Robb Minneman
United States
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Jackasses? You let a whole column get stalled and strafed on account of a couple of jackasses? What the hell's the matter with you?
The crazy snake ladies are still the crazy snake ladies. And even I can use their powers to mesmerize.

We've gotten out of our little corner of the galaxy and expanded rapidly. The green-skinned humanoids over there are kinda weird, and those dreadnaughts they're building are awful slow. The guys who have replaced half their bodies with cybernetics really creep me out, though. Extermination would be a mercy for them.

Still, I'm able to make good use of trade contracts to mollify them in the short term while I build up a fleet. And I get out and seize the old Imperial training grounds on Hope's End, and start pumping out the shock troops. Give those orphans a wasteland of a planet and a few sticks and the small percentage that survives are tough. I can turn them loose on my enemies and enjoy the results.

The creepy machine people give us an opening and we slide a small raiding force into their rear. We seize a couple of their planets and liberate the poor souls from the evil technology that's invaded their bodies. (Usually by a plasma burst to the head.)

In fact, we've got them so spooked that a bunch of their diplomats show up at the Imperial Senate. "They are murderers and racists and horrible, horrible people with swaying bodies and seductive hips and... uh... and they must be stopped or they will halt our campaign. You will be assim- er, Joyfully join us in our Empire!" The Senate agrees with them and we are forced to halt our campaign of just liberation.

That's okay, though, for by the end of the year they would crown me Empress. We swooped into the old Imperial capital and seized it, and then used its leverage to add to our Imperial aura. With the number of planets we had conquered, we were recognized as the new rulers of the Galaxy.

They worshiped us in our Imperial Majesty. Especially when we used the leftover cybernetic junk from the purged to make beautiful tinfoil bikinis. And our rule was just and well-loved.

Hat tip to HiveGod for the theme on this session report. I figure if I'm going to imitate, imitate from the best.


Three player game. We were playing with the original strategy card set, except with Trade II, Tech II, and Imperial II. This was a learning game for the Letnev player, and he quickly fell behind. The L1Z1X player took a shot at him in the mid-game, and left me an exposed chance to sneak into his backfield. I took a planet back there and over-extended him.

On the next turn, he took Diplomacy and I took Imperial II. I hit him again in his backfield and destroyed a spacedock. This panicked him and he quickly hit me with Diplomacy. I was stopped against him. Instead, I seized Mecatol Rex, and then played Imperial II. I also grabbed one extra neutral planet to get my non-home system planet total to 11.

I was able to claim three objectives that turn: Mecatol Rex for 1 pt, Destroy a Spacedock for 2 pts, and own 11 planets for 3 pts. Plus the bonus point for owning MR when I played Imperial II. I leapt from 4 VP to 11 VP in one turn and won the game.

I think our new player learned nicely, and we're setup for some vicious future games.
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