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Subject: How much of a modern man are you? rss

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Isaac Citrom
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27 Ways to Be a Modern Man

By BRIAN LOMBARDISEPT. 29, 2015

A version of this article appears in print on October 2, 2015, on page D11 of the New York edition [of the NY Times] with the headline: 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man.


Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle. Sure, fashion, technology and architecture change over time, as do standards of etiquette, not to mention ways of carrying oneself in the public sphere. But the modern man will take the bits from the past that strike him as relevant and blend them with the stuff of today.


1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.



As for myself, to be sure, I have a melon baller.
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I have a copy of 36 Chambers instead of a gun but that's about it for modernity.
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Trey Stone
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I love Mike Rowe's response...

http://louderwithcrowder.com/mike-rowe-obliterates-the-sjw-n...

Quote:
Don Philips

Hi Don

I don’t know what a “Man’s Man” is either, or if I am one, but I’m not inclined to argue with another man’s wife. However, I did read the Times piece, and I can tell you with some certainty that I do not appear to be a “Modern Man.” My own Guide - as a potential “Man’s Man” - is below.

New York Times: When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
Mike Rowe: A Man’s Man would not buy shoes for his spouse, or be familiar with the vagaries of various female footwear brands. He might offer to pay for them, and he would definitely compliment her choice. And if he knows the size of her feet, it’s only because he rubs them from time to time.

NYT: The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.
MR: A Man’s Man feels no shame in admitting uncertainty, because he knows that doing so will make him more certain. He’s transparent about his flaws and shortcomings, and makes no attempt to be more secure or knowledgeable or competent than he actually is.

NYT: The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.
MR: A Man’s Man is also considerate. But he would never consciously time his chewing to coincide with the noisy parts of the film. He does not walk on eggshells.

NYT: The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.
MR: A Man’s Man will clean his plate, assuming of course he’s the one who put the food on it. But he feels no obligation to suck the marrow out of a bone, or eat the bruise on the banana, or consume the cob as well as the corn. He does not equate his manliness with a willingness consume food that’s been poorly prepared.

NYT: The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.
MR: A Man’s Man knows it’s wiser to park closer to the exit than the entrance.

NYT: Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.
MR: A Man’s Man knows that self-reliance is born of experience. He encourages his kids to look after their own stuff, and suffer the consequences when they do not. The wife is another matter.

NYT: The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t drink children’s beverages. He drinks tap water, wine, coffee, beer, whiskey, or iced tea. He does however, keep soda pop on hand, on the off chance a modern man stops by.

NYT: The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
MR: A Man’s Man is less worried about using the right word, and more concerned with being understood. But under no circumstance, does he “dumb down” the language.

NYT: Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
MR: A Man’s Man is already a complete person. His identity does not depend upon sons, daughters, spouses, friends, or pets. He is not a loner, and he cherishes the relationships he has. But he knows that his “completion” is nothing but a reflection of knowing who he is.

NYT: The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
MR: A Man’s Man will always volunteer to wash the dishes. He may or may not put them away, but regardless, he understands the phenomenon of evaporation, and doesn’t concern himself with a codified system for drying.

NYT: The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.
MR: A Man’s Man does not know what that even means. But he rarely says “never.”

NYT: The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
MR: A Man’s Man uses Lava Soap. He uses it until it’s the size of a dime.

NYT: The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
MR: A Man’s Man watches reruns of Kung-Fu.

NYT: The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.
MR: A Man’s Man does not make lists. He knows what he likes, what he needs, and what he wants. If he has to write it down, he understands it was not worth having in the first place.

NYT: The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.
MR: A Man’s Man is not committed to any particular type of flooring. He doesn’t attempt to communicate with his children through his footsteps, and he doesn’t own oxfords, unless they’re steel-toed.

NYT: The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
MR: A Man’s Man knows that a struggle closest to the door will effectively block the exit through which his wife might flee. So he secures the house in a way that keeps intruders out, and sleeps wherever he wants.

NYT: The modern man has a melon baller. How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?
MR: The Man’s Man, if he serves fruit at all, prepares wedges, squares, and rectangles. He accomplishes this with a knife.

NYT: The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t think “seriously” about any purchase under $5.

NYT: The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.
MR: A Man’s Man picks wildflowers on the side of the road, wraps them with a bootlace, and presents them with an original, hand-written poem.

NYT: On occasion, the modern man is the “little spoon.” Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
MR: A Man’s Man will do whatever’s necessary to please his bedmate - not himself. But he roundly rejects all metaphors, especially those that involve utensils.

NYT: The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.
MR: A Man’s Man would laugh and then say “Bless you,” or “gesundheit.” Then, he’d make sure she wipes her nose and cleans up the crumbs.

NYT: The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.
MR: A Man’s Man does not amble. Moreover, he would have already impressed upon the paper boy the importance of getting the morning paper all the way up on the porch. Where it belongs.

NYT: The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time.)
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t own films - he rents them. He also values effectiveness over efficiency, and knows that the “latest technology” will be obsolete in a few months. For this reason, he makes no attempt to own the newest of anything.

NYT: The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.
MR: A Man’s Man prefers his gas tank full, his weapon loaded, his pantry stocked, and his checkbook balanced. He also likes his phone sufficiently charged, and takes the necessary steps to accomplish that.

NYT: The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
MR: A Man’s Man owns at least one firearm. He knows how to use it, clean it, and store it properly. He understands it’s importance, and sees it for what it is - a tool that can protect him and his family.

NYT: The modern man cries. He cries often.
MR: A Man’s Man cries if he feels like crying. But he rarely feels like it.
NYT: People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
MR: People know without question a Man’s Man does not dance. But they also know if called upon, he’ll give it his best shot...
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casey r lowe
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almost the entire list is focused on consumption and social status so i guess im not much of a modern man
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tstone wrote:
lol tstone wants to be "a mans man" that means belonging to another man so either a slave or gay married
 
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I feel like this guy is just describing himself - usually these lists are aspirational and center around a theme, but this literally feels like "these are things I do and stuff I like owning, I guess I'll just define myself as perfect."
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An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
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The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
Um...according to how you seem to be going on in my thread about Houston's voting...you aren't so certain.



Neither is the guy who wrote the first list, IMO.
 
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Stupid list which has the aura of Poe's Law about it. I like how the modern man still scoops up his crisp newspaper every morning. The New York Times, by any chance?

He is right about Michael Mann, though.

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tstone wrote:
The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
Um...according to how you seem to be going on in my thread about Houston's voting...you aren't so certain.

:D

Neither is the guy who wrote the first list, IMO.
You're too stupid to remember my position on transgender people from the first time we talked about this, you think I'm going to bother explaining it a second time? Protip: The people who disagree with you aren't all the same and you're just revealing how little you're paying attention when you try to lump us all into the same category.
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Trey Stone
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The Message wrote:
tstone wrote:
The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
Um...according to how you seem to be going on in my thread about Houston's voting...you aren't so certain.



Neither is the guy who wrote the first list, IMO.
You're too stupid to remember my position on transgender people from the first time we talked about this, you think I'm going to bother explaining it a second time? Protip: The people who disagree with you aren't all the same and you're just revealing how little you're paying attention when you try to lump us all into the same category.
It is ok, brother, this is the modern world. You can doubt your penis. Nobody will judge you...unless you take a conservative position on...anything really.

*snicker*

cool
 
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Anybody else get the impression that the point of the list is that the ideas of people telling you how to be are arbitrary, and that it's possible to put implausible or trivial claims in a profound-sounding way, so anyone attracted to such pronouncements needs to use double extra super critical thinking?
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The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
and listens to arcade fire

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rylfrazier wrote:
I feel like this guy is just describing himself - usually these lists are aspirational and center around a theme, but this literally feels like "these are things I do and stuff I like owning, I guess I'll just define myself as perfect."
And yet, the NY Times has an editorial staff. That is why we say, the NY Times said....
.
 
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isaacc wrote:
And yet, the NY Times has an editorial staff. That is why we say, the NY Times said....
.
but we dont say that (btw whats up with the ellipsis spillage)
 
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Drew1365 wrote:
It's stupid click-bait, and unfortunately it's how you make money on the internet -- clicks.

The end result is that websites (and once-respectable newspapers) now write the stupidest things because it'll get them clicks.

Quote:
If you think you’ve seen more of these recently—stories with no grounding in reality that 99 percent of the planet would never agree with and exist solely to get you to click and see if you’re not having a very swift stroke—well, you have. If you think standards for what is an acceptable story in respected news publications on the web have gotten lower in a chase for clicks, you’re right.

The Internet has quietly cemented its economy on saying the most extreme thing imaginable as loud as possible, and that economy is seeping into the dialogue of life and politics.

And here’s the thing: The people publishing stuff like this know that’s what’s happening. They know how to fix it. But they’re waiting in line, first, for the lottery that is the Era of the New Media Payday.
Who is this sensible poster and what the fuck have you done with Drew?
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I hate click-bait. It's run rampant. Recently at work click-bait was jamming up a research link from Virginia Tech Library. Ugh.gulp I have my partisan blogs but I try to hold to the BBC, The Economist, and Foreign Affairs when I want news or analysis.
 
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I look upon my self as a 100% modern man, and until someone can show me I in fact live 50 years from now (and this is some kind of time travel) I will consider my self a modern man, and not a future or past one...hold on, yes I am also a man (just checked, ohh it orible down there).
 
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slatersteven wrote:
I look upon my self as a 100% modern man, and until someone can show me I in fact live 50 years from now (and this is some kind of time travel) I will consider my self a modern man, and not a future or past one...hold on, yes I am also a man (just checked, ohh it orible down there).
but you lived in the past so doesnt that make you a passe man too
 
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The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
Like Caitlin Jenner
 
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When I think of a "modern man", I think of a guy who spends his days trying to convince people to switch to more modern furniture.
 
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Seems like the NY Times lost an advertiser that day and someone fished this off the "in case of white space" pile.
 
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BimmyJim wrote:
The Message wrote:
An alternative list:

1) The modern man has a penis, is an adult and lives in the present day.
Like Caitlin Jenner
Ok, I can have this conversation with someone that isn't... well, Trey.

I don't personally understand transgender people at all. It seems clear that "feminine" and "masculine" personalities are concepts founded in stereotypes that might be broadly applicable but that are still ultimately nothing more than that, therefore it makes sense to me to go by physical characteristics and I have no frame of reference for someone that feels like they should be something other than what they started as. However, it is also 100% meaningless to me in every possible sense of the word what anyone else chooses to identify as or look like. It will never affect me in any real way and has no impact on my existence. Therefore it seems even clearer that if someone that I would think of as a man says "hey, I'm actually a woman" then I should think of them as a woman going forward. I should use female words to refer to them, use whatever name they are comfortable with and always describe them as a woman to others because that's what that person wants and again it doesn't matter to me in the slightest.

The problem with people like Stone is that they can't just be right. It isn't enough to be able to say that a male by birth is a male for life by some reasonable set of definitions. I mean, that's where I'm coming from and I could probably get him to argue with me about it for the rest of the year so clearly that common ground is meaningless. No, they want to harass and attack and demean. They want to laugh at freaks and feel good about the just suffering of people different from them. It's pathetic and disgusting and just the least pleasant kind of car crash to rubberneck.

Sorry for using you as a springboard for my clarification rant, I have no idea where you're coming from but hopefully you're on the decent side of the fence. It's possible to both "disagree" with the transgender mindset and accept their extremely reasonable requests for accommodation (as if not being an aggressive dick about someone's private life is an "accommodation").
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A modern man is one that plays the new board games, isn't it?
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