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Subject: This game is sorely missing... rss

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Paul DeStefano
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Women.

Seriously. This is a fantasy game. Where's the cleavage? The scantily clad sorceress? The bikini chainmail amazons? The witch in skin tight robes?

The only female I can find (Identifiably - for all I can tell, those ARE female hobgoblins) is the rogue. She isn't used in many scenarios, and she isn't exactly inviting looking.

Am I the only person who noticed this? Surely a staple of fantasy as important as wizards and goblins, right?

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Donald Roeber
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They'll be in the black box expansion that you can purchase behind the Days of Wonder booth at GenCon this year.

Funny thing was, when I read your topic title, I thought the same thing.
 
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Bill Bennett
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And, coincidentally, this is what the New Line execs said to Peter Jackson after they read the first draft of his Lord of the Rings script.
shake
 
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Steve R Bullock
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Believe me, if more than 3 LOTR movies had been made SEX would have had to be introduced. Great movie making and storyline can only go so far...
 
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Mark McEvoy
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I understand it's almost impossible to tell a clothed male dwarf from a clothed female dwarf.

As for the rest - well, it's a fantasy game, but it is a fantasy _combat_ game. Fantasy cleavage tends to be absent from such stories, and reserved for more stealthy or social fantasy environments.
 
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Mike Frantz
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I mean, if Fantasy Flight would have made this game, you can be damn sure that cleric wouldn't be some fat dude....it'd be a hot chick sportin' 42 DDDD's. WHich, while I do enjoy that approach, always makes me a tad uncomfortable when I break the game out with the kiddies.
 
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Sifu
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chuckles2000 wrote:
that cleric wouldn't be some fat dude....it'd be a hot chick sportin' 42 DDDD's.


It's ironic that gluttony and god should travel together so often - but perhaps no more so than the alternative you mentioned.
 
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Brian Morris
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Bikini chainmail amazons sounds like a good idea for one of the future expansion armies. They definately will be more pleasing to the eye than undead.
 
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Mike Frantz
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mrbeankc wrote:
Bikini chainmail amazons sounds like a good idea for one of the future expansion armies. They definately will be more pleasing to the eye than undead.


Undead Bikini chainmail amazons?

Don't tell me that wouldn't sell out in a heartbeat.
 
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Paul DeStefano
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chuckles2000 wrote:
mrbeankc wrote:
Bikini chainmail amazons sounds like a good idea for one of the future expansion armies. They definately will be more pleasing to the eye than undead.


Undead Bikini chainmail amazons?

Don't tell me that wouldn't sell out in a heartbeat.


Guess you like em real thin, huh?
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David
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Geosphere wrote:
Women.

Seriously. This is a fantasy game. Where's the cleavage? The scantily clad sorceress? The bikini chainmail amazons? The witch in skin tight robes?

The only female I can find (Identifiably - for all I can tell, those ARE female hobgoblins) is the rogue. She isn't used in many scenarios, and she isn't exactly inviting looking.

Am I the only person who noticed this? Surely a staple of fantasy as important as wizards and goblins, right?



No, no, no. That's a staple of BAD fantasy. I have slightly higher hopes for this game.

Besides, Amazons wouldn't wear chainmail and a metal bikini's gotta chafe something fierce.
 
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Paul DeStefano
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Shryke wrote:
Besides, Amazons wouldn't wear chainmail and a metal bikini's gotta chafe something fierce.


So the mages can lob fireballs but can't figure out how to make chafe-free chainmail bikini's? Roll with it, its fantasy.
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John O'Haver
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For some reason I just tried to imagine a chainmail thong.
 
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David
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I can practically guarantee that that Giant Spider is female...
 
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Jonathan Tang
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Mmmm... female giant spider....
 
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Sounds like you guys have been holed up in the basement with your bro's a little too long; perhaps you should box up the boardgame, slap some jelly in that hair, and go work on that whole "social interaction" thing!

Who knows, maybe you'll end up married to a hottie who will humor you with those "chain-mail thongs" from time to time. This could cut the masturbation in half and I'm willing to speculate here --you may not be looking for quite so much in your boardgame boxes!!!

All is love,

Squatting Monkey
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giorgos konstantinou
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Good point.. I'll have to disagree, though, about the hobgoblin, rogue beauty being not attractive.. What's your problem, man? You don't like women in uniform?
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Paul DeStefano
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konstan wrote:
Good point.. I'll have to disagree, though, about the hobgoblin, rogue beauty being not attractive.. What's your problem, man? You don't like women in uniform?


NEVER said not attractive. Said not inviting. It looks like anyone who gets too close WILL be considered female afterwards.
 
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David G.
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jttm wrote:
Mmmm... female giant spider....


Isn't "Female Giant Spider" position #185 of the Karma Sutra?
 
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Wray Cason
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I know that this reply will be too serious for this discussion but I am glad that this game doesn't have fantasy bombshells. There is just too much of that sort of things elsewhere. I specifially ruled out Descent for that very reason. Call me a prude if you are inclined to but there is enough unhealthy influence for my children out there. I don't like on the table in front of us while we are spending time together.
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Dr. Dam
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My solution is to overfeed my troops and undertrain them. That way there is a good chance they will develop man-boobs. Now you can all have a fantasy game with cleavage and not degrade women. Damn I'm good!
 
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Matt Smith
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Man, that is just wrong on so many levels. Pretty funny, tho.
 
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Paul DeStefano
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scribidinus wrote:
For some reason I just tried to imagine a chainmail thong.


Chainmail Thong is a great name for an all girl metal band.
 
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