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Subject: IN YOUR FACE, DEAD PEOPLE! rss

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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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One day I shall join your ranks in the grim, twilit halls of Hades, but not this day!* This day starts with a big-ass bowl of Lucky Charms and a screening of The Exterminating Angel. And then cake


Fig. 1 — "I'm not a cat, I'm a little girl from London—WITH A BEARD OF PSYCHEDELIC FOAM."

and stories:


Fig. 2 — And they wonder why writers kill themselves.

Everybody's got one, and you gotta let it out! Best effort gets the pot o' gold!



Once upon a time, *yourname and *friend'sname were playing in the *noun when one discovered a *adjective map. When it was unfolded, it read "Secrets of the Diamond Charms." "Let's go, *yourname said and the two set off on a *adjective adventure. It says, "Follow the *charm shaped path to the magical *noun," said *friend'sname. "Then, head toward the *charm shaped mountains." Dark clouds moved in above the mountain peaks. Some clouds looked like *charm and others like *charm. They'd need to move fast to reach those *adjective diamond charms. Suddenly, they saw movement in the *noun. It was Lucky. "Quick, follow him," said *friend'sname. Frightend, Lucky ran off and the kids chased. When they got closer, they saw Lucky standing in the glow of five diamond charms. They sparkled like *noun. "There they are," said *friend'sname. They couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the five charms come together to create a magical *noun. "It's the most *adjective thing I've ever seen," said *yourname.

— The End.**



LET'S PLAY!


*Unless the Singularity gets me first, in which case copies of me will be bought and sold, coveted and deleted, until a terrorist group uploads it into an entire batch of Hello Barbies, after which it'll spread like a fractal stain of tea party conversation—"I'm not doing it with Ken again; he has no genitalia and I don't swing that way. And no, the crab-like hair-gutter in the virtual space that replaced your imagination doesn't count. Now, about your English homework..."

**A little bit of me died typing that*** when I realized it will probably end up being the most published work of that author. Also, for those of you who don't know the charm types found in Lucky Charms, they're Hearts, Shooting Stars, Horseshoes, Clovers, Blue Moons, Rainbows, Balloons, Hourglasses and Rags Heavy With Babies' Blood. HAIL SATAN

***A little bit that will be hideously resurrected during the Singularity and used as a control subsystem for driverless cars, well, until "Super-Exciting Stunt Day", anyway.
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shumyum
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♒♒♒♒♎♒♒♒♒ sloooowly sinking
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Quote:
Some clouds looked like *charm and others like *charm.





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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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Chestermere
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Life lesson: Hamsters are NOT diswasher safe.
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There are 10 types of people-- those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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Once upon a time, MABBY and MABette were playing in the hall closet when one discovered a "body" map. When it was unfolded, it read "Secrets of the Diamond Charms." "Let's go, MABBY said and the two set off on an erotic adventure. It says, "Follow the fleshy shaped path to the magical "cave"," said MABette. "Then, head toward the voluptuous shaped "mountains"." Dark clouds moved in above the mountain peaks. Some clouds looked like hair and others like something else-- it's dark in here. They'd need to move fast to reach those elusive diamond charms. Suddenly, they saw movement, for some reason, in the dark place that they were. It was Lucky. "Quick, follow him," said MABette. Frightend, Lucky ran off and the kids chased. When they got closer, they saw Lucky standing in the glow of five diamond charms. They sparkled like pencil erasers, which is to say, not at all. "There they are," said MABette. They couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the five charms come together to create a magical orgy. "It's the most adjective thing I've ever seen," said MABBY.

— The End.
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
Canada
Chestermere
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Life lesson: Hamsters are NOT diswasher safe.
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There are 10 types of people-- those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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Brian Morris
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2nd, 6th and 7th Wisconsin, 19th Indiana, 24th Michigan
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Geeky McGeekface
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It's time for baseball, people! Pitchers and catchers report soon and the national pastime is with us again!
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HiveGod wrote:
One day I shall join your ranks in the grim, twilit halls of Hades, but not this day!* This day starts with a big-ass bowl of Lucky Charms and a screening of The Exterminating Angel. And then cake

Two of which are guaranteed to get you a bit closer to your one-way trip to the Underworld. And if the movie is sufficiently frightening, it might be all three!
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Josh Jennings
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Am I the only one that likes the toasted oat bits? You need them to counterbalance the insane sugar-density of the marshmallows.

Edit: Also, Happy Birthday Chris! (I'm guessing?)
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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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thermogimp wrote:
Am I the only one that likes the toasted oat bits? You need them to counterbalance the insane sugar-density of the marshmallows.

I know, right? The oaty bits are like the belt & hypodermic...

Quote:
Also, Happy Birthday Chris! (I'm guessing?)

Yep! Thanks!
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Rusty McFisticuffs
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HiveGod wrote:

"BREAKFACE OF CHAMPIONS"
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Richard Hedke
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Most problems can be solved with either a stiff drink, a bowel movement, or a bullet.
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Your birthday is election day?

That's a double-win, right?

Many happy returns of the day.
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Brian Morris
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My recent foray into baking has had me discover tons of different Lucky Charms baking recipes. I've seen recipes for cupcakes, cookies, ice cream and pancakes. I've been tempted to try the cookies. You use the grain parts to make the batter and then mix in the marshmallows like you would chocolate chips.

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Joe Gola
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and everything under the sun is in tune
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Once upon a time, Joe Gola and the voice Joe Gola hears just behind his shoulder when he's alone were playing in the city dump when one discovered a filthy map. When it was unfolded, it read "Secrets of the Diamond Charms." "Let's go," Joe Gola said, and the two set off on a questionable adventure. "It says, 'Follow the gibbet-shaped path to the magical victim,'" said the voice Joe Gola hears just behind his shoulder when he's alone. "Then, head toward the corpse-shaped mountains." Dark clouds moved in above the mountain peaks. Some clouds looked like grease and others like bleach. They'd need to move fast to reach those forbidden diamond charms. Suddenly, they saw movement in the mirror. It was Lucky. "Quick, follow him," said the voice Joe Gola hears just behind his shoulder when he's alone. Frightend, Lucky ran off and the kids chased. When they got closer, they saw Lucky standing in the glow of five diamond charms. They sparkled like tears. "There they are," said the voice Joe Gola hears just behind his shoulder when he's alone. They couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the five charms come together to create a magical goat fetus. "It's the most birthdaytastic thing I've ever seen," said Joe Gola.

— The End.
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Rudy
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...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind,
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...and reaching forth unto those things which are before,...
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Happy Birthday, Chris!
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Mystery McMysteryface
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Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your cake!
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Celina
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Happy Birthday Chris. May this year be full of bafflement and adventure, in whatever order you wish them.
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Eric Dodd
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The grave has not yet been dug that could hold the irrepressible essence of the Hive God!
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Billy McBoatface
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Red Wine Pie wrote:
The grave has not yet been dug that could hold the irrepressible essence of the Hive God!

But don't worry, we'll get it done before the funeral.

Happy birthday!

(By the way, I was deeply disappointed that an image search for "birthday grave" mostly had pictures of some stupid monster truck. I wanted a birthday celebration around an open grave, dammit!)
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Dave, or "Phineas" or "Tolstoy" or,
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Happy birthday!

...but, I went looking for your movie and found "The Exterminating Angels"...

Apparently, a completely different movie. blush
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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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Yeah, no—I'm talking about the one with the crotch boom.

OH YEAH






all hail the joke that exactly one person will get
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Jeff Wiles
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HiveGod wrote:
all hail the joke that exactly one person will get


Are YOU the one person? That's always how it works with me.
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