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Subject: What people think "introvert" means rss

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1) An awesome book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

2) Microbadge: I'm an Introvert: I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with.

-DK
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Aren't both correct?
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qzhdad wrote:
Aren't both correct?
You're an extrovert, arent' you?
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The Western World is terrified of silence.
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tesuji wrote:
qzhdad wrote:
Aren't both correct?
You're an extrovert, arent' you?
Guilty.
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Drew1365 wrote:
jeRm! wrote:
The Western World is terrified of silence.
Intriguing construction.

Nature abhors a vacuum...

-DK
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I love being around people: team projects at work, crowded bars, parties, holiday gatherings, and obviously gaming. But I also value (and require) some "alone time." I don't mind going to see a movie alone (after all, I'm there to watch the movie, not to socialize). I enjoy being alone on long drives in my car. I play solo games. I like to flop down on the futon and read old comic books. I don't mind spending time at the mall alone. I can sit at a bar alone for hours and watch sports. I guess my mood determines whether I'm an introvert or extrovert at any moment.
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An interesting essay, Drew, but I think it misses a point. Or dodges it, I guess.

Quote:
Not for nothing does "gregarious" mean "part of the herd." But Thoreau understood that securing one's self-possession was worth a few wounded feelings. He may have put his neighbors off, but at least he was sure of himself. Those who would find solitude must not be afraid to stand alone.
...people who 'put their neighbors off' but are 'sure of themselves' as a result of their isolation tend to be those who don't have much in the way of successful careers or leadership achievements.

IE., I'd say I can very much related to the concept of 'never being alone' as a desirable state, and always interacting with others as a goal... but it's not because of being well-indoctrinated to being unable to find use of time alone. Rather, that I feel compelled to be ALWAYS WORKING - always doing something productive - and the most possible productive thing one can do entirely on their own is but a tiny and uninteresting fraction of what can be done as part of a group.

So the need to be 'always on' and 'always connected' has nothing to do with a desire for validation, so much as any such validation leads to useful networking opportunities or building of teams or relationships. Heck, even my time spent boardgaming I mentally justify by knowledge of the importance of keeping a mind exercised with new challenges, as well as the social networking aspects of it in relationship-building.

I think the general social aversion to introverts actually parallels a bit the general apathy many adults HAVE to gaming, in fact. "Isn't that kids stuff?" certainly a refrain we've all heard more than once. The problem isn't a cultural obsession with personal celebrity...so much as a strong revulsion to wasted time - time spent not 'working' or doing something otherwise productive (including networking and building new relationships). And people off on their own, doing their own thing... sure look to an extrovert like people wasting their time.
 
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DKahnt wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
jeRm! wrote:
The Western World is terrified of silence.
Intriguing construction.

Nature abhors a vacuum...

-DK
Silence does not equal a vacuum, though.

Just like darkness, or the lack of aromas in the air doesn't equal a vacuum.


One of my pet peeves is the "Oh, the TV is just on for background noise." I say turn off the TV and talk to each other, or read a book, or play a game, etc.

I'm an introvert and I enjoy talking with others, but I'm not going to compete with the TV, or shout louder than the other guy to do it.

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Your "wasting time" is my fulfillment.

I get that many things require a group to create, but that doesn't mean great things aren't created solo.
 
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jeRm! wrote:
The Western World is terrified of silence.
Yeah. I'm not Buddhist but I have to admire guys like this monk. What American even understands where this guy is at - much less could sit still for even a minute like this?:



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My favorite activity is just doing nothing by myself. I could sit and stare at a wall for hours.
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Drew1365 wrote:
mlcarter815 wrote:
My favorite activity is just doing nothing by myself. I could sit and stare at a wall for hours.
Ah, yeah. The DMV waiting room has its uses.
That involves people.
 
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Every day I make a deliberate effort not to appear to my neighbors as a "creepy loner."
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I would go a little bit farther and expand/clarify the definition, at least for me — it's not merely that I'm energized by alone time, but that socializing requires a much greater amount of energy from me than I observe it requiring from other people. For example, a really long social event with many people involved can sometimes leave me completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, sometimes even to the point where I am not able to function well the following day. I often think of this condition as "people poisoning", because that's how it feels to me. On some occasions this will happen in the middle of an event, and I suddenly find myself unable to act positive or hold up a conversation, even on topics that I am enthusiastic about; this is always a very unpleasant experience and a bit embarrassing.

I have learned over the years to "hoard" social energy and be sure that I have gas in the tank when there is an event that I want to do well at.

Anyone else have this experience?
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Drew1365 wrote:
jbrecken wrote:
Every day I make a deliberate effort not to appear to my neighbors as a "creepy loner."
Coincidentally, Mrs. Kravitz had the same goal.
Lennys mum?
 
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I am extremely introverted and shy. However, I have learned that:
-nobody cares about me being shy/introverted
-people crave and expect a happy, friendly & talkative person
-you are labeled as anything from "weird" to "arrogant" when you are not talkative

:shrugs:

I could live days without speaking and hate the telephone and TV. I don't put the radio on in the car because it's the only place where it's quiet. Stores and shopping malls have music on all the time and doctor's office waiting rooms usually have a TV on very loud. I love the quiet and relish it. So, there!!!
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I've known people who honestly thought introverts were anti-social.
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Gola wrote:
Anyone else have this experience?
I can talk about my experience with introversion.

Both my wife and I are introverts. The big difference being the nature of our jobs. I work as a letter carrier, and my wife is a nurse.

So for me, I spend six-seven hours a day on my route with virtually no human interaction. And that which I do get lasts no more than a couple minutes. And the time I spend in the office is relatively solitary as well.

My wife on the other hand is dealing with people for her whole shift, and moreover it is stressful and demanding, and has high consequences.

The result is that when I get home from work I am ready and looking forward to socializing with her.

On the other hand when she gets home from work she is exhausted, and needs space and time alone to recharge.

Even though I know this intellectually, it doesn't make it any easier for me emotionally.
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In my experience, most people call themselves "introverts" not because they are energized by solitude, but as an excuse as to why they aren't successful in this world.

"I'm an introvert. Since I don't like talking on the phone or interacting with people, this world has forced that I have to work part time at the library dusting off shelves for minimum wage.*" No, it's not because you're an introvert; it's because you're lazy. (And I say lazy because the next statement is usually "Why isn't the government canceling my student loans/giving me money/etc?" If you have made peace with a reduced lifestyle to go along with reduced interaction, have at it.)

Extroverts aren't the only ones using the wrong terms.



*NOTE: This is not hyperbole. I've heard that from someone, and variations thereof, from several of my (not not coincidental) millennial friends
 
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Coase wrote:
In my experience, most people call themselves "introverts" not because they are energized by solitude, but as an excuse as to why they aren't successful in this world.
Epic fail.
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Coase wrote:
In my experience, most people call themselves "introverts" not because they are energized by solitude, but as an excuse as to why they aren't successful in this world.

"I'm an introvert. Since I don't like talking on the phone or interacting with people, this world has forced that I have to work part time at the library dusting off shelves for minimum wage.*" No, it's not because you're an introvert; it's because you're lazy. (And I say lazy because the next statement is usually "Why isn't the government canceling my student loans/giving me money/etc?" If you have made peace with a reduced lifestyle to go along with reduced interaction, have at it.)

Extroverts aren't the only ones using the wrong terms.



*NOTE: This is not hyperbole. I've heard that from someone, and variations thereof, from several of my (not not coincidental) millennial friends
If you and your friends are saying this, then you are obviously extroverts. We introverts understand; we're used to people not understanding us.

Introversion is a real thing.

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/will-the...

Nine Signs You're Really an Introvert | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201...
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Coase wrote:
In my experience, most people call themselves "introverts" not because they are energized by solitude, but as an excuse as to why they aren't successful in this world.
If you would have made this accusation about extroverts, about 75 of them would have already called you out for being an asshole by now.
You're lucky the introverts are so overly non-confrontational.

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