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Subject: What makes an artist? rss

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Chris Tannhauser
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My demi-daughter teaches studio art to little kids in an after-school program; you would think this would require a deep appreciation for the entire sweep of humans-wiping-poop-on-things, but you'd be wrong. She reviles anything that happened after 1899... while I rightly consider anything before 1915 to be mere decoration.

As she was going out the door this morning I offered a lesson plan for the day:

1) Start the kids off with a shot of cough syrup.

2) Create a Lord of the Flies situation with scheming leaders, hapless followers, arbitrary rules and outrageous punishments: arm punching, head squeezing, and the deep dark of the Monster Closet.

3) Instead of cookies & juice, the ones who begin to fail out of the bottom of this micro-society get crayons.

Great Art is sure to follow!
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Boaty McBoatface
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hat the hell is a demi-daughter, and are they legal in Utah?
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Ed Holzman
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As grey traces of dawn tinge the eastern sky, the three travellers, men of Willowdale, emerge from the forest's shadow. Fording the river, they turn south, journeying into the dark and forbidding lands of The Necromancer...
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In all seriousness (which is seriously out of place in a HiveGod thread, I know), to be an artist all you need is an audience. Even an audience of one, or the One. Go create some art.
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Richard Hedke
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HiveGod wrote:

As she was going out the door this morning I offered a lesson plan for the day:

1) Start the kids off with a shot of laudanum.

2) Create a Lord of the Flies situation with scheming leaders, hapless followers, arbitrary rules and outrageous punishments: arm punching, head squeezing, and the deep dark of the Monster Closet.

3) Instead of cookies & juice, the ones who begin to fail out of the bottom of this micro-society get crayons.

Great Art is sure to follow!


Minor tweak.
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Ed Holzman
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As grey traces of dawn tinge the eastern sky, the three travellers, men of Willowdale, emerge from the forest's shadow. Fording the river, they turn south, journeying into the dark and forbidding lands of The Necromancer...
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bismarck1871 wrote:
HiveGod wrote:

As she was going out the door this morning I offered a lesson plan for the day:

1) Start the kids off with a shot of laudanum.

2) Create a Lord of the Flies situation with scheming leaders, hapless followers, arbitrary rules and outrageous punishments: arm punching, head squeezing, and the deep dark of the Monster Closet.

3) Instead of cookies & juice, the ones who begin to fail out of the bottom of this micro-society get crayons.

Great Art is sure to follow!


Minor tweak.

Laudanum, sure, but absinthe would be easier to obtain.
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Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump
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Bearcat89 wrote:
bismarck1871 wrote:
HiveGod wrote:

As she was going out the door this morning I offered a lesson plan for the day:

1) Start the kids off with a shot of laudanum.

2) Create a Lord of the Flies situation with scheming leaders, hapless followers, arbitrary rules and outrageous punishments: arm punching, head squeezing, and the deep dark of the Monster Closet.

3) Instead of cookies & juice, the ones who begin to fail out of the bottom of this micro-society get crayons.

Great Art is sure to follow!


Minor tweak.

Laudanum, sure, but absinthe would be easier to obtain.


You guys are so 19th century

Obviously, Ritalin would be the drug of choice for this day and age


Edit: On second thought, I think cough syrup is about right - numerous level-headed stories from local news sources have informed me that literally all schoolkids these days are tripping balls on cough syrup through roughly 90% of their waking hours

Of course, that means that they've got a bit of a tolerance, so you may also need to toss in about a dozen Benadryl per kid to achieve the desired results
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Michael Hopcroft
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I've often said "If you think you're an artist, you're not."
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1 Lucky Texan
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this time of year? Should be easy enough to find healthily growing Datura.

After ingesting, any survivors should be able to turn out FABULOUS work!
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Ed Holzman
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As grey traces of dawn tinge the eastern sky, the three travellers, men of Willowdale, emerge from the forest's shadow. Fording the river, they turn south, journeying into the dark and forbidding lands of The Necromancer...
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Maybe some Malcolm X Tea to start off the day?
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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An artist is one part talent but a bigger part salesman.

Case in point: Voice of Fire



Bought for National Gallery of Canada in Ottawa, for its permanent collection in 1989, at a cost of $1.8 million.

I've seen it in person. It is not that impressive.
Probably the most common sentence I heard spoken in the room was either, "I could have done that!" or "My six year-old could have done that!"

I just marvel at the sales job that the artist (or their agent) did, however. $1.8 million for that? And they bought it? Good on you, I say.
If you can convince a group of people that your painting is that valuable then you earned your dough.

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1 Lucky Texan
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it's easy to spend $1.8 million of someone Else's money.
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Xander Fulton
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MABBY wrote:
An artist is one part talent but a bigger part salesman.

Case in point: Voice of Fire



Bought for National Gallery of Canada in Ottawa, for its permanent collection in 1989, at a cost of $1.8 million.

I've seen it in person. It is not that impressive.
Probably the most common sentence I heard spoken in the room was either, "I could have done that!" or "My six year-old could have done that!"

I just marvel at the sales job that the artist (or their agent) did, however. $1.8 million for that? And they bought it? Good on you, I say.
If you can convince a group of people that your painting is that valuable then you earned your dough.



Yeah, pretty much all of the 'abstract expressionist' stuff is, I think anyone but an art snob would agree, crap.

Which isn't to say the ARTISTS are bad - the local museum had a show on Mark Rothko a year or so back, and some of his earlier paintings are really remarkably evocative. But these blobs of colors are just not...interesting.

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Chris Tannhauser
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MABBY wrote:

NEEDS MORE COUGH SYRUP
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pronoblem baalberith
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MABBY wrote:
"I could have done that!" or "My six year-old could have done that!"


Which is not true else everyone would done that.
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1 Lucky Texan
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pronoblem wrote:
MABBY wrote:
"I could have done that!" or "My six year-old could have done that!"


Which is not true else everyone would done that.


well, perhaps it would never occur to an 'intelligent' 6 year old to 'do that' as; it appears way too easy, and, since it is non-representational, unnecessary to 'do that'.

however, as George Carlin once said, someone can take 2 things that have never been nailed together - nail them together - and some other person will buy it. Like, a gasoline-powered turtle-neck sweater.
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pronoblem baalberith
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toku42 wrote:
You guys are so 19th century

Obviously, Ritalin would be the drug of choice for this day and age


I would say 2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine or DOM, or STP... its pretty hip right now. (RIP Dr. Alexander Shulgin)

toku42 wrote:
Edit: On second thought, I think cough syrup is about right -


PROTIP: DXM (Dextromethorphan) is available in gel tabs over the counter without any other active ingredients. I do not recommend it, but if you must, it's the syrup that is worse for you than the DXM.
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