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Subject: Conflicted... rss

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Chris Tannhauser
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ya gotta bunny/duck it in your head
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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My son went deep sea fishing today and caught what is clearly half a mermaid. I'm imagining that during the gutting and filleting process they throw the other half back as it would be unseemly to have it curled and spitting on the grill. Besides, it's probably nothing more than a warty growth like an angler fish's lantern, designed not for close scrutiny but good enough to snare horny sailors with salt spray in their eyes.

But the real question is, should I eat it? Is mermaid meat lucky or poisonous? Please advise.
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Wendell
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Too bad you didn't take a photo of the entire thing, it could have made quite a splash in the news.
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How tall is justice?
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Which half? You never made that explicitly clear...
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Erik Henry
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The left half?
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Matt Brown
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wifwendell wrote:
Too bad you didn't take a photo of the entire thing, it could have made quite a splash in the news.




(showing my age)
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Rusty McFisticuffs
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HiveGod wrote:
But the real question is, should I eat it? Is mermaid meat lucky or poisonous?

Definitely lucky, unless you're ever near the sea again.
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CHAPEL
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Meh, I'll eat any creature as long as it isn't shrieking it's last death call.
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rico
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kuhrusty wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
But the real question is, should I eat it? Is mermaid meat lucky or poisonous?

Definitely lucky, unless you're ever near the sea again.

Well, there's only one way to find out!

Let us know if your son has a speedy recovery.
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David Dixon
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Does your route back home occur overland or over water?

If overland, eat away.

If over water, make a sacrifice to the gods, pour out some sweet wine, serve the fattest part to the priests, etc., etc.

The last guy I knew who pissed off Posiedon took like eight years to get home and dudes were trying to steal his wife the whole time.

Diis

PS: Although, he was captive on an island full of smoking hot nymphs for a large portion of the time, so there's that...
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So it goes
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If it's a Disney mermaid, poisonous. Otherwise, bon appetite.
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1 Lucky Texan
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why do mermaids wear seashells?
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B-shells too small, D-shells too big.
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Michael Edwards
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Carl Frodge
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1 Lucky Texan wrote:
why do mermaids wear seashells?
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B-shells too small, D-shells too big.

I used to work on a tour boat and tell this joke...
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1 Lucky Texan
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^^ cool! definitely works better spoken.
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Josh Jennings
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Well, from what I've heard, there's only two possible outcomes:
(The real meat is at the 31-second mark)

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Mike Norris
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matthean wrote:
wifwendell wrote:
Too bad you didn't take a photo of the entire thing, it could have made quite a splash in the news.




(showing my age)


Not sure I know what you mean.....

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Richard Hedke
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Fresh water Mermaids are quite tasty and high in Omega 3 which we could all use a bit more of. Salt water Mermaids, however, have a very rubbery consistency and a petroleum jelly taste due to their bottom-feeding nature.
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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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It also occurs to me that the "maid" part could just be a vomited wad of stomach contents, akin to ambergris, which is then gripped in the teeth until one is near enough to a sailor to get him to drop trou, thereby fouling his ankles and making it easier to feed.
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Jeff
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If it looked like Daryl Hannah in her early/mid twenties then I know what I'd advise...
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Michael Howden
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HiveGod wrote:

But the real question is, should I eat it? Is mermaid meat lucky or poisonous? Please advise.


I'd say lucky. I would also recommend pairing it with a unicorn fillet and a nice pinot. Surf and turf, mmmmmm.
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