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Subject: Wording help on new gaming group rss

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Mr Juggles
United Kingdom
Prestatyn
Denbighshire
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The sweat in my t-shirt and dust in my shoes, reminds me that paradise is only a point of view.
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I'm thinking of starting a local boardgaming group in Prestatyn North Wales, I already go to an excellent one in Conwy that I will still go to (more gaming the better I say) and I was hoping to stick a few flyers around to see who may be interested. I just don't know how to word it without it sounding in anyway off putting and keeping it open to everyone.
I haven't found a venu but there's enough local pubs to go and sit in and one right down on the beach front which I think would be great to do.
Have a read what I've put and see what you think. I'd appreciate a bit of constructive criticism please.


Quote:
Have you tried boardgaming or do you fancy giving it a go? There’s a whole lot more choices of games out there other than Monopoly, Cluedo, UNO and that ilk.
There are games to challenge you mentally, games that are just good fun and a laugh to play and even games that take you to different places. You can either working against each other or even working together against the board it’s self. The games are great for getting groups of friends together and an excellent way to pass a free 30 minutes, an evening and even a whole day.
I am thinking about starting a new group up within Prestatyn every Wednesday. Currently there’s no venue chosen but I suspect it will work better, to start on a few tables in a local pub and when our numbers are up we can see if there is anywhere else that will fit.
This group is open to anyone and everyone of any age, don’t be shy and come along, you may well just be pleasantly surprised how much fin a board game can be.


I have also put on my contact details and was thinking of including a few basic images to put about it. Any ideas would be welcome.


 
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Micha Ghertner
United States
Georgia
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Quote:
Have you tried boardgaming [Do you enjoy board games] or do you fancy giving it [them] a go? There’s a whole lot more choices of [There are many other] games out there other than [besides] Monopoly, Cluedo, [and] UNO and that ilk. There are games to [that] challenge you mentally [your brain], games that are just good fun and a laugh to play [that make you laugh,] and even games that take you to different [far away] places. You can either working [compete] against each other or even working cooperate together [as a team] against the board it’s self [itself]. The [G]ames are great for getting groups of friends together [or meeting new ones,] and [they are] an excellent way to pass [spend] a free 30 [thirty] minutes, an evening, and [or] even a whole day.

I am thinking about starting a new group up within Prestatyn every Wednesday. Currently there’s no venue chosen but I suspect it will work better, to start on a few tables in a local pub and when our numbers are up we can see if there is anywhere else that will fit. [The group meets at a [name of local pub] in Prestatyn every Wednesday.] This group is open to anyone and everyone of any age[.] [D]on’t be shy - and come along, you may well just be pleasantly surprised how much fin [fun] a board game can be.
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Sam Phillips Beckerman
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Austin
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I think you might get a better response if you have a date and location for first meeting. Gives them something to respond to.

I agree with the previous edit -it's a poster, not a letter. You might say you'll bring a few of these games for both browsing and discussing.
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Mr Juggles
United Kingdom
Prestatyn
Denbighshire
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Cheers mghertner, like Sam said, I put too many words in, always. Whenever I write anything for colleagues at work they all know though I'll get the gist, they'll probably have to trim it somewhat.
I think what you've changed is spot on, thanks for doing that, I really appreciate it.
I just need to go find a place to gather now, that shouldn't be too hard.

mghertner wrote:
Quote:
Have you tried boardgaming [Do you enjoy board games] or do you fancy giving it [them] a go? There’s a whole lot more choices of [There are many other] games out there other than [besides] Monopoly, Cluedo, [and] UNO and that ilk. There are games to [that] challenge you mentally [your brain], games that are just good fun and a laugh to play [that make you laugh,] and even games that take you to different [far away] places. You can either working [compete] against each other or even working cooperate together [as a team] against the board it’s self [itself]. The [G]ames are great for getting groups of friends together [or meeting new ones,] and [they are] an excellent way to pass [spend] a free 30 [thirty] minutes, an evening, and [or] even a whole day.

I am thinking about starting a new group up within Prestatyn every Wednesday. Currently there’s no venue chosen but I suspect it will work better, to start on a few tables in a local pub and when our numbers are up we can see if there is anywhere else that will fit. [The group meets at a [name of local pub] in Prestatyn every Wednesday.] This group is open to anyone and everyone of any age[.] [D]on’t be shy - and come along, you may well just be pleasantly surprised how much fin [fun] a board game can be.

 
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