suggested, it might be worth it to poke around to see if you can find a local gaming meet-up, that way you could meet a wider variety of people to enjoy the hobby with.
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river tam
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My game group has mostly either single people or people who have a partner who is not very (or not at all) into gaming. There's only a couple couples where both people are really into gaming. Hopfully through meetup.com or yahoo groups you could find group that works for you.
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Ms Aura

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I am single!!!! Rare around here I know laugh I looked to meetup.com and found a gaming group that meet once a month on a Friday night. It was an awesome group with a family vibe. Those groups are tough. I ran into another local group but it was mostly married men and the vibe was so odd.

But anyway. Check there! Buy games as you wish. I will open it up and give a solo play to learn the game. I'm a visual learner. I do fear I have too many unplayed games so maybe just stick to a guideline. Buy one game you really want every few months or so. Just because your single with no gaming partner doesn't mean you have to suffer!!!

In the meantime I play games on iOS. Before I used to frequent yucata.de and that was fun!

Gaming might seem less fun without a partner but just adjust and learn new tricks or ways to enjoy your hobby! I hope things go well.
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Sukunai Yori
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Re gaming store. There is one, it is only a haven for table top miniatures sadly.

Re gaming groups, sadly half the groups I have been in over the years, were actually the creation of my own doing. But life is change, I think some of the gamers have not aged well

We have a college in town, not sure they are an ideal resource though. But until I check harder I suppose I can't say.

In the past the couples thing was mainly dinner and then social. But in the one case, well the wife of an old friend went kinda weird on me over something insignificant to the extreme, and poisoned that venue. The other couple moved out of town, so it is a distance problem there.

I know of two other couples, but they are doing the new parent game. I expect them to be preoccupied for at least 5 more years

I'm also still having troubles just being around married people all things considered (the separation etc etc etc) in some cases.
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Jacq L
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Catherine the Great wrote:
We have a college in town, not sure they are an ideal resource though. But until I check harder I suppose I can't say.
Colleges are a great place to find boardgamers! We're busy, but we still manage to meet once every few months for some gaming. We have a couple of beat up copies of Catan and other intro games in the lab, and are always trying to recruit new undergrads into the fold. My supervising professor even designs games as a hobby! (and has a handmade IPA Scrabble set).
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Nikola Adamus
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I'm single, it was hard some time ago, because I'm surrounded by happy couples. However, I haven't stopped meeting new people or just having fun. I'm also doing new things.

I understand that sometmes it is difficult to meet married people. But I've learned that they are my friends and I can be happy with them, even if looking at their happiness makes me sad sometimes.
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Mindy G
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Hi, single girl gamer here.

I'm part of a great group on meetup.com where I met all of my gamer friends, except one. Some of us game outside of the official meetups also now. We don't have a lot of couples in the group, tho there are a few. I was part of one for a little while, but we recently broke up, so that's been pretty hard and definitely can make the meetups a bit awkward and/or difficult.

I definitely can understand the difficulty about being around coupled people when you're in a space like you are (we are). Happy couples seem to be everywhere and it's easy to be envious of it and wonder why you haven't found that yet.
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Monica Elida Forssell
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I am a single gamer girl. No guys in sight, and my game group too far out of sight. It`s a lonely world.............

Dealing with it? I try not to. That just gets me down. Knowing that everyone around me have children, family, husbands and all, I start to wonder what is wrong with me.

Sorry, sore subject...blush
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Julia
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Elida wrote:
Dealing with it? I try not to. That just gets me down. Knowing that everyone around me have children, family, husbands and all, I start to wonder what is wrong with me.


You're a good friend, Monica, I always enjoy reading your posts and talking to you.

It could happen that nothing is wrong with us, but we are unlucky under certain aspects.

(hugs)
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Monica Elida Forssell
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Thanks, Julia! That really warms my heart.

I am getting used to being unlucky in love and unlucky in games. But it isn`t much fun. Having my appartment now, I probably should give it a new go to find a man. Summer is upon us, after all, in just a few months! Only I am not really the type to try for love. Got my heart stomped on too often, I guess...
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Julia
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Elida wrote:
Thanks, Julia! That really warms my heart.




Elida wrote:
I am getting used to being unlucky in love and unlucky in games. But it isn`t much fun. Having my appartment now, I probably should give it a new go to find a man. Summer is upon us, after all, in just a few months! Only I am not really the type to try for love. Got my heart stomped on too often, I guess...


Just be yourself. Showing without masks on our face how we are, what we love doing, what we think of life and death and environment and politics and everything, it's a good way to keep jerks or timewasters at bay

And come play on yucata.de (if you're not enrolled yet! I'm not there, but many lovely friends from this community are, and you'll certainly spend some quality time with them )
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Monica Elida Forssell
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Yes, I could try. I am more fond of tabletop games. Seeing I have moved in to an all new appartment complex there might be a possibility of getting to know people who would like to learn more about the gaming world.
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Julia
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Elida wrote:
Yes, I could try. I am more fond of tabletop games. Seeing I have moved in to an all new appartment complex there might be a possibility of getting to know people who would like to learn more about the gaming world.

Seems like a good option Fingers crossed then
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Dani Evans
United Kingdom
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I'm also single but I'm very lucky to have an active and friendly game group as well as friends that are keen gamers

It'd be nice to meet Mr Right but my life is pretty good right now so I'm not in any great hurry. Also, I'm kind of a b**** which makes meeting the right guy tricky
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Man on Fire
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Single gamer girls are treasures just waiting to be found.
UR special.
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