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Subject: Getting Your Husband/Boyfriend Into Board Gaming rss

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Nicole Bird
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I know we are in the minority here, but how many women on here started off more interested in Board games than their SO? Are they more interested now then before? What did you do to encourage their interest?

I personally have been getting board games of all types to try to see what captivates my husband the most, so far the greatest success has been Specter Ops with him as the agent. He destroyed myself and my brother-in-law when we played, and now he wants to play again!

meeple
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I love games - always have... My daughter also loves them... Hubby is outnumbered and humors us a lot but he's not as into them as us I would say.

Hubby generally likes games but he prefers RPG's and plays regularly with a group. I tried once when we were first together and realized, it was not my thing.

Luckily he does always enjoy hanging out with friends and isn't negative if we pull out a game. If he's not in the mood, he just opts not to play. This used to happen a lot but I've noticed lately he usually doesn't but only if he's really tired and really doesn't feel like thinking as he calls it.

We have found a lot of gateway games appeal to us both - Catan, Dominion, etc. I have recently bought Smash Up for our anniversary to try and Star Trek Catan for Father's Day to try
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Vera P.
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I think I'm more into board games than my husband is...after all, I'm the one with the BGG account!

He'll play games and likes them, and getting together with the gaming group, but he's not into keeping up with what's going on and what the new games are...he leaves it up to me to update him!

I try to pick Euro games, or heavier "think-y" games and he really likes those. I don't mind them, and like them too, so it works out.

He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry
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Nicole Bird
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onefullturn wrote:


He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


Oh no I would be pretty upset about that, is it at least a reasonable number?
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tygerzroze wrote:
I know we are in the minority here, but how many women on here started off more interested in Board games than their SO? Are they more interested now then before? What did you do to encourage their interest?

I personally have been getting board games of all types to try to see what captivates my husband the most, so far the greatest success has been Specter Ops with him as the agent. He destroyed myself and my brother-in-law when we played, and now he wants to play again!

meeple
I was anticipating that requests for help on getting the husband to play more games would be answered "jokingly" to just find another husband. (perhaps here on BGG!)


I've met one couple who both were into gaming, but the wife seems to buy more. In fact, I talked to her one time, and she finished up by saying she recently bought a bunch of new games. I talked to the husband later on, and he commented how apparently, they have a bunch of games that he never noticed cool
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Derry Salewski
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onefullturn wrote:


He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


Did you limit the number of shoes he could have?
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Lorna B
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For me it's simple (well almost)


A - Don't ask him every night to play games with you, be happy if he is willing to game just once every week or two (ok for me I could game almost every night but not my other half)

B - Play games he prefers - My husband likes the Ticket to Ride games and is currently helping me to be a better chess player (neither of us will ever be world champion chess players far from it and I haven't beaten him yet though I did get close on Tuesday)

C - Slowly introduce different / new games one at a time keeping a list of what he likes so when buying new games in the future that you want to play with him you can try to buy a few similar games to what he likes which may help to bring him to the table more often

D - Introduce other games but don't push them on your partner, if they don't like them so be it, leave those games to play with others.

E - Compromise. say he watches a show you hate, tell him you'll sit and watch some TV with him (anything he wants) if he play a game or two with you before or after the show and stick to your end of the bargain - My husband loves this 'Air Crash Investigation' series, I can't stand it but I'll sit through a couple episodes if I thought he would play a game or two with me after.


If all else fails either find a gaming group near you or bring people over to game with you (if you have the room) and give him that time (while you are gaming)to go and hang with his mate maybe at a local bar etc...
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Lorna B
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onefullturn wrote:
He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


My husband hasn't done this but aside from the scene it / monopoly type games he thinks my collection is already a little big. Thank goodness he doesn't come on this forum as if he thinks 30 is a lot he is in for a big surprise coming on here and reading how many games others have (in comparison to a lot of people on this site I am relatively new to the hobby, been collecting for about a year / year and a half)...
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Vera P.
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tygerzroze wrote:
onefullturn wrote:


He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


Oh no I would be pretty upset about that, is it at least a reasonable number?


So, based on our shelving, it's around 50 games. I don't think it was unreasonable of him since board gaming isn't my only hobby. The craft supplies are much, much more! whistle
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Nicole Bird
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onefullturn wrote:
tygerzroze wrote:
onefullturn wrote:


He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


Oh no I would be pretty upset about that, is it at least a reasonable number?


So, based on our shelving, it's around 50 games. I don't think it was unreasonable of him since board gaming isn't my only hobby. The craft supplies are much, much more! whistle


Haha, well then maybe he is being reasonable.
Although I don't know if I could do 50 myself, I have less then that at the moment, but plan on buying about that amount in the next year or so
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Ashlee Cramb
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tygerzroze wrote:
I know we are in the minority here, but how many women on here started off more interested in Board games than their SO? Are they more interested now then before? What did you do to encourage their interest?

I personally have been getting board games of all types to try to see what captivates my husband the most, so far the greatest success has been Specter Ops with him as the agent. He destroyed myself and my brother-in-law when we played, and now he wants to play again!

meeple


I'm super lucky my boyfriend loves gaming, so I don't have that exact problem, but I do try and get other people into gaming.
I would suggest the following few things:

1. Try games with similar mechanics to the ones you know he likes.

2. Find out what he likes/ dislikes about games and try to limit his "dislike experience". Over time you can slowly try and get him to like more games.

3. Probably the one you'll have the most success with, try to get his friends into gaming too.

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Bruno Pigeon
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tygerzroze wrote:
I know we are in the minority here, but how many women on here started off more interested in Board games than their SO? Are they more interested now then before? What did you do to encourage their interest?

I personally have been getting board games of all types to try to see what captivates my husband the most, so far the greatest success has been Specter Ops with him as the agent. He destroyed myself and my brother-in-law when we played, and now he wants to play again!

meeple


I don't believe in changing a person.

My girlfriend is not into boardgames. Most of the time she doesn't want to play. Sometimes she does. She is not more interested than before. But I do have more games that she likes than before.

Talk to him. As him what he likes and what he doesn't like. Don't try to get him more into boardgames. It will be frustrating for both of you. When you buy a game, buy a game together. Do not buy a game by yourself and the try to get him to play it.

I have my gaming group. Sometimes she wants to join in. Most of the time she does not. I don't even ask her is she wants to play. I let her decide for herself.

She does not like learning new games. Combine this with learning a game she does not enjoy, and she will be turned off of bordgames for quite a while.

But, when we learn a new game that she really enjoy, we usually buy the game, and sell one that she doesn't enjoy. So my collection is built around games we both enjoy. For example, we went to the gaming pub for my birthday, and she asked to try Abyss. We did, and enjoyed it a lot. The next day we bought the game, and got rid of Cargo Noir which she didn't like.

But I don't depend on her to play games. I get my gaming fix with my gaming group. And sometimes she ask to play a game. Happy gaming life for both of us.

I never ask her to play a game. It's my hobby, not hers.
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There's nothing wrong with asking someone to play, it is how you react to their answer that matters.
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Nicole Bird
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super_bruno wrote:


I don't believe in changing a person.

I never ask her to play a game. It's my hobby, not hers.


No one is trying to change anyone here, It was just a question on what some have done to pique the interest of the SO. Everyone is different and you will never share all of the same hobbies as each other, that is a given. I'm also not asking for suggestions, just curious as to what others have done. In my situation my husband is very open to playing games with me, so it is not an issue.
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cornixt wrote:
There's nothing wrong with asking someone to play, it is how you react to their answer that matters.


cornixt wins the thread.
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Pete
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It's difficult for gamers to understand that some people don't like games.

Pete (finds that the same people often find it hard to comprehend that some people have zero interest in fantasy and sci-fi)
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scifiantihero wrote:
onefullturn wrote:


He did limit me to the number of games we can have on our shelf though! cry


Did you limit the number of shoes he could have?
Better yet, tell him his budget for bar and booze is equal to the budget set aside for your games. That should up some of the allowances
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Amy Roberts
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I started a board game group that meets at our house. Now he grumbles that we never have any games with enough players to fit him in too. So I buy more games. You'd think he'd be happy, right?!

Totally seriously, though...I am way more into boardgaming than he will probably ever be. But we have totally different interests & hobbies. He doesn't expect me to run 100km races with him...I don't expect him to take up cross stitch or boardgames. He'll play if we have family games with the kids. This has been the easiest way of getting him involved. But if we have anything more social, he's a bit more 50-50 on wether or not he'll get involved. Sometimes I can get him to come along or join in...sometimes he won't. I don't push it. He doesn't buy games or show any other interest in them - it's all me. Likewise, he doesn't limit my boardgaming or my spend on games (after all, I'm an adult & he understands it's something I enjoy & is as important to me as any of his interests he indulges in) but if it got completely out of hand, he'd probably say something...just like I'd say something to him if the tables were turned.
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Mindy G
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How can I find me one of these "husbands" or "SOs"?
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Nicole Bird
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oriecat wrote:
How can I find me one of these "husbands" or "SOs"?


You start off by luring them in with your sexy, sexy, collection of board games
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Katina Choovanski
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I am definitely the gamer in my household. heh My boyfriend will play games with me sometimes, but he never is the one asking to play. He also only really likes certain games... the lighter fare or the party games, so I have to get with my gamer friends to do more serious gaming. heh ;-)

He's cool with it, though. He thinks I'm nutso with how much I dig gaming... he doesn't really get it, but he is also fine with it. :-)

~Kat ^_^

I always laugh when people bring up games like Lost Cities and say that it is a "wife/girlfriend game," because it is a popular light card game they often play with their wives or girlfriends. I definitely have that situation revered... that is one of my "boyfriend games," since he really likes that one. ;-)
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Simon Lundström
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oriecat wrote:
How can I find me one of these "husbands" or "SOs"?


I'm wondering the same. Everytime I hear lamenting on "can't get boy/girlfriend/husband/wife into gaming", I sigh to myself and go "well… you have someone to share your everyday life with, at least…" I'm not belittling the problem, but for some of us, it's such a luxury problem.
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I got my husband (the budget guy in our house) into it as an inexpensive way to spend a Friday night with friends; simply pointed out that a $50 game enjoyed by 4 people every week (even with the junk food we buy) is still cheaper than going to a nice restaurant three times a month. Plus, we get more people into a newer, inexpensive hobby where they also buy games, thus cutting costs even more for each of us.

Win-win.
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Derry Salewski
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puggeroni wrote:
I got my husband (the budget guy in our house) into it as an inexpensive way to spend a Friday night with friends; simply pointed out that a $50 game enjoyed by 4 people every week (even with the junk food we buy) is still cheaper than going to a nice restaurant three times a month. Plus, we get more people into a newer, inexpensive hobby where they also buy games, thus cutting costs even more for each of us.

Win-win.


How can I find me one of these "friends?"
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Nicole Bird
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Zimeon wrote:
oriecat wrote:
How can I find me one of these "husbands" or "SOs"?


I'm wondering the same. Everytime I hear lamenting on "can't get boy/girlfriend/husband/wife into gaming", I sigh to myself and go "well… you have someone to share your everyday life with, at least…" I'm not belittling the problem, but for some of us, it's such a luxury problem.


Don't dwell on it to much. Enjoy being single. I got married young, I don't regret it as I love my husband, but there are times when I do miss being single. You have more freedom and less to worry about, just have fun. I know that still won't make you not want to have a SO but, the less you think about it, the more you can enjoy other things
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