Tobias Strobe
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As denizens of the worst place on BGG, we have a right to proud of... whatever it is we do here. With that in mind, I have compiled a short list of my all-time favorite RSP threads. It was suggested in another thread that I construct a geek list, but that looks like a lot of work so I'm not going to.

Some of these threads are hilarious. Some are insane. Some of them are included for the sole purpose of making me look good.

This list has a heavy bias toward recent events. Not only has the quality improved over the last few years, it's also more difficult for me to locate older awesome threads without having to expend more effort. I'm sure I'm missing some greats, but I have limited time to devote to this half-assed project, and my heart is only partially in it, which makes it a quarter-assed endeavor at best.


Anyway, here's the list:

~ Father defends Stanford student son convicted of sexual assault ~
https://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1587030/father-defends-...


she2 wrote:
Okay, but it's time for Tobias to call this a classic at least due to the Swedish midnight biking perverts, cardigan wearing lurid women, and special "leaving the party with someone" consent for sex while unconsious trope.


What makes this thread an All-Star?: Rape threads bring out the best in people.

Really. Regardless of political affiliation, most posters in threads that focus on the crime of rape are pretty on-point. Most are respectful. Most are compassionate. Most try to keep nationalism, fashion choices, the oddness of certain late night travel options, and the relative romance levels of dumpsters out of the discussion. Most try to stay within the bounds of human, or at least mammal, decency.

Most do this. Most.

Enter the serial logic master. The language cop. The rational paragon. Mansplainer Rex. This is the person who demands... DEMANDS... that while it good and right to be upset that someone essentially got away with violent sexual assault behind a dumpster, it's even more important that we understand that the assaulted woman might've embellished some details. Oh, it's also important that we don't call the guy a rapist, because it was only his fingers, and fingers don't rape. Of course it's also good to notice that the dumpster in question was actually a fairly nice dumpster and not the dumpster you would normally associate with dumpster rape scenes. We cannot understand this case unless we have an aerial photo of the dumpster in question. If it's a pretty comfortable location for a violent rape then we shouldn't be talking about it like it was that scene from The Accused.

Oh, and it's super important that we remember false rape accusations happen. DUKE LACROSSE, GUYS. They're not saying this accusation is false, just that women lie... and ya know. DUKE LACROSSE. It happens. Stop saying it doesn't.

Clearly though, the most important and delicious part of this thread, beyond the rape apology and disgusting bullshit expressed by resident misogynist lunatic Gary (I'm not saying she's lying I'm just saying she's a filthy slut) Garison, was the bicycle angle.

Enthusiastic White Supremacist Jeremy Cobert asks: Who rides a bike after midnight? Who? WHY? Justify this angle of the story. It's so ODD.

Even though many people answer his retarded question, Enthusiastic White Supremacist Jeremy Cobert stands unsatisfied. The questions continue. They are restated over and over and over. Why would a person ride a bike after midnight? Why would a person... A SWEDE OF ALL THINGS... ride a bike after midnight. It doesn't make any sense. They're riding bicycles, in LIBERAL CALIFORNIA, after midnight. What the fuck? It's impossible to comprehend. Rape or no rape (and, to be sure, he believes there was no rape), this puzzle must be solved.

See? That's why rape threads are important, and this one is especially powerful. They might not answer important questions about governance, the afterlife, or currency options, but they do help us identify who among us is more concerned with appearing clever than with appearing human.




What makes this thread an All-Star?:
robininni wrote:
Oh, wait, you believe that 3 steel constructed towers collapsed from fires? The only 3 in history to do so all on the same day, one not even hit by a plane? There may be no hope for you.


What started as a fairly dull thread of conflicts between the Far Right Common Sense Brigade for Freedom and The Rest of the World ended as a shitfest of Infowars proportions. Congratulations RSP. 14 years after the fact, you finally acquired a 9/11 truther, and it is glorious.

BJ trolls the hell out of the dude, hubris gets the better of some who attempt to talk sense to the truther, and many yuks were extracted.

That's not why this thread is a classic, though.

What makes this thread special is that the nutcase ISN'T A SOCKPUPPET. In an era when RSP is crushed under the weight of bullshit nazis, bullshit MRA glops, and bullshit Barbs, we actually have a real user with real stupid beliefs who we get to make real fun of. Honesty is a precious thing, and when it can be coupled with seething contempt you have no choice other than savoring its rich broth.

Sip, RSP. Delight in this salty and enduring stupidity.



~ Texas strikes again. This time clock != bomb ~
https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1436828/texas-strikes-again...


What makes this thread an All-Star?:
she2 wrote:
This thread has it all. Police apologists, conspiracy nutjobs, neo-Nazis, one true Christianing/tstone dissection, and I believe cake even got mentioned.


RSP. Summer, 2015. We have inane bellyaching from put-upon Christians. Everything that can be in any way connected to President Obama is met with hilarious conspiracy theories. We have a group of people who will take the side of police in every matter that involves a brown person getting arrested/beat/murdered. We have the sorrowful distant cry that capitalism is to blame. And, of course, we have the eternal lament of the baker who will be forced to provide gay people with services.

This is the ultimate monument to the RSP mid-2015 zeitgeist. Here, in these insane pages, you will find everything that made RSP what it was at that point in time. There's even that special twist that brings it all together...

While white supremacy is frequently used as a spice in order to liven up RSP 'disagreements', it is rarely given a plate of its own. On this rare occasion overt love of the crooked cross is served as a main course. That, combined with everything that makes RSP discourse so special, provides a memorable prix fixe of social retardation.



~ Prophetic Message For Those Who Live In Major U.S Cities, especially California and Missouri (Urgent!) ~
https://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1138512/prophetic-messa...


Submitted by GameCrossing:

What makes this thread an All-Star?: An outsider crank visits RSP and gives us the lowdown on future real estate developments, courtesy of Yahweh. There's some funny supplied by RSP regulars before local crank Shreve bores up the thread with dire warnings of dominionist conspiracies and some other garbage I couldn't be bothered to read.

The thread goes ass over teakettle on page 7. Shreve unravels his craziest sweater and ends up laying down a legendary ultimatum. The whole freaky nightmare is worth a read (other than his posts, of course).





What makes this thread an All-Star?: I lose my shit and start calling another poster a liar. People check my behavior, but I stick to it and and establish myself as a fairly strong dickhead. At the time I thought that I was doing this community a service as the guy who will keep people honest, but that was simply puffery.

Anyway, it has some good vitriol in it, so I highly recommend you give it a read.



~ Bitcoin Will Change The Economy World* Forever ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1113636/bitcoin-will-change-...

*title changed to be more grandiose by OP on 6/22/14

What makes this thread an All-Star?: Nearly 100 pages long and still going strong, LightRider's bold predictions concerning the death of money keeps people coming back. There's some staggering hyperbole in this thread, so even though it does have around 50 pages of worthless drivel, it's worth revisiting from time to time.

The best thing about this thread is that it's history in the making, and shows no signs of slowing. 150 pages, here we come!



~ Sorry we called you racists, Tea Party! ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1053730/sorry-we-called-you-...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: While the rift between RSP conservatives had been forming for some time, this is the thread that brought it all home for me. GameCrossing's epic feud with Drew finally reaches the boiling point here, and then poor Junior enters the conservative Salon des Refusés with longtime resident Darilian.



~ i should not get suspended for saying that spanish class is gay ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/531825/i-should-not-get-susp...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: The first post. It's amazing. It still makes me laugh years later.



~ Rape Fantasies and other Sexual "Oddities" ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/934173/rape-fantasies-and-ot...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: Simple. David desJardins going completely ham right out of the gate and suggesting the OP should be in prison. Tripp regulates David on page 2, but he's not out, and he eventually delivers this INSTANT CLASSIC:

DaviddesJ wrote:
jageroxorz wrote:
Do you think bdsm should be illegal?


Depends what you mean. "BDSM" could describe anything from velvet handcuffs to torturing people to death.


Good game, Dave.



~ Speaking of "secession", I get to teach those Rebels a lesson this summer. ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1104817/speaking-of-secessio...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: After many years of posting, Starship Shreve finally achieves Warp 9. This thread has EVERYTHING, generic Shreve condemnations of Neo-Confederates, accusations of the mishandling of nuclear weapons (now deleted), the uncovering of "Exploiters", something about Chakras, Ebert reviews of sexually explicit films, some grade A trolling (by me, natch), and references to the second Planet of the Apes movie.

It's out of control by the end of the first page, and it only gets better. That thread earned THREE MICHELIN STARS, which is almost unheard of!


~ The Lord Jesus' Sincere Plea To California and Call To Repentance Before It's Too Late ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1153567/the-lord-jesus-since...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: This is a cheat, because all threads posted by Mark Chen are golden. What does make this a little different is that more people are interacting with him, and hilarity ensues.



~ Whatever thread introduced the Tripp Postulate ~
...please help me with this one, I don't know where it started...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: History. Context. If you're unclear on what the Tripp Postulate is, here's my favorite version of it straight from the man himself:

DWTripp wrote:
I cleared this whole mystery of Limbaugh's success ... Right here in RSP. His listening audience is comprised of all the 19.999 million liberals in America, ears glued to the radio in search of today's dose of false outrage and about 1200 hired call-in actors dispersed through out the nation whose job it is to call him on a rotating basis and ask scripted questions while saying "mega-dittos" at the right spot in the script.

In short, he made his bucks because you all listen. The rest of us have better things to do. How's that Sleep Number bed working out for you? Is it comfy while you're reading your Goldline investment brochures?"


Legitimately great stuff. Funny, topical, and it includes (at least) a nugget of truth.





What makes this thread an All-Star?: Pull. The vortex on this thread was so strong we brought in some new posters from the more austere corners of the Geek. It even resembled a real discussion for a while, where some people might've actually learned something.

It also contains my most-thumbed post. This is super important because I'm writing this list.





What makes this thread an All-Star?: Intensity. It's also another turning point for the RSP crew, as identity politics drives people crazy. I get defensive and nasty (misreading a BJ joke as a serious thing still makes me cringe), Tripp gets piled on, Darilian gets snooty, Jay makes some jokes, some people are reasonable while others just start punching. This thread was RSP at its pure and syrupy best.


~ The thread where I called BagpipeDan "fat" ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/429699/ann-coulter-is-she-st...


What makes this thread an All-Star?: It was completely out of school, dumb, tasteless, and juvenile. We were arguing about a translation of Thucydides and then I dropped the "f-bomb". It had nothing to do with anything, but I did it anyway. A great intro to my RSP career.

There's also a bit where I send an email to Dar's classics teacher at WSU to get his take on the issue, and post his response. One wonders if I would've posted it if he didn't support my claim (probably not). That style of outside-the-box internet is why I earn the huge accolades and get all the ladies.



~ Blocked from TheDiceTower for asking Tom to wish people "Happy Holidays"? ~
http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/899794/blocked-from-thedicet...


Submitted by 'Bastet08'.

What makes this thread an All-Star?: Harmony. This is one of the rare cases where, in the spirit of the holidays, RSP regulars all forget their differences, join hands, and obliterate some dude who is deeply offended that other people aren't deeply offended when others are kind to them. Pro-Bowl game reviewer Tom Vasel is put on blast by self proclaimed "God" Stefan Lopuszanski, who is then bodied by every living thing for 31 pages. Hilarious and touching.

God bless us, everyone.




Submitted by 'djgutierrez77'.

What makes this thread an All-Star?: It plays the meta. This is a 'one man show' thread, similar to the similar to the Bitcoin act but more focused. User and regular Dave G erupts into a flurry of in-jokes and impressions that few outsiders would understand. Many of us have gone for the occasional mocking impression, but Dave digs deep and delivers an astounding amount of content in a short period of time.

So, it's funny, but is funny enough? Well, take a look at the time stamps below the entries, and then you'll see why this is a classic thread. Mon Jul 2, 2012 3:19 pm - 4:18 pm delivered an amazing amount of quality content.



What makes this thread an All-Star?: Queen talk. We have your standard political thread, with Koldfoot making bizarre assertions about something. When he is challenged by other members sporting hyperlinks, he goes OG and plays the shut up, homo card. There's some blowback, and then the thread really kicks into high gear.

We have silly threats, a ghost from Koldie's past, animated gifs of Tyra Banks, MS-Paint manips mistaken for Photoshop, appeals to stop the "evil" in RSP, and wild accusations of posters engaging in "queen talk". The entire thing gets so shockingly funny I almost completely surrender control of my bodily functions.


This thread will continue to be updated as more material is created/exhumed.
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Re: RSP Classics
Pin this thread.
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Re: RSP Classics
What I've learned from this is that I apparently don't post in any of the good threads.
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Re: RSP Classics
Thanks for ruining my schedule for the next couple days. So much reading to do.
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Re: RSP Classics
Did any of my threads make the crazy cut?
 
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Re: RSP Classics
bjlillo wrote:
Good stuff in there. My personal favorite is Romney Obama in a dead heat. That's the thread where I tried to actually match James blow for blow in a crazy-off. Quozl got criticized for writing too much, and the paternity of Dave's alleged child was questioned. Good stuff all around. Oh, many of us also changed our names to have "Willard" or "Hussein" in them after that and I was inspired to grab Uncle Jesse as my avatar.


Is that Uncle Jesse? I always figured it was what you really looked like.
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Re: RSP Classics
whac3 wrote:
Did any of my threads make the crazy cut?


If I were writing the list I would have included that weird thing about .001 accuracy, but looking back at it it's not really that interesting.
 
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Re: RSP Classics
Sutehk wrote:
bjlillo wrote:
Good stuff in there. My personal favorite is Romney Obama in a dead heat. That's the thread where I tried to actually match James blow for blow in a crazy-off. Quozl got criticized for writing too much, and the paternity of Dave's alleged child was questioned. Good stuff all around. Oh, many of us also changed our names to have "Willard" or "Hussein" in them after that and I was inspired to grab Uncle Jesse as my avatar.


Is that Uncle Jesse? I always figured it was what you really looked like.

You think he's fit to be seen?
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Re: RSP Classics
bjlillo wrote:
Good stuff in there. My personal favorite is Romney Obama in a dead heat. That's the thread where I tried to actually match James blow for blow in a crazy-off. Quozl got criticized for writing too much, and the paternity of Dave's alleged child was questioned. Good stuff all around. Oh, many of us also changed our names to have "Willard" or "Hussein" in them after that and I was inspired to grab Uncle Jesse as my avatar.


GREAT thread. A real classic of insane politics, pop cultural references, walls of text, linked dish-washing liquid commercials from the 70s, and korean food.

The best part is Shreve's batfuck post about an imagined conversation with the Romney family and Betty White. Everyone who responded after that has nerves of steel.

bjlillo wrote:
I was pretty shocked at the reactions I got back then. I honestly thought that was a pretty obvious joke. You and Chad apparently did not appreciate it so much though. Oh well, not the first joke I've told which bombed and irritated people. Won't be the last either.

In retrospect, it was obvious and funny. At the time, I was too jacked up and defensive to read for context.
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Re: RSP Classics
we should appoint Ilthuain docent of the RSP classics library.
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Re: RSP Classics
That's one masterclass of spinning shit into gold

I must have missed the Spanish class thread. This one was well worth it on its own.
 
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Re: RSP Classics
I kind of liked this masterpiece started by our long-lost "buddy" em gee

"Racist reality"

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1024224/racist-reality/p...

Includes the premise that:

Quote:
"White people get sunburnt faster."
1) this is a racist statement
2) it is true.
To disagree with this racist statement is to deny reality.
So, do you accept you are racist?
Or do you deny reality?


Somewhere around page 4, we get to how food is racist, how to tip someone 0.0 GG, Dave inviting Drew to his "luv room", barfing humping dogs (of course)...

Em Gee deleting his account should have made it harder to follow and yet....

Oh missed this gem:
Quote:

One security guard, one black kid.
Which one has skittles?


And the fact the dogs got set to music.
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Re: RSP Classics
she2 wrote:
I kind of liked this masterpiece started by our long-lost "buddy" em gee

"Racist reality"

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1024224/racist-reality/p...

Includes the premise that:

Quote:
"White people get sunburnt faster."
1) this is a racist statement
2) it is true.
To disagree with this racist statement is to deny reality.
So, do you accept you are racist?
Or do you deny reality?


Somewhere around page 4, we get to how food is racist, how to tip someone 0.0 GG, Dave inviting Drew to his "luv room", barfing humping dogs (of course)...

Em Gee deleting his account should have made it harder to follow and yet....


Oh man, I just had a genuine LOL event at work rediscovering the barfing, humping dogs juxtaposition.
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Re: RSP Classics
The Bazooka Joe strip was pretty much my finest work.
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Re: RSP Classics
This one makes me sad because TheLightSarcastic deleted her account.
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Re: RSP Classics
NOT RSP, but I'm rather partial to this thread.

It's rather effluvia-obsessed. Think of it as Clerks, but with software engineers.
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Re: RSP Classics
Your science has no truth - a philosophical discussion

mdp4828 wrote:
colleens wrote:

So I challenge you, explain why science has truth (big T Truth) without using the word in the definition.


Truth should be reserved for logic and mathematics where things can be true by definition. Science is a method by which we increase the correspondence between what we think reality is and what reality actually is. It may be that we can never achieve 100% correspondence, though it does seem that we can get pretty close in some limited areas.
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Re: RSP Classics
Reserved for future classics.
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Re: RSP Classics
While I'm really enjoying this reminder of some past...uhhh...'discussions', I do worry about where we go from here. I mean...

Ilthuain wrote:
The best part is Shreve's batfuck post about [something]. Everyone who responded after that has nerves of steel.


You'll forgive the 'FTFY', I hope, but it describes a trend in a few of these threads. He's definitely taking over the crazy 'round these parts! Between him and Jeremy, the regular crazy just pales in comparison...
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Re: RSP Classics
Ilthuain wrote:


What makes this thread an All-Star?: I lose my shit and start calling another poster a liar. People check my behavior, but I stick to it and and establish myself as a fairly strong dickhead.


but you were right...
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Re: RSP Classics
Asur wrote:
Ilthuain wrote:


What makes this thread an All-Star?: I lose my shit and start calling another poster a liar. People check my behavior, but I stick to it and and establish myself as a fairly strong dickhead.


but you were right...


Sure, I was also right in the Bagpipe Dan is Fat thread (except the "fat" thing. I was right about Alcibiades). That doesn't mean I wasn't also a dickhead. It's not like I regret what I did or said... it made for an entertaining thread.
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Re: RSP Classics
With the way this one is headed http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1179781/any-modern-jewish-vi... , I think we may just have another classic brewing. The thread even has a Trippy anecdote.
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Re: RSP Classics
Ilthuain wrote:

Well, that all I have time for now. What are some of your favorites?

I was always a fan of that thread where Quozl said he would gleefully murder babies (or something like that) if God told him to.

edit: here it is!
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Re: RSP Classics
spoon wrote:
Ilthuain wrote:

Well, that all I have time for now. What are some of your favorites?

I was always a fan of that thread where Quozl said he would gleefully murder babies (or something like that) if God told him to.

edit: here it is!

I think "gleefully" is very much your own addition.
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Re: RSP Classics
whac3 wrote:
spoon wrote:
Ilthuain wrote:

Well, that all I have time for now. What are some of your favorites?

I was always a fan of that thread where Quozl said he would gleefully murder babies (or something like that) if God told him to.

edit: here it is!

I think "gleefully" is very much your own addition.

Ya think? Can't get nothin' by you!
 
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