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Subject: My Personal Experience with Suicide... rss

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So yeah, I guess I got inspired to put on display even more torturous aspects of my life.
I guess I just want the punishment.
Here are two instances.....

Anyways, if you found the other thread hard to believe, this might be harder to believe, maybe? But this is all true.

So this one time, on eharmony, I started talking with a girl, many states away. It was good, she was nice. Then poof, vanished.
All right fine, wont be the first time wont be the last time.
A year later I get some random joke forwarded to me from her. And it just turned out to be her testing me to see if I would bother to respond if I had any interest in talking to her again. I did and we started talking again.
So, GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, she is going to come visit me.
That was awesome, but then the mood changed because she was having issues with her ex. UNBEKNOWNST to me, she was living with him still..... /facepalm. I didnt know, I had no idea. And he was the reason she disappeared for a year, because things were serious with him.
All right fine.
So then, GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, or screwed up news if you will, she says she is going to come visit me. Yay.......
Then, the guy kills himself. Shot himself at their house, and she found him. $#!+
He had numerous OTHER problems, but still, I don't want to think I made that happen. Did I make it happen? DId I force the issue? Push him over the edge?
So she is emotionally destroyed of course. Why wouldnt she be. After many late nights doing my best to help her, and keep her mind off of suicide, which was drifting in that direction, she still came to visit me.
Yeah, it was painfully awkward. She went back home, and didnt really talk to me all that much after that.
Was part of her blaming me?
Can I really cause someone to commit suicide by living my own life with someone that someones else knows?
In the end, she married a guy she picked up hitchhiking. Still not making any of this up.
Should I blame myself?
I didnt know all the facts about her situation, because I wasnt told. Am I to blame?
Yes there were other factors to why he did it, but.......gawd.
Oh, and by the way, I still talk to her also.......

I also knew a guy that I was friends with in high school that I kept in touch with up until a year ago, when he killed himself.
Apparently he was bipolar. I had no idea. He was out there, but I didnt think to ask myself if he was mentally ill.
How am I supposed to know if someone is suicidal.
They didnt exactly broadcast it.
He just had a baby son, very shortly before he did it.
He was happy about that.
No one in his family saw it coming. Course if they did see it coming, would they actually SAY THAT?
Did I screw up again by not seeing anything?
How can you help someone if you dont know there is a problem?
Why would someone suicidal come up to you and say, hey, Im suicidal, help me. Do they do that?





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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
Quick and dirty answer: in neither case were you culpable. In both cases, you feel bad because you suspect that there was an alternative open to you which would have resulted in the suicide being avoided. I've no reason to believe you have been callously or deliberately cultivating ignorance about mental illness, so I wouldn't even suggest that you've failed in your duties as a human by not being trained to recognize signs of potential suicide.

But, once we've acknowledged that we don't owe it to others to do better than you have, I think it's reasonable to think about whether there's anything we'd like to do better in the future. If these experiences leave you motivated to volunteer with Take This or read up on recognizing mental illness in friends and family and supporting them, that might be a way for you to feel like these experiences had at least some positive effect. There's something pretty appealing about positioning yourself to maybe save someone's life, should the opportunity arise.
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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide



First Hugs for you... it is hard to deal with a suicide within your personal circle.

That said here is my take on what you are asking:

TheDashi wrote:

I also knew a guy that I was friends with in high school that I kept in touch with up until a year ago, when he killed himself.
Apparently he was bipolar. I had no idea. He was out there, but I didnt think to ask myself if he was mentally ill.
How am I supposed to know if someone is suicidal.
They didnt exactly broadcast it.
He just had a baby son, very shortly before he did it.
He was happy about that.

Part of the reality of mental illness is that some people have up times and down times. Unless you know them fairly well and have very consistent contact with them, you are unlikely to be aware of the down times.

With my depression, on a really REALLY bad day I don't get out of bed other than for the most basic of necessities (bathroom and maybe to eat at some point) nor do I answer the phone etc. Very few people in my in person real life even know I have days like that. When I am back to normal I just tell people who ask that something came up and I couldn't answer the phone that day.

Now I don't experience a lot of suicidal ideations so I am not in danger on those rare but still real, very bad days, Thank God, but others often do struggle with suicidal impulses at points in their life. Even when great things are going on. Like having a baby. If anything for some people swings of really good emotions can help trigger a swing into the really bad. Kind of like a teeter totter. Again I am happy I don't have that issue, but from the bipolar people I have known, that cycle from really high to really low back and forth is often part of their illness.

Quote:

No one in his family saw it coming. Course if they did see it coming, would they actually SAY THAT?
Did I screw up again by not seeing anything?
How can you help someone if you dont know there is a problem

I think you can help anybody or at least be in a position to help anybody by being a "Safe Person" for them.

There is a good book out there on Safe People* and how to find them for yourself, but part of reading it can also help one learn to become a Safe Person for others.

NOTE of Disclosure: This particular book is written by mental health professionals, but from a Christian Perspective. It is one of the best out there IMO. But I am sure there are books from a secular perspective that cover most of the same basics.






Quote:

Why would someone suicidal come up to you and say, hey, Im suicidal, help me. Do they do that?



Sometimes they do... again especially if they think of you as a Safe Person in their life.


There are a very few people, but some do exist, who I would answer the phone on even my worst days. And others who I have and would again reach out to long before it got far enough for me to be in real danger of killing myself.

But I have found some "Safe People" and work to keep them in my life.

And I know I am considered one of the "Safe People" for quite a few of the people I care about. And they have reached out to me in some of their darkest hours.

So while nobody can know for sure that any specific person would reach out if they hit rock bottom to anybody, you can lay the ground work to be known as somebody who could be safely reached toward if a friend wanted/needed that kind of help.

Hugs again and hopes that you find peace of mind after the loss of your friend.



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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
Sorry, dude. I've only ever dealt with attempted suicide and my brother's all-but-suicide via drugs, but it's hard. There's a lot of self-blame. It sounds to me like you did the right thing as far as you could without knowing the situation. I hope she eventually forgives herself, because you pretty much have to.
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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
So, true story.

When I was an undergrad at WSU, I was renting a house with my gaming buddy-coworker Gordo. It was a three bedroom house, and previously the third room has gone to this cool guy Brian getting his Anthropology major. Well, he graduated in the winter, leaving Gordo and I short a roomie for apring semester. We put out an ad in the school paper and this nice Korean kid named John (Jeung) comes by. His parents will pay his rent, and we're like 'sure'! The best roomie is one who pays his rent, we're thinking.

Well, the semester goes by and John isnt going to class much, just drinking copius amounts of Rolling Rock. But shit, while Gordo and I were just getting back into taking college seriously, we'd been disaffected and both had dropped out fir a bit. So we talked, but figured it best to give Jon his space.

Then, John started burning his personal records and giving away his stuff. He's also talking about these paranoid ravings involving Winona Ryder; which probably lets you know hiw long ago this was. Anyway, this is a clear BAD SIGN. We call the student health desk for advice and they say they cant do anything on the say so of a roomie; contact the parents. Jon is talking to his brother though, so we figure, again, let the guy have his space.

In the middle of finals Jon went over the border to Idaho where he could get a shotgun with no waiting period and blew his head off. We found out when the police came by to have us identify him.

So the next morning comes, and Im too shaken to finish my paper, so Gordo and I go to the student health center so I can get an extension. I have to fill out a silly purple form about what is bothering me, and I put down Im angry. The counselor finally sees mw and asks why? And I'm so furious- we had tried to do the right things- contact the authorities, talk to him, give hom space- and he was dead. And here she is asking me how I FEEL. Im angry as fuck!! At her, at Jon, at myself.

So, Gordo and I took a couple days off of work and just got SERIOUSLY drunk. Had our own little wake for John.

Ill never drink Rolling Rock again; though, thats not much of a loss.

The hardest part was when Jon's parents came to get his stuff and all he had left was a blanket. His mother just clenched it and broke down in taers as Gordo and I had nothing to say; just this sense of guilt that we could have, SHOULD HAVE, done something but we didn't.

Gordo and I kept the house, but didnt get another roommate. Fortunately, Herb, the landlord, didnt really fuck with us that much over rent.

At a certain point you will drive yourself mad over what you could or should have done. At a certain point you just have to take ownership of the past but not let it trap your future- learn, adapt, do better.

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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
Confession time here: a long time ago, I used to be friends with someone who had multiple personality disorder and had had bouts with depression -- and had had the good sense to get herself checked in somewhere.

Unfortunately, though, getting checked *out* of a mental health facility can largely just mean you're functional enough, while you're still dealing with your illness to a very large degree.

It was here that I really found my limits as a friend -- I had just recently started up a new relationship with someone (who'd later become my wife), and the 3AM phone calls... I just couldn't keep up eventually. I still feel bad about it -- because, after all, doing the right thing meant *telling* her why I couldn't be her friend anymore, which was certainly an abandonment (to a small degree) of someone who needed help in more ways than one.

I remember talking to one or two of the other personalities, which was creepy as hell.

As far as I know, though, which isn't much, she's still alive, and dealing as best she knows how, which might be enough.
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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
TheDashi wrote:
So yeah, I guess I got inspired to put on display even more torturous aspects of my life.
I guess I just want the punishment.
Here are two instances.....

Anyways, if you found the other thread hard to believe, this might be harder to believe, maybe? But this is all true.

So this one time, on eharmony, I started talking with a girl, many states away. It was good, she was nice. Then poof, vanished.
All right fine, wont be the first time wont be the last time.
A year later I get some random joke forwarded to me from her. And it just turned out to be her testing me to see if I would bother to respond if I had any interest in talking to her again. I did and we started talking again.
So, GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, she is going to come visit me.
That was awesome, but then the mood changed because she was having issues with her ex. UNBEKNOWNST to me, she was living with him still..... /facepalm. I didnt know, I had no idea. And he was the reason she disappeared for a year, because things were serious with him.
All right fine.
So then, GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, or screwed up news if you will, she says she is going to come visit me. Yay.......
Then, the guy kills himself. Shot himself at their house, and she found him. $#!+
He had numerous OTHER problems, but still, I don't want to think I made that happen. Did I make it happen? DId I force the issue? Push him over the edge?
So she is emotionally destroyed of course. Why wouldnt she be. After many late nights doing my best to help her, and keep her mind off of suicide, which was drifting in that direction, she still came to visit me.
Yeah, it was painfully awkward. She went back home, and didnt really talk to me all that much after that.
Was part of her blaming me?
Can I really cause someone to commit suicide by living my own life with someone that someones else knows?
In the end, she married a guy she picked up hitchhiking. Still not making any of this up.
Should I blame myself?
I didnt know all the facts about her situation, because I wasnt told. Am I to blame?
Yes there were other factors to why he did it, but.......gawd.
Oh, and by the way, I still talk to her also.......

I also knew a guy that I was friends with in high school that I kept in touch with up until a year ago, when he killed himself.
Apparently he was bipolar. I had no idea. He was out there, but I didnt think to ask myself if he was mentally ill.
How am I supposed to know if someone is suicidal.
They didnt exactly broadcast it.
He just had a baby son, very shortly before he did it.
He was happy about that.
No one in his family saw it coming. Course if they did see it coming, would they actually SAY THAT?
Did I screw up again by not seeing anything?
How can you help someone if you dont know there is a problem?
Why would someone suicidal come up to you and say, hey, Im suicidal, help me. Do they do that?

You could take care of more people if you gave your entire life up. You still couldn't take care of everyone.

All of us have to find a boundary between caring and not being callous and living our own life.

Some people give indications of suicidal thoughts. Some people use suicidal statements to manipulate others when they have no suicidal intentions. Some people commit suicide to manipulate others. Some people just took a new medication and without warning kill themselves because suicidal thoughts are a side effect.

You can look out a little better in the future but there was probably not much you could have done and it's in the past so learn from it but move on. Certainly nothing you could do from another state tho I'm glad he didn't kill her (all too common).

I wouldn't blame myself rationally in such situations tho I might irrationally. Hope this helps.
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Re: My Personal Experience with Suicide
Even if I were to be granted specific absolution from her. I still feel at least somewhat responsible for causing someone to die. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
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sheesh, I go away for a few days and Dashi gets in touch with his feelings.
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For anyone with any doubt about their role in any suicide ever, keep these two things in mind. It is really, really, really easy to lie and it is really, really, really easy to die.

To elaborate, people generally put on a good face when times are bad for the sake of not being the downer and other people are generally willing to accept that at face value for the sake of honoring each others privacy. Taken together these two things make it very easy for anyone to hide how they are really feeling, even if people notice that they seem a bit down it can often be almost impossible to differentiate "Bob had a flat" and "Bob is going to set himself on fire tonight" from one another.

The problem is further amplified by actually suicidal people not generally broadcasting that they are actually suicidal, at least not at the times when they are actively about to commit suicide. Talking about being suicidal is usually a cry for help, you're seeking some sort of support or solution from other people. When you're actually considering committing the act in the near future the best way to do that is to keep mum, since obviously telling people is going to make it more difficult to pull off. It's not a hard rule of course but it seems consistent with average reports and it does match my own experiences as a dabbler in all parts of the process prior to pulling the trigger.

So it's often close to impossible to figure out just how extreme the situation is which makes that whole "it's really easy to die" thing quite an issue. Humans are fragile things, you can find countless cases of surviving accidents and the like but far more of seemingly minor incidents turning lethal. Once you add in intention that fragility means that basically anyone with the will that is not currently physically restrained can likely find some method to end their life within half an hour tops. Kitchens have knives, cars going 50+ mph are everywhere and we have covered the world in vertical structures perfect for diving. If they want it, it's done.

The point is that you'd have to be a borderline superhuman in most cases to prevent this from happening, it's just not realistic to accept any blame.
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I don't think you're responsible at all.

You wouldn't be responsible for his suicide even if she were leaving him for you and otherwise would have chosen to stay with him, and most likely that's not the case -- she went silent on you to give things with him a chance and when she reached out to you (from the story you're just a guy she liked on a dating site) it wasn't choosing true love over Mr. Almost but an indication that she was moving on. You didn't end their relationship, let alone cause his suicide.

I do think that these stories are a good reminder of why it's valuable to check in with people and be pro-actively empathetic. But even then you're not going to find most situations in which someone is really hurting or depressed.
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jeremycobert wrote:
sheesh, I go away for a few days and Dashi gets in touch with his feelings.
Finally he's posting like a human being instead of a troll.We can quibble about what kind of human being maybe but I welcome anyone into RSP who posts like a human being. Dashi is no exception.
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whac3 wrote:
jeremycobert wrote:
sheesh, I go away for a few days and Dashi gets in touch with his feelings.
Finally he's posting like a human being instead of a troll.We can quibble about what kind of human being maybe but I welcome anyone into RSP who posts like a human being. Dashi is no exception.

And good God it's a breath of fresh air.
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Suicide is rough. Sorry you had to deal with it twice.

It also engenders a lot of kneejerk feelings that are hard to shake. On the one hand, almost everyone who knew the person has a feeling of culpability: you could have done more, or something differently. You could have reached out, or (if their illness is obvious), tried to have them committed. But that's not a productive line of thought, and it's not your burden to carry. On the other hand, there's the anger with the person committed suicide, who is, in my opinion, not much more culpable than anyone else. For a physically healthy person, suicide is not a rational decision, and you can try all you want to make sense of it, but it's not going to add up.

I have had two close friends kill themselves, in addition to a couple of acquaintances. The wound never heals, or even really scabs over. I still wonder what could have been done to change things, even though I know there isn't anything (especially now). Those feelings are normal, and they're a sign that something is firing correctly in your brain. The best you can do is accept that the pain and doubt are an inextricable part of this experience, be there for the people who matter to you (which is a pretty broad circle, in this case), and remember the fallout and seek help immediately if you ever start considering suicide.
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jeremycobert wrote:
sheesh, I go away for a few days and Dashi gets in touch with his feelings.

I guess I can blame you then.
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You're not remotely culpable for either incident.

You didn't know the ex, and not pursuing someone you're romantically interested in because the ex is emotionally fragile is *not a good reason for pursuing said someone*.

If you would have been a better partner to her - and you would have been, given that you've proven to be emotionally more robust than the ex - then she was right to pursue you and you right to pursue her.

For the ex to say explicitly or implicitly "Don't leave me or I'll kill myself" is not an act of love for her. It's a hostage situation.
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tmcvey wrote:
You're not remotely culpable for either incident.

You didn't know the ex, and not pursuing someone you're romantically interested in because the ex is emotionally fragile is *not a good reason for pursuing said someone*.

If you would have been a better partner to her - and you would have been, given that you've proven to be emotionally more robust than the ex - then she was right to pursue you and you right to pursue her.

For the ex to say explicitly or implicitly "Don't leave me or I'll kill myself" is not an act of love for her. It's a hostage situation.

I feel less culpable in my friends death, than her ex boyfriend.
If I was say, the last straw, is that different than just being part of the piling on?
 
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Hey, interesting post.

No doubt you don't actually feel like you could have stopped them, right? I do understand the internal impact something like that has on others. Coincidentally, when I began dating the woman who begat my youngest boy (around the year 2000) she had previously been dating a guy who she told me was overly jealous, stalking her, etc. He actually confronted her when her and I and two other couples went out dancing one evening and was backed off by us.

Then two days later he shot himself.

So, similar? Sure. But honestly as bad as I felt, not actually knowing the guy, and as bad as she felt, having dated him, it really was beyond anything anyone could control. It really is amazing how many people commit suicide and nobody seems to be able to get a purchase on what actually causes events to spin that way. Here's a real bummer, a few days ago the professor at Boise State who had run a suicide prevention hot line program for over a decade killed himself!

http://www.boiseweekly.com/boise/peter-wollheim-idaho-mental...

The stat that really freaks me out on this subject is the one that keeps being reported claiming suicide rates are rising. Mental health care has advanced by leaps and bounds, or so we are led to believe, but one of the most tragic end results of the mental illness is actually growing in the face of these *advances*. WTF?

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Drew1365 wrote:
DWTripp wrote:
The stat that really freaks me out on this subject is the one that keeps being reported claiming suicide rates are rising.

But mostly among men, so nobody cares.

There is some harsh truth to that. Certainly that's the case here in Idaho, as the article I linked pointed out. I don't know enough about the history of suicide rates to make any claims but the articles I've read indicate that men are the most ignored when mentally ill and that funding specifically directed to men is woefully inadequate when compared to women's mental health programs.

OTOH, I have also read articles that claim suicide rates among young women have been steadily rising over the last couple of decades. Nobody is immune regardless of race, gender, etc. That's unsettling.
 
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DWTripp wrote:
Hey, interesting post.

No doubt you don't actually feel like you could have stopped them, right? I do understand the internal impact something like that has on others. Coincidentally, when I began dating the woman who begat my youngest boy (around the year 2000) she had previously been dating a guy who she told me was overly jealous, stalking her, etc. He actually confronted her when her and I and two other couples went out dancing one evening and was backed off by us.

Then two days later he shot himself.

So, similar? Sure. But honestly as bad as I felt, not actually knowing the guy, and as bad as she felt, having dated him, it really was beyond anything anyone could control. It really is amazing how many people commit suicide and nobody seems to be able to get a purchase on what actually causes events to spin that way. Here's a real bummer, a few days ago the professor at Boise State who had run a suicide prevention hot line program for over a decade killed himself!

http://www.boiseweekly.com/boise/peter-wollheim-idaho-mental...

The stat that really freaks me out on this subject is the one that keeps being reported claiming suicide rates are rising. Mental health care has advanced by leaps and bounds, or so we are led to believe, but one of the most tragic end results of the mental illness is actually growing in the face of these *advances*. WTF?


Do I feel like I could have stopped them? No. Do I feel instrumental in causing one of them? Yeah.
I know I shouldn't, well I guess I don't know because I cant stop thinking that I must have been party responsible.
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TheDashi wrote:
DWTripp wrote:
Hey, interesting post.

No doubt you don't actually feel like you could have stopped them, right? I do understand the internal impact something like that has on others. Coincidentally, when I began dating the woman who begat my youngest boy (around the year 2000) she had previously been dating a guy who she told me was overly jealous, stalking her, etc. He actually confronted her when her and I and two other couples went out dancing one evening and was backed off by us.

Then two days later he shot himself.

So, similar? Sure. But honestly as bad as I felt, not actually knowing the guy, and as bad as she felt, having dated him, it really was beyond anything anyone could control. It really is amazing how many people commit suicide and nobody seems to be able to get a purchase on what actually causes events to spin that way. Here's a real bummer, a few days ago the professor at Boise State who had run a suicide prevention hot line program for over a decade killed himself!

http://www.boiseweekly.com/boise/peter-wollheim-idaho-mental...

The stat that really freaks me out on this subject is the one that keeps being reported claiming suicide rates are rising. Mental health care has advanced by leaps and bounds, or so we are led to believe, but one of the most tragic end results of the mental illness is actually growing in the face of these *advances*. WTF?


Do I feel like I could have stopped them? No. Do I feel instrumental in causing one of them? Yeah.
I know I shouldn't, well I guess I don't know because I cant stop thinking that I must have been party responsible.

Don't do that to yourself. If you had acted differently, then it would have been someone else who triggered it. People don't kill themselves because of what others do. They do it because life and biochemistry have already cocked the hammer on them. Lament the loss of a friend, but know that it wasn't your fault.
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John O'Haver
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My step sister committed suicide in the late Eighties by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. She'd already been convicted of 1 DUI and was awaiting trial on her second arrest when she was arrested for a third time. Left no note but family thinks the idea that the three strike rule in California meant mandatory incarceration was the motivation. She had moved there from Indiana some years earlier.

She was the daughter of my Dad's 3rd wife. We never lived under the same roof. We weren't close but we had one year of overlap in high school and we crossed trails at Indiana University a time or two after that. She was pretty and bright. She had tested out of her senior year of high school but she and her older brother were among the first few to be arrested in Columbus, Indiana for smoking dope in the Sixties.

All I felt was sadness for Betty losing a child so early.

My college roommate tried to commit suicide twice. The first time he slit his wrist in the dorm room but went to student health when he quit bleeding. The second time he tried pills on night I was staying with a girlfriend. He was discovered when the tape in my reel to reel tape deck ran out and other people on the floor heard the tell tale slap of the end of the tape as the take up reel kept spinning.

This was all about unrequited love. Eventually he did marry the girl but they divorced years after that.
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bbenston wrote:
Confession time here: a long time ago, I used to be friends with someone who had multiple personality disorder and had had bouts with depression -- and had had the good sense to get herself checked in somewhere.

Unfortunately, though, getting checked *out* of a mental health facility can largely just mean you're functional enough, while you're still dealing with your illness to a very large degree.

It was here that I really found my limits as a friend -- I had just recently started up a new relationship with someone (who'd later become my wife), and the 3AM phone calls... I just couldn't keep up eventually. I still feel bad about it -- because, after all, doing the right thing meant *telling* her why I couldn't be her friend anymore, which was certainly an abandonment (to a small degree) of someone who needed help in more ways than one.

I remember talking to one or two of the other personalities, which was creepy as hell.

As far as I know, though, which isn't much, she's still alive, and dealing as best she knows how, which might be enough.

Hold up. You were dating someone, who told you to stop being friends with a friend who was going through suicidality, and instead of dumping her, you went along with it and married her?

Get a divorce before you have kids.

If that didn't happen -- if it was just too draining on you personally and you came to that conclusion yourself -- that's totally fine. Do not listen to an internet stranger and get a divorce. I'm just reading into what you said, I'm not sure, but this is RSP, so the bar is super low.
 
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Terwox wrote:
bbenston wrote:
Confession time here: a long time ago, I used to be friends with someone who had multiple personality disorder and had had bouts with depression -- and had had the good sense to get herself checked in somewhere.

Unfortunately, though, getting checked *out* of a mental health facility can largely just mean you're functional enough, while you're still dealing with your illness to a very large degree.

It was here that I really found my limits as a friend -- I had just recently started up a new relationship with someone (who'd later become my wife), and the 3AM phone calls... I just couldn't keep up eventually. I still feel bad about it -- because, after all, doing the right thing meant *telling* her why I couldn't be her friend anymore, which was certainly an abandonment (to a small degree) of someone who needed help in more ways than one.

I remember talking to one or two of the other personalities, which was creepy as hell.

As far as I know, though, which isn't much, she's still alive, and dealing as best she knows how, which might be enough.

Hold up. You were dating someone, who told you to stop being friends with a friend who was going through suicidality, and instead of dumping her, you went along with it and married her?

Get a divorce before you have kids.

If that didn't happen -- if it was just too draining on you personally and you came to that conclusion yourself -- that's totally fine. Do not listen to an internet stranger and get a divorce. I'm just reading into what you said, I'm not sure, but this is RSP, so the bar is super low.

Dont see anything in his post that says that....
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Drew1365 wrote:
DWTripp wrote:
The stat that really freaks me out on this subject is the one that keeps being reported claiming suicide rates are rising.

But mostly among men, so nobody cares.

I wish you weren't somewhat right.

It might be related to gender norms -- bear with me -- 25% of women will experience clinical depression at some point during their lives, 10% of men will -- 25% of men will go through alcohol abuse at some point during their lives, 10% of women will.

Another related concept is that men tend to deal w/ depression through avoidance, while women deal w/ depression through rumination. (This blurs the concept, as alcohol abuse can easily be seen as "avoiding depression," but pretending mental health isn't blurry is counter-productive.)

Essentially, a very active way of avoiding depression is suicide. The rate going up over time, well... pointing at a cause for that is... fraught with error.

This might just be a genetic thing, but I figure it's also partially sociocultural.
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