My wife and I decided to try “The Scurvy Musketeers of the Spanish Main” shortly after I purchased it… (It only took a little begging on my part – she’s a big pirate movie fan. Which is why I picked the game in the first place… )
What follows is the short but exciting feature film, entitled “Brave Sir Flash and the Iron Map of Nottingham”
Me: Cabin Boy(DS1)
Wife: Legendary Captain (DS4), Lady in Waiting(DS2), and Big Dumb Farmer(DS2)
Wife: Plays Skippy the Wonder Sea-Dog (DS4), making my poor lonely Cabin Boy cry. (She asks the not-so-subtle question: “I can’t attack on the first turn, right?”)
Me: the Cabin Boy decides to go for a swim in the English Channel (Def +2) where he finally meets some friends: an Exotic Savage (DS2) and his Noble Steed (DS4). (Must be a sea horse…)
Wife: Replaces my English Channel with the Gallows (Def -2). “Hey, what’s that funny little building over there on the beach? Let’s go see!” Then, just as they reach the gallows, a Traitorous Musketeer jumps out and attacks my brave but strange trio. Total AS is 12 vs DS of 5… All I can do is play a King’s Ransom, but my two drawn cards help me not. The Noble Steed dies. The Traitorous Musketeer uses his special ability and attacks again. I’ve got nothing, so the Exotic Savage joins his steed in a shallow grave, leaving the Cabin Boy alone, naturally.
Me: Ah HA! The Dashing Sea Captain (DS5), carrying a Long Bow (+3 DS) finds his long lost Cabin Boy (raising the boy’s DS to 3) crying by the gallows. Also, the Noble Steed is only mostly dead… (“Taking on the Mantle” lets him come back from the discard pile, at -2 DS). Things are looking up a bit! Meanwhile, a Phantom Vessel (AS13) attacks the Legendary Captain, et al. The Legendary Captain’s special ability lets him discard two cards and stop one aquatic attack, which he does… But AhHA! The phantom vessel was only the vanguard for the Stop-Motion Plasticene Sea Serpent (AS 15) who attacks again! Things look bad for the heroes, until Skippy the Wonder Sea-Dog uses the special effect “La Botta Secretta” and does some secret dog-fu move that defeats the monster… (sigh). However, just as they were starting to relax and pet the dog, the Heartless Sea Captain (the last card in my hand) surprises them with a AS20 aquatic attack! With only one card left in her hand, there’s no defense… and The Legendary Captain falls at the hands of Captain Heartless…
Wife: The Lady in Waiting and the Big Dumb Farmer, with their brave Wonder Sea-Dog, enter Sherwood Forest (+3DS). The Lady finds a corset and straps it on (tripling her DS to 6…) I await by the gallows with baited breath, but no attack comes…
Me: I am joined by a Merry Outlaw (who obviously wandered into the wrong movie, as he should be in Sherwood…) Captain Dashing gives the Long Bow to the Outlaw (making it +7DS!) A bunch of special effects cards allow me no other actions…
Wife: Rolls credits! What..? But… She has a wicked grin on her face… what does she know that I’ve missed?
Scoring the Movies:
Wife: DS total of 15…
Me: DS total of 19…
Huh? I win? So why does she have that evil grin on her face..?
Then she holds up Skippy the Wonder Sea-Dog… there, at the bottom… the word “Map” – bonus of 10 points for one of the title words!
I scramble through my cards… nothing… nothing… It’s over…
Curse you, Skippy… I will have my revenge one day!