In this case, we were outside, just getting home. He had done his business, but had the remaining dingleberry hanging from behind him and he was looking at me with pitiful eyes like he was saying, "Help me, Daddy!" He couldn't wipe his butt on the grass because everything was covered in snow and he didn't want to drag his butt in the snow.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
When my dog was a puppy she had a very sensitive stomach. Every day when I went to work, she would have diarrhea all over her enclosure. I kept her in a puppy playpen in the kitchen while I was gone so it was contained but she ran around in it and got it all over her hair. I had to give her a bath and clean the kitchen every day after work for a few weeks until I finally found a dog food that agreed with her. She's lucky that I love her.
Warning: Do not read if you are eating, have a sensitive stomach, or a weak gag reflex.
Spoiler (click to reveal)
When I was a teenager we had a dog who ate another dog's poop and then came in the house and vomited partially re-digested poop all over my bedroom floor. The stench alone was hideous. I loved that dog but I have to admit that right at that particular moment I hated her.