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Subject: XenoBeta.com, now with campaign tracking rss

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Skaak
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Intern Agent Skaak crouched glumly on the floor of the shuttle. Things were quiet. The full GD agents had already defeated all the local xenos and advanced further across the Moon; possibly they had even made it to the alien home world already.

Which wasn't a problem, per se, except that the only things they left behind to eat were astronaut "spaghetti" and freeze-dried astronaut pistachio-flavored "ice cream." And after a solid week huddling in the shuttle, Skaak was well and truly sick of both.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted his grumpy reverie. "Human look! Xeno-Beta find toy!"

Skaak glanced over to find the Xeno-Beta lugging what looked like a huge metal coffin embossed with the glowing V-like symbol of the alien army. "What on earth is that?!"

"Xeno-Beta find! Human try on! Much good fun!" The Xeno-Beta dumped the thing at Skaak's feet with a *clang* and began busying itself with what appeared to be latches.

Skaak noticed what looked like a block of text in the alien language. "What does this say?"

The Xeno-Beta paused to look at the text. "Xeno-Beta read...'enemy bio-armor. Under no condition release. Lots dangerous.'" The Xeno-Beta paused thoughtfully, then grinned. "Good fun! Use for find good food, maybe moon-babe!" It flicked open the last latch and with a pneumatic hiss the coffin began to open.

Skaak scrambled backward desperately as a dark, brooding piece of what looked like living armor rose out from the fog and turned glowing eyes on him.

The Xeno-Beta didn't appear to notice the thing's ominous behavior. "Xeno-Beta not just find fun box! Also make good tool for adventure!"

From the darkened corner where the bio-armor had driven Intern Agent Skaak came metallic clangs and high-pitched shrieks of discomfort, but the Xeno-Beta was busily scrounging through the far side of the hold for a piece of scrap metal.

"Look look, human like! Helpful tool for record adventures!" The Xeno-Beta busily began scratching away at its piece of scrap metal.

The bio-armor came striding back across the hold, Skaak nowhere in sight, until it opened its mouth and said in a rasping version of Skaak's voice, "What the hell, man?!"

The Xeno-Beta didn't appear to care, but just shoved the scrap metal into the bio-armor's hands. "We go fight diggers now! Find tasty food, keep track with tool!"

The bio-armor lifted the scrap metal to its glowing eyes, Skaak already knowing what he was going to see. Scratched across its length was XENOBETA.COM/APP.
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