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Subject: A once-over on my rules? (Cartel) rss

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Steven Tu
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Hi guys!

I'm about to wrap my game up for the KBG contest, have made super numerous changes to the game based on feedback before, so I would love if you guys would be so kind as to give my rulebook one last look before I wrap and send

Here is the rulebook:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/15257303/game_dev/Cartel...

Thanks everyone!



edit: Replaced the one page overview with the game art in case people were reading the overview instead of the full doc (with 1 and a half more pages) than the overview XD
 
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Vincent
Netherlands
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Some things a noticed:


Having control of Businesses that
are operational at the end of the game

Each player has two actions
per turn to spend to do things. (on doing, not sure about this?)

without resolveing the
effect on the card,

The Snitch can be played only when
seven (all) Officials are in play.
4. Snitch!
• The Snitch can only be played when all
seven pocket cards are in play (is this the same thing twice or not?)

may move
adjecant to itself

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Steven Tu
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Thanks Vince! Did you read the doc or just the overview page?

edit: Replaced the one page overview with the game art in case people were reading the overview instead of the full doc (with 1 and a half more pages) than the overview XD
 
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Paul Dodds
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Hi Steven,

I had to sit through a very dull conference call at work so I decided to do something useful with my time!

Below are the things I noticed. I hope they will help. Best of luck with Cartel - sounds like a fun game.
Paul

Setup
Starting hand says to draw 5 cards but the image shows 4 cards.
It's just a small point, but it might avoid any confusion if the image matches the text (I'm assuming the text is correct).

Each player, in turn, places a Business from their hand, without resolveing...
Should be resolving.

Turn Sequence
Draw as may cards as the tallest building you own.
Draw as many cards as the tallest building you control. (I'd suggest "control" for consistence with terms used in the overview on the previous page).

Also I think it would be really useful here to define exactly what this means. Control is defined having the most agents in building, right? I had to go back to the overview to find that information. Having it here in the body of the rules would really help. What happens if two players have the same number of agents in building? Do you draw cards for the total number of business in a building you control or just your own businesses?

Turn Sequence - Buy off an official
Offcials have when played effects which only resolves once when playing it, or they may have ongoing effects that you can use as long as its in play under your control.
I think would read a bit better as Officials either have when played effects which are resolved immediately when playing the card from your hand, or ongoing effects that can be used for as long as the Official remains under your control.

The Snitch
The first point makes reference to seven (all) Officials in the play and the second makes reference to all seven pocket cards. Firstly I don't think it needs two references, particularly as they follow each other. Secondly it makes more sense to refer to all seven Officials and not pocket cards as there is no other reference to pocket cards anywhere in the rules.

Move
The Agent/s may move through other Agents in your gang without ending its move, using each other like a bridge.
I think it would be useful to provide a text clarification of the diagram saying that the presence of agents belonging to other players does not block the movement of your own agent when bridging.

Also, based on the experience of my gaming group if I was explaining this game someone is bound to ask if they can use another player's agents for bridging if that player gives them permission to do so. It might be worth setting out definitely whether this is allowed or not.

Roads with turning corners are considered adjacent.
To be clear: Buildings on roads with turning corners are considered adjacent.

Finishing
The second time when a player must draw from the deck and cannot, the game ends immediately.
To me that doesn't read so well. It could suggest that the same player must not be able to draw a second time. How about: After the Bankroll deck is exhausted for a second time the game ends immediately. The first time the Bankroll deck is exhausted the discard pile is shuffled to form a new Bankroll deck. After this second Bankroll deck is exhausted the games ends immediately when a player is unable to draw a card because none are available. This can be as a result of a player choosing the Draw Card action during their Actions (step 1 in the Turn Sequence), or during Step 3 in the Turn Sequence when drawing cards for the tallest building.
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Steven Tu
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Thank you for your eagle eyes sir! For example the pocket cards were the old name for the Officials - I had changed that because it was way too clever for its own damn good (pocket = having someone in your pocket, but it took too much explanation for most people when I playtested)

I'll make those changes! Thanks a mil!
 
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Tomello Visello
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observations from a single pass

**Businesses are operational when its
placement fulfils the criteria stated on
the card.

Businesss .. when their
or
A business ... when its.

fulfills needs a second 'l' a the end



**All player’s operational Victory Points
are tallied and the winner is the one with
the most points!

the apostrophe belongs following the 's' in this one. The use of the word 'all' has made 'player' plural. An alternarive is 'Each player's ...'


**Each player selects their colour and takes
their set of Agent tokens. The number
of reserve tokens depends on the
number of players in the game:

Never mentioned before, so I have no understanding of 'reserve' at this point. Having used the term Agent it would be just fine not to say 'reserve' at all.

Also 'Each ... their' is increasingly common but incorrect grammar that mixes singular and plural (and makes me sad).



**Setup is complete, play commences in a
clockwise direction.

Setup vs Play; it is odd to mention clockwise here when 'in turn' has already been mentioned right before. Might be redundant or might be confusing? Simple resolution might be to substitute 'commences' with 'continues'.


**Players start with different amounts of
Agents in their pool, depending on how
many players are in the game.

inconsistent usage; pool vs reserve


**2. The second time when a player must
draw from the deck and cannot
, the game
ends immediately.

Awkward and uncommon description that currently needs the call-out box to clarify. I would say more simply 'The second time the Bankroll deck is finished the game ends immediately'. Also, my own preference would be 'exhausted' rather than 'finished'. Is there something else going on here that the deck can sit exhuasted for several turns before someone needs to draw?


**4 for T with nothing above it.

I know that cards are stacked and the top one is in control. Without further inferences I do not understand how something would be above/on top of the card that gets scored. I can guess that you mean something about 'adjacent buildings higher' but it isn't in there.

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Steven Tu
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TVis wrote:

**Each player selects their colour and takes
their set of Agent tokens. The number
of reserve tokens depends on the
number of players in the game:

Also 'Each ... their' is increasingly common but incorrect grammar that mixes singular and plural (and makes me sad).[/i]



Racking my brain and googling gave me no results, how should the sentence go, grammatically? Really appreciate the eagle eye grammar spotting!
 
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Paul Dodds
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I'd suggest something along of the lines of:

"Each player chooses a color and takes a number of the corresponding Agent tokens as follows:"
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Steven Tu
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Kyuss wrote:
I'd suggest something along of the lines of:

"Each player chooses a color and takes a number of the corresponding Agent tokens as follows:"


Perfect, thanks!
 
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Tomello Visello
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Tuism wrote:
TVis wrote:

**Each player selects their colour and takes
their set of Agent tokens. The number
of reserve tokens depends on the
number of players in the game:

Also 'Each ... their' is increasingly common but incorrect grammar that mixes singular and plural (and makes me sad).[/i]



Racking my brain and googling gave me no results, how should the sentence go, grammatically? Really appreciate the eagle eye grammar spotting! :D
"Each player ... his own" is grammatically correct.

Some years ago a few angry people complained that structure was outdated and not politically correct. They insited on " ... his or her own."

The public rebelled at such awkwardness and tried to avoid criticism by taking refuge in " ... their own," and grammar correctness lost out to political correctness.





Kyuss wrote:
I'd suggest something along of the lines of:

"Each player chooses a color and takes a number of the corresponding Agent tokens as follows:"
This type of structure is a safe way to avoid the issue altogether.

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Paul Dodds
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TVis wrote:
grammar correctness lost out to political correctness.


Heh! You've perfectly nailed my gripe with many of the rules I read.
 
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Tomello Visello
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Tuism wrote:
Racking my brain and googling gave me no results, how should the sentence go, grammatically?
Typing "his her their" or "he she they" as an internet search will bring up plenty more authoritative discussion than mine, including how some circumstances exist where the 'rule' has been molded to find contemporary acceptance.

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Tomello Visello
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Kyuss wrote:
TVis wrote:
grammar correctness lost out to political correctness.


Heh! You've perfectly nailed my gripe with many of the rules I read. :)
Composing and typing impromtu has its pitfalls. I wont't correct it now but I'd rather have written that as 'grammatical' if it is to get repeated.

 
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