Recommend
 
 Thumb up
 Hide
21 Posts

BoardGameGeek» Forums » Everything Else » Religion, Sex, and Politics

Subject: S Thread! Humor! 50 Shades riffs. rss

Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: [View All]
Josh
United States
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
So browsing Imgur can lead down some rabbit holes. IT's fun, sometimes it's cool. Here's one I thought RSP might like:

50 Shades is shit, and really these days it's old Shit. People have GoT for their abusive incest kink ridden rape/murder fantasies these days. Back when it was still a thing though it still sucked and apparently some folks who're into BDSM went to the trouble to grind through it chapter by chapter(and from my brief read of the beginning almost line by line) tearing it apart from a kink and literary standpoint all in one go. It looks funny form what I've read so far, and full of lots of sarcasm and insults which I know RSP loves.

Link!:http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/242338.html

Enjoy.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Michael Carter
United States
Marion
Iowa
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GoT is older than 50 Shades... Dumbass.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Josh
United States
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
mlcarter815 wrote:
GoT is older than 50 Shades... Dumbass.


Not in the consciousness of the general public. Dumbass. The books were far too dense for general consumption. They needed HBO to parse them down and make them pretty before the public could get their debauch on.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Michael Carter
United States
Marion
Iowa
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Shadrach wrote:
mlcarter815 wrote:
GoT is older than 50 Shades... Dumbass.


Not in the consciousness of the general public. Dumbass. The books were far too dense for general consumption. They needed HBO to parse them down and make them pretty before the public could get their debauch on.


Even by that absurd distinction, 50 Shades of Grey was published later in the same year that the first season of GoT aired. Dumbass.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Josh
United States
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
mlcarter815 wrote:
Shadrach wrote:
mlcarter815 wrote:
GoT is older than 50 Shades... Dumbass.


Not in the consciousness of the general public. Dumbass. The books were far too dense for general consumption. They needed HBO to parse them down and make them pretty before the public could get their debauch on.


Even by that absurd distinction, 50 Shades of Grey was published later in the same year that the first season of GoT aired. Dumbass.


One month. Shall we compare popularity peaks and debauch? Shall we break out charts and graphs and analyze this shit by the numbers, or shall we just go by 'When this shit was/is popular' which was the intent? Or shall you just stay on your high horse of futurama-bureaucracy correctness? You seem happy up there. Your avatar is well chosen.

I'mma go jog. You can read and laugh, or just you know, keep bitching. Like a bitch.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Agent J
United States
Coldwater
Michigan
flag msg tools
He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
badge
He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Koldfoot wrote:
From the title to this point I am completely lost.

But I'm likin' it.

Can we slap Slater around while we're at it?


Interesting conundrum. If you slap slater, is he inherently in the wrong?
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Chad Ellis
United States
Brookline
Massachusetts
flag msg tools
designer
publisher
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Not if you slap him right.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Agent J
United States
Coldwater
Michigan
flag msg tools
He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
badge
He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Chad_Ellis wrote:
Not if you slap him right.


That's a paradox.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matt Connellan
United States
Binghamton
New York
flag msg tools
badge
I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
I'm not precisely sure what the point of this is, but I'm diving in nonetheless.

Firstly, I can't imagine anyone reading/watching GoT for it's "kink" value. It's such a small part imbedded in such a large whole that if that's all you were looking for you would get extremely bored waiting for it.

As far as 50 Shades of Grey... it's porn for middle-aged ladies who are afraid of porn. I read the whole first book and it was awful. Here goes (and you may know most of this already):

It started out as a Twilight fanfiction (which is why all of the characters have an analogue to the Twilight universe, which I also read the first book of and it was also terrible... but I digress) so the characters are already bad. Then it somehow caught the eye of a book executive so James had to change a bunch of character details to avoid copyright infringement. So Edward became Grey, Bella became... *shudder* Anastasia Steele (just bad), etc. So Grey is still an obsessive controlling dickbag and Anastasia is still a self-involved cunt.

The only reason the story "works" is because Grey is the hottest 22-year old billionaire philanthropist in the world. If he was anything less - say, an actual human that exists - it would not work because he wouldn't be hot enough to do what he does. The only reason Anastasia doesn't reject him out of hand is because he's so hot. In fact, dozens of passages explain exactly this. She considers what he is doing creepy and unsettling, but HE'S SOOOOO HOT OMG!!!!!

So then there is the sex described in the book. It's actually incredibly tame. Like, you can probably find dirtier stuff on YouTube. A large portion of the book (way too large) is dedicated to her hashing out her sex contract with Grey. What clauses she will not sign. Which ones she wants added. Etc. In the end, everything is so wishy-washy that the only person turned on by this will be a middle-aged housewife who has never used the internet.

In summary, this book is shit, this movie will be shit, and anyone who is actually turned on by the shit in this book is just turned on by hack writing and zero-dimensional characters.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Michael Carter
United States
Marion
Iowa
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
My mom reads a lot of "romance novels" and laughed at how much hype 50 Shades got in comparison to something by Sandra Brown or Nora Roberts because of how tame it was.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sarah Donovan
United States
Seattle
Washington
flag msg tools
Keep it cool, keep it casual...
badge
Plays well with others.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Pintsizepete wrote:
I read the whole first book and it was awful...


I've avoided 50 Shades, having been warned off of it by pretty much the entire internet, but I admittedly struggle with the base premise. Contract? Does he hire her? Like, with pay? Seriously what is wrong with this guy that he needs to seek out and contract a sub for light bondage? They aren't hard to find. :/ Even young, pretty female subs are plentiful.

Nevermind that a very rich dude who probably has to exert a lot of control over his wealth/show a lot of dominance in the business world is probably more likely to have, say, an AR fetish or something (often people who have to be in control for most of their daily life will fantasize about giving that up to someone else for a while as a stress relief). But THAT'S NOT THE FANTASY, I GUESS.

And I suppose there's no arguing that it does sell. The market of housewives who want to imagine a hot, rich businessman to pay them sums of money to let him tie their wrists to a bedpost is admittedly much greater than the market of people who want to read about a hot, rich businessman who is struggling to find someone out there who'll accept his adult baby fetish and will help him construct his giant crib.

I know it's fiction, but really. Only one of those services would actually need to be paid/contracted for.
8 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Chad Ellis
United States
Brookline
Massachusetts
flag msg tools
designer
publisher
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Jythier wrote:
Chad_Ellis wrote:
Not if you slap him right.


That's a paradox.


No, that's when he goes for a check-up and his GP calls in a consulting physician...and they both slap him.
5 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
TSpeaks wrote:
people who want to read about a hot, rich businessman who is struggling to find someone out there who'll accept his adult baby fetish and will help him construct his giant crib.

Poll
I would read that
I would not read that
I would--wait a minute, these polls are anonymous, right?
      17 answers
Poll created by kuhrusty
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Lynette
United States
Richland
Washington
flag msg tools
Yep, I am a girl Scientist. Come for the breasts; Stay for the brains!
badge
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love; I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
kuhrusty wrote:
TSpeaks wrote:
people who want to read about a hot, rich businessman who is struggling to find someone out there who'll accept his adult baby fetish and will help him construct his giant crib.

Poll
I would read that
I would not read that
I would--wait a minute, these polls are anonymous, right?
      17 answers
Poll created by kuhrusty


Where is the I would read it if Kuhrusty was the author choice??

Cause your do it yourself projects are always comic gold. Adding fetish stuff to the mix couldn't possibly make it any less funny.
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Meerkat wrote:
Cause your do it yourself projects are always comic gold.

Thanks; someday I do hope to be able to laugh about them myself.

(Pretty sure a giant crib would have to be a do-it-yourself project. "OK, a wheeled cage for holding firewood, got it... but why do these plans have a mattress?")
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matt Connellan
United States
Binghamton
New York
flag msg tools
badge
I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
TSpeaks wrote:
Pintsizepete wrote:
I read the whole first book and it was awful...


I've avoided 50 Shades, having been warned off of it by pretty much the entire internet, but I admittedly struggle with the base premise. Contract? Does he hire her? Like, with pay? Seriously what is wrong with this guy that he needs to seek out and contract a sub for light bondage? They aren't hard to find. :/ Even young, pretty female subs are plentiful.

Nevermind that a very rich dude who probably has to exert a lot of control over his wealth/show a lot of dominance in the business world is probably more likely to have, say, an AR fetish or something (often people who have to be in control for most of their daily life will fantasize about giving that up to someone else for a while as a stress relief). But THAT'S NOT THE FANTASY, I GUESS.

And I suppose there's no arguing that it does sell. The market of housewives who want to imagine a hot, rich businessman to pay them sums of money to let him tie their wrists to a bedpost is admittedly much greater than the market of people who want to read about a hot, rich businessman who is struggling to find someone out there who'll accept his adult baby fetish and will help him construct his giant crib.

I know it's fiction, but really. Only one of those services would actually need to be paid/contracted for.


The "contract" isn't for money. It's a document basically saying what he is and is not allowed to do to her. Implying that when she signs it she is "trapped" in his world. You walked down the rabbit hole voluntarily, now the door is locked behind you.

Hopefully that clears up the perfect plot that makes sense and is not stupid.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sarah Donovan
United States
Seattle
Washington
flag msg tools
Keep it cool, keep it casual...
badge
Plays well with others.
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Pintsizepete wrote:
The "contract" isn't for money. It's a document basically saying what he is and is not allowed to do to her. Implying that when she signs it she is "trapped" in his world. You walked down the rabbit hole voluntarily, now the door is locked behind you.

Hopefully that clears up the perfect plot that makes sense and is not stupid.


That clears it all up, yes!

In all honesty, communication is a good thing and it's important to be clear about boundaries and safewords and all that beforehand. I knew a gal (sub) in college who photocopied a several-page long form to fill out with potential partners for bdsm scene purposes. So I guess I shouldn't judge Mr. Grey's contract fetish. "We are going to go over and over all this fine print, and you're going to sign and initial everywhere I say to. Then we're going to get this notarized and pretend it's all legally binding."

So hot.
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Mac Mcleod
United States
houston
Texas
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
TSpeaks wrote:
Pintsizepete wrote:
I read the whole first book and it was awful...


I've avoided 50 Shades, having been warned off of it by pretty much the entire internet, but I admittedly struggle with the base premise. Contract? Does he hire her? Like, with pay? Seriously what is wrong with this guy that he needs to seek out and contract a sub for light bondage? They aren't hard to find. :/ Even young, pretty female subs are plentiful.

Nevermind that a very rich dude who probably has to exert a lot of control over his wealth/show a lot of dominance in the business world is probably more likely to have, say, an AR fetish or something (often people who have to be in control for most of their daily life will fantasize about giving that up to someone else for a while as a stress relief). But THAT'S NOT THE FANTASY, I GUESS.

And I suppose there's no arguing that it does sell. The market of housewives who want to imagine a hot, rich businessman to pay them sums of money to let him tie their wrists to a bedpost is admittedly much greater than the market of people who want to read about a hot, rich businessman who is struggling to find someone out there who'll accept his adult baby fetish and will help him construct his giant crib.

I know it's fiction, but really. Only one of those services would actually need to be paid/contracted for.


I think there is a difference between people who fantasize about power relationships and the many powerful people who actually use and abuse the power they have over others.

It's not a fantasy for them and there are no "safe" words.


1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Josh
United States
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
The story is shit, it's mst3k level shit and the link I threw out was basically that for it. It made me laugh.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Welcome Rolling Stones
Latvia
Bullshit
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
mlcarter815 wrote:
My mom reads a lot of "romance novels" and laughed at how much hype 50 Shades got in comparison to something by Sandra Brown or Nora Roberts because of how tame it was.

Your mom goes to college.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.