Recommend
23 
 Thumb up
 Hide
50 Posts
1 , 2  Next »   | 

BoardGameGeek» Forums » Everything Else » Religion, Sex, and Politics

Subject: Take that, you stupid dirt! rss

Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: [View All]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Recently, there has been a reorganization of some of the leadership in our ward at church. The elder's quorum (the men's group, but the younger half of it) got rearranged. And it seems that means activities will take on a different theme than usual.

"Hey guys, let's go shoot some guns."

So, looking back at it, I haven't held a gun in nearly thirty years. Scout camp, so it probably wasn't even a real gun. It was probably just an air rifle or something wussy like that. I really have no interest in guns. They serve a purpose, they just don't serve my purpose, which is to primarily stay indoors as much as possible. And I suck at drywall patching, so... no guns.

But I am writing a book* and one thing I knew I wanted was to hear a pistol with a silencer. Not the TV version, but an actual one. I still wasn't convinced. Then my wife said that some out-of-town family was coming and we were gonna do an impromptu family reunion in our backyard. So I made the potato salad for the shindig and then headed out to do me some shootin'.

First thing I learned: guns are like tattoos. Some people may be able to get away with just one, but not if they are the type to show them off. Good night on a stick, these people had tons of weapons. It was crazy. I found myself wondering "So if someone tries to get into your home and deny your freedom, just how dead do you need to make them in order to prove your point?" A fine red mist would be all that was left of someone by the time one of everything was fired at some poor would-be intruder.

Second thing I learned: if something ever goes down, I live in the right cul de sac. Three of the guys there all had weapons strapped under their shirts. Conversations started about conceal carry permits. It was freaky to me. I mean, I knew about them in the abstract, but there I was where 30% of the population in my immediate vicinity had them, and another one said he didn't bother concealing because he knew he was heading to the range. And they all live in my cul de sac. Only problem is I'm at the mouth of the cul de sac. Now I wish I were at the back so the zombie hordes or Mad Max wasteland biker gangs had to get through their gauntlet to get to me, but it's better than nothing, I suppose.

Third thing I learned: It seems counterproductive to have a church social with an event that required ear protection. Not much socialness. Or maybe that was just me.

Targets were already set up and Rich singled out the two of the ten of us who were just milling about and not setting up shop and unpackin' what we were packin'. I go to fire ten rounds with a .308 semi-automatic rifle with a double action trigger**. At this point, I went through every sniper movie I could think of and took my cues from that. "Exhale, hold it, then fire." Okay... I can do that. "Squeeze the trigger, don't pull." Or was it "Pull, don't squeeze?" Either way, what the hell is the difference? What is a squeeze and what is a pull? Oh well. I line up my sight, switch off the safety, and fire a round. I can't see the target well enough to tell if I hit it or not and nobody had a scope out to tell me, so I just figured I'd exhale again and fire again.

But then I feel someone dropping stuff on me. This is what I was afraid of... the "good natured ribbing" that comes with testosterone-laden camaraderie. I let it go, try to refocus, but once again I feel someone dropping something on the back of my legs to break my concentration. I turn around and look to see who i hazing the new guy. Turns out it wasn't a hazing. It was some guy about twenty feet over with a really big, really fast-shooting rifle, and he's having fun emptying the clip. And the brass is all taking this leisurely arc through the air, landing right next to me, and hitting me on the bounce. Just about every round. I was catching his brass with my thighs***.

So after a few bemused moments of letting that happen until his clip is empty, I resume shooting. After about round five, I realize I am closing my eyes every time I am pulling the trigger. I'm pretty sure that impedes my accuracy in some fashion or another. So once I recognize I am doing that, I force myself to stop and I just may have improved. Retrieved my target, and all ten rounds hit the target. Most of them low and to the right, but one actually dead center.

I am a marksman.

So I go back to milling about and watching everyone else empty clips from weapons of varying size, none of them really caring whether they hit anything with any accuracy. They were just there to go BANG BANG BANG!!! One guy brought some shotguns and a skeet trap. So I got talked into that. I took three shots and after each one, the guy whose gun I borrowed told me where I missed it. "Way high" or "behind to the left." How the hell could he tell? Does he have super-secret super-powers of super-small-pellet-tracking vision? He tried telling me something about following the wad after I had shot****, but I just couldn't see it. Without feedback on how well I was doing, I gave up on that.

So then came the suppressor. That was actually pretty cool. With the ear protection off, I was bracing myself for something fairly loud but not deafening. Almost nothing. Just a small "crack" followed by sound like someone spitting a watermelon seed. It was remarkable how well that worked. I talked with Kelly later and thanked him for bringing me that, and he showed me just what a gun nut he was. A MASSIVE lecture on the history of silencers and the law, he broke it down so I could see the baffles in the chamber, he went on and on about a silencer. It was both fascinating and awkward. But I figured if I can geek out on board games and fantasy football, I can give someone the courtesy of listening about how in many foreign countries suppressors are required for hearing protection. Like I said, fascinating... but I still didn't need to know more about it than just the sound it made.

Then came the first of the moments. "Hey, why don't we get everyone to line up, and we all just empty a clip or two as fast as we can, like a shootout?" Yahoo-ism. And it was when I first realized I wasn't really enjoying myself. I had a .22 Ruger while everyone else went with semi-auto rifles and I realized that I simply didn't have the comfort level with these to "let go." I was holding a tool whose purpose was to cause a lot of damage to whatever I aimed it at and I was very aware of that. I couldn't switch that awareness off and just enjoy emptying a clip for the hell of it. I mean, I did, but the whole time it's a combination of "I am holding a very dangerous tool" and "I really don't fit in with this good ol' boy" gang. It finished with the guy suggesting it screaming "Can you feel the testosterone?!?!" And honestly, no, I couldn't. At least not first-hand. I was aware of testosterone in the way I am aware of it when someone drives by in their lifted truck with their windows rolled down and the bass on their stereo maxxed out.

Next someone else offered me a chance to shoot their .38 revolver. Okay, let's try this. He showed me about the hammer and whatnot, showed me the spinny chamber part, told me how it could also take .357 ammo but that the kick would be more than I'd like. I asked him where the safety was so I could turn it off and start shooting when I was ready. "There is no safety."

Those four words freaked me the taquito-fuck out.

I found I was holding the gun with two hands pointed at the sky while I walked over to take aim at a target. I tried leveling the gun to the target with my finger off the trigger, but I couldn't get it to work right. I couldn't keep the finger off the trigger, level the gun, then put the finger on the trigger.

"There is no safety."

There is no chance of me hitting anyone. I'm on the end of the row, I have the last target, my back is to everyone, but I am still fumbling with this weapon.

"There is no safety."

I finally get it sorted out. Level the gun, aim, squeeze (or pull, who the hell knows) the trigger. Then again. And again. Six rounds fired. I handed the gun back to the owner, happy to have it out of my hand.

"There is no safety."

I still am worried that I handed it back wrong. I know I fired six rounds, so I know it was empty, but what if....

"There is no safety."

I seriously cannot convey just how freaked out those words made me.

So I am now even more keenly aware of how much I'm not really enjoying myself, but I am trying to force it. So I figure I'll take the .22 Ruger and see how I do with a pistol. After all, I shredded the target with the rifle. And the pistol should be easier to control, what with it being smaller and lighter and all. So everyone is at the other end firing some form of legal artillery at a bush that didn't do anything to anybody a few hundred yards away up on a hill and I am by myself taking aim with a piddly little undersized tool designed to kill or wound whatever living thing it is pointed at. I squeeze off nine rounds, find the range is clear for me to check my target, and it has all sorts of holes in it.

Dude, I am aces.

But are those holes mine? I mean, the holes look bigger than what I suspect my tiny gun is supposed to make. So now I have doubts, meaning I have to try again. Clean target, one I staple up myself. Nine more shots. And still a clean target. Ummmm.....

Let me load another clip. Nine more shots. Nine more blemish-free spots where there should be holes.

But nobody was watching. By that time, one of the guys was setting up a grill and putting on burgers and putting out a vegetable tray*****. So I tuck the gun back, thank the guy who loaned it to me, and prepare to slink off home ahead of everyone else. But then it came... yahoo-ism moment number two.

"Okay, everyone grab a gun, we're taking a group picture."

THIS is the stereotype I have in my mind of gun aficionados. Each of them grabbed the biggest gun they could find. Some of them grabbed two. It's like the gun symbolized something, but I couldn't put my finger on what that would be******. I felt embarrassed to be in the photo, partially because of the guilt-by-association with the yahoo crowd, but mostly because I was afraid that my lack of enjoyment at the event would be immortalized for all to see.

I grabbed a burger and some of the taboo vegetables and thanked my neighbor for setting this up. He asked me if I had a great time. I explained I was too wrapped up in my awareness of the damage a gun could do and not being familiar or comfortable enough with them to let go of that awareness, but he wouldn't take "No" for an answer. Or even a qualified "It wasn't unenjoyable." I was roundly informed that I would be doing this again with him sometime soon. I thought of telling him it would happen after he attends one of my game night open houses... but I felt that just because I wasn't having the time of my life was no excuse to rain molten brass and lead on someone else's parade.


So, this was the gun-firing experience of a non-gun owner. And pretty much... nothing changed for me. I still have no desire to own one because I don't want to go through the hassle it would take to become competent with one. But I don't begrudge anyone else who owns them. It just will never be me. But then, I don't fear the gubmint, so I guess I don't need one.

Or eleven.











* How many years must pass between when I last wrote and when I must stop saying "I am writing a book?"
** ... he said as if he knew what the hell any of that meant.
*** Sounds dirty, but it isn't.
**** Also not dirty, but I am not as sure as about this as I was the last one.
***** Are vegetable trays allowed at shooting ranges? Was this a breach of etiquette? Which takes precedent in this case, the shooting or the fact it was a church function?
****** Yes, that one -was- dirty. Sort of. Ish. At least moreso than *** or ****.
53 
 Thumb up
5.05
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
guns are like tattoos. Some people may be able to get away with just one, but not if they are the type to show them off.

I hope that line is in the book.
13 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
* How many years must pass between when I last wrote and when I must stop saying "I am writing a book?"

You clearly said your interest in shooting was research, and research is an essential part of the writing process. So you are actively writing a book, and are therefore entitled to say so.
17 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Brian
United States
Virginia
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Thanks for sharing. Was pretty neat story. Good luck with your book!
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
John James
United States
Waterbury
Connecticut
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
H'ha, good stuff laugh
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
kuhrusty wrote:
GameCrossing wrote:
guns are like tattoos. Some people may be able to get away with just one, but not if they are the type to show them off.

I hope that line is in the book.


It wasn't, but it will now.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Josh
United States
flag msg tools
Heart full of soul, head full of shit
badge
Snob of the People
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
So, the elders are younger.

Got it.

Thanks for the post. It was enjoyable.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
bjlillo wrote:
Yep, definitely a lefty.


This is the reason I posted this. Thank you for giving me what I was looking for.
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Ken
United States
Crystal Lake
Illinois
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
bjlillo wrote:
Yep, definitely a lefty.


This is the reason I posted this. Thank you for giving me what I was looking for.


Stop channeling Tripp, you righty moron.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
I don't know if any of the guns I fired had a safety. Shouldn't matter. Don't ever point a gun at a person (that you don't want to kill) and you're fine. Why did it freak you out so much?
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
perfalbion wrote:
GameCrossing wrote:
bjlillo wrote:
Yep, definitely a lefty.


This is the reason I posted this. Thank you for giving me what I was looking for.


Stop channeling Tripp, you righty moron.


It was actually the truth, though. more than once while I was there, I had the thought, "Tripp, BJ and the gang would be laughing their asses off at me right now..."
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
quozl wrote:
I don't know if any of the guns I fired had a safety. Shouldn't matter. Don't ever point a gun at a person (that you don't want to kill) and you're fine. Why did it freak you out so much?


I honestly don't know. I mean, it's not like I was wildly swinging guns hither and yon saying "Look at me... the safety's on!!!" But maybe it's just the idea that there was a mechanical layer of protection between me and some sort of mishap such as dropping the gun or whatever. But really, it took me about three or four tries to level my gun at the target from it's upright, pointed-at-the-sky position. I was freaked.
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
Boise
Idaho
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmb
Demeaning people and things you fear and cannot grasp is understandable. Demeaning a large collection of men by implying that testosterone and a lack of sophistication is the only reason they enjoy and collect guns is also understandable. Pretending that you are savvy enough to know you don't need guns while your Mormon brothers are little more than barely civilized apes jerking on their cocks and comparing size is also understandable.

Hell, the whole boring essay makes sense. It's written by a liberal living in a red state and it reveals everything any thinking person needs to know about the liberal disease.

This is confirmation bias for RSP. As long as you keep your stories restricted to a narrow audience you'll find they'll cheerfully pull your pud for you while you bask in the glory of group acceptance.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
DWTripp wrote:
Demeaning people and things you fear and cannot grasp is understandable. Demeaning a large collection of men by implying that testosterone and a lack of sophistication is the only reason they enjoy and collect guns is also understandable. Pretending that you are savvy enough to know you don't need guns while your Mormon brothers are little more than barely civilized apes jerking on their cocks and comparing size is also understandable.

Hell, the whole boring essay makes sense. It's written by a liberal living in a red state and it reveals everything any thinking person needs to know about the liberal disease.

This is confirmation bias for RSP. As long as you keep your stories restricted to a narrow audience you'll find they'll cheerfully pull your pud for you while you bask in the glory of group acceptance.


I would also make fun of those who take part in book club. I just haven't gone to that one yet either so I have no narrative for that. Yep. I'd make fun of book-readin' people as well. So I'm back to being a centrist. Suck it.

EDIT: You know what? No. That's not the case. I didn't do what you said I did. I didn't disparage everyone. There were one or two people who I was uncomfortable with. But most of them were good, even though I kept mostly to myself. Kelly, the one who showed me the suppressor, was extremely generous with his time. While everyone else was wrapped up in what they were doing, he was happy to take time away from his own enjoyment to walk me through something he was passionate about. I thanked him more than once for it, and he just shrugged it off.

Were there moments of yahoo-ism? Yeah. Was I leery of that going in? Absolutely I was. Did that define the event? No. What defined it for me was my own discomfort with a tool that I was respectful to the point of awe and I couldn't let go of that in order to enjoy myself.

So unless you are saying I was lying about the "grab the biggest gun you can find" photo or the guy literally shouting "Can you feel the testosterone?!?!" after encouraging everyone to empty a clip at the same time... they happened. There was some yahoo-ism. But I never said that was everyone. Or even that those who were at the forefront of yahoo-ism were doing that all the time. Never even implied it. Your knee-jerk defensive posture inserted it there.

Honestly, my story wasn't for the gun-haters. It was for the gun-lovers. Many times I had the thought of how your ilk would be laughing your asses off at my ineptitude, so I decided to share said ineptitude. I would say "sorry" about it not meeting your demanding, righteous, guns-are-beyond-reproach standards, but that ain't about me. That's about you.

I never disparaged an entire group of people. I just knew I wouldn't fit in. That is in no way saying I am better than them. I never said testosterone and a lack of sophistication was why people collected guns. I never said my lack of need of guns was savvy nor did I say that everyone else was circlejerking about it. That was you bringing your own bias into it. My only point to all of this was... holy shit, I am pretty inept and uncomfortable when it comes to guns, and I don't think I will ever be around them enough to not be inept or uncomfortable. The rest is all you.
20 
 Thumb up
0.01
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
Boise
Idaho
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
So I'm back to being a centrist. Suck it.


No you're not. You're a liberal/progressive ideologue. You stink of it and it leaks out from everything you post here. The only thing that puzzles me about liberals like you and Dar and a few others here is why you don't simply acknowledge what you are? It's like you understand your mindset but you want other people to believe that you're something entirely different.

That's subterfuge and is indicative of a lack of personal integrity and character.

You Libs need to be more like us conservatives. Pronounce to all your ideological leanings and have a discussion based on what you see as the merits of your political beliefs. But you're basically too chickenshit to do that because you know there are few merits to your ideology. So instead you pretend to be a "real" conservative and try and cast others not like you as radical wingnuts.

It's pathetic.
2 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
DWTripp wrote:
GameCrossing wrote:
So I'm back to being a centrist. Suck it.


No you're not. You're a liberal/progressive ideologue. You stink of it and it leaks out from everything you post here. The only thing that puzzles me about liberals like you and Dar and a few others here is why you don't simply acknowledge what you are? It's like you understand your mindset but you want other people to believe that you're something entirely different.

That's subterfuge and is indicative of a lack of personal integrity and character.

You Libs need to be more like us conservatives. Pronounce to all your ideological leanings and have a discussion based on what you see as the merits of your political beliefs. But you're basically too chickenshit to do that because you know there are few merits to your ideology. So instead you pretend to be a "real" conservative and try and cast others not like you as radical wingnuts.

It's pathetic.


I openly pronounce my stands on issues all the time. You only notice when I shorthand it as "Tea Party sucks" and it can confirm what you want to believe, which is that all Tea-Party haters are flaming libtards.

You have a martyr complex.
12 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Us radicals think you're both pathetic.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
quozl wrote:
Us radicals think you're both pathetic.


Get a job and cut your hair, you damn hippie!
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
quozl wrote:
Us radicals think you're both pathetic.


Get a job and cut your hair, you damn hippie!


Is it too fluffy in my picture?
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
quozl wrote:
GameCrossing wrote:
quozl wrote:
Us radicals think you're both pathetic.


Get a job and cut your hair, you damn hippie!


Is it too fluffy in my picture?


Like you pulled your head out of a lint trap.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
But it holds the flowers better when it's thicker.
7 
 Thumb up
0.30
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
quozl wrote:
But it holds the flowers better when it's thicker.


Don't you have a drum line in the park to go annoy people with or something?
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
I'm going to take my daughter and her friend bowling pretty soon.

Man, I am failing at this stereotype!
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
United States
Louisville
Kentucky
flag msg tools
badge
Pet photographer, that's me.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Quote:
But maybe it's just the idea that there was a mechanical layer of protection between me and some sort of mishap such as dropping the gun or whatever.


If it makes you feel better, all modern revolvers (and hand guns in general), maybe except for some old west single action recreations and cheapass semi-autos, have a transfer bar or hammer block device that prevents the gun from firing unless the trigger is pulled all the way back which is accomplished by pulling the trigger all the way back*. With a revolver this takes 10 - 15 pounds of force. Typically more than an accidental squeeze.

UNLESS YOU MANUALLY COCKED THE HAMMER! At that point the trigger is MOST OF THE WAY BACK ALREADY. It just takes a fraction of the force on the trigger to go the final fraction of an inch to ALL THE WAY BACK. KEEP FINGER OUT OF TRIGGER GUARD UNTIL POINTED AT TARGET. OR SAFER YET, REMOVE FINGER ENTIRELY FROM YOUR HAND.

Thus there was a mechanical layer of protection between you and dropping it or whatever. You just have to keep your finger outside the... maybe that was the whatever.


*Note: As I understand it this is not necessarily true of rifles and shotguns.

10 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Heiko Möller
Germany
Berlin
Berlin
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
american culture never stops to baffle me, thanks for sharing
9 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
1 , 2  Next »   | 
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.