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Subject: The Big V rss

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Dennis Ku
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Sooooo...in an attempt to avoid having a third child, I spent yesterday afternoon at a men's clinic getting a no-scalpel vasectomy done. For reals.

I walked into the clinic expecting to see a room full of crying men. No luck, said the receptionists - they had private waiting rooms, where I sat to fill out some paper work and applied a numbing patch. Again, for reals.

After an hour of waiting for the appropriate bits to lose feeling, it was a 5 minute procedure. A bunch of freezing shots, and before I knew it, I was done.

For anyone thinking of doing this, a few words of advice:

(1) Wear running shoes in case you decide to run away. Apparently, after I took the oral sedative, if I had tried to leave, they would have had to call security. Now, granted, the security guard downstairs was about 70 and had the vision of a wombat, but between my drowsiness and the large amount of construction going on outside the building, it would have been a good race.

(2) You've gotta be comfortable having the boys out and proud for the doc to grapple with.

(3) Make sure you have a few cans of cold beer waiting for you at home.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, other than the fact that Lenny said he would post about absolutely any subject, and I'm sitting at home, not allowed to be active for 2 weeks, icing my dingleberries.

For those of you who have read this, a poll:

Poll
Do you plan on getting a vasectomy at some point in your life?
Yes, I want to trap my sperm.
No, I want to have the chance to populate distant planets.
Actually, I've already had it done.
Ummm...I don't have a scrotum.
      88 answers
Poll created by futhee
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Where is the answer "Yes, I probably will, but no, I don't want to, needles frighten me"?
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King of All Simians — Not a Mere Diplomat
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How does the no-scalpel operation work? When I had mine seven years ago or so, I had to be put under general anesthesia. I was up and active the next day, though... No hematoma, thank Darwin.
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Dennis Ku
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MWChapel wrote:
Where is the answer "Yes, I probably will, but no, I don't want to, needles frighten me"?


I'm scared of needles too. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all - even though there were about 5 small freezing shots and two deep ones.
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Dennis Ku
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Holmes! wrote:
How does the no-scalpel operation work? When I had mine seven years ago or so, I had to be put under general anesthesia. I was up and active the next day, though... No hematoma, thank Darwin.


They puncture a tiny hole and use clamps to do the work through the tiny hole. I would think the risks of general anesthesia are not worth having when it comes to something as minor as a vasectomy.

I'm up and about today too. No pain, a bit of a dull ache. If I get a hematoma, I'm going to light myself on fire.
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Billy McBoatface
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futhee wrote:
I'm up and about today too. No pain, a bit of a dull ache. If I get a hematoma, I'm going to light myself on fire.

Can your hear the screaming of your little men, or did they give you ear plugs to wear for the first few days?
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futhee wrote:
MWChapel wrote:
Where is the answer "Yes, I probably will, but no, I don't want to, needles frighten me"?


I'm scared of needles too. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all - even though there were about 5 small freezing shots and two deep ones.


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Dennis Ku
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wmshub wrote:
futhee wrote:
I'm up and about today too. No pain, a bit of a dull ache. If I get a hematoma, I'm going to light myself on fire.

Can your hear the screaming of your little men, or did they give you ear plugs to wear for the first few days?


Not so much screaming as soft weeping.
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futhee wrote:
...I would think the risks of general anesthesia are not worth having when it comes to something as minor as a vasectomy...

You clearly don't hate children as much as I do.
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Matt
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You rang?

Oh, THAT "V."
TMI wrote:
Spoiler (click to reveal)
I had a similar thing done about 8 years ago for a similar reason. My least favorite part of the whole process was having to lie down on the table: I felt like I was lying on my back on top of a house with my hips at the peak of the roof, and, of course, the room was far too cold. (I felt ten times more exposed than I thought I would.)


Bags of frozen peas are awesome for the recovery process.

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There's a joke to be had here about a downed submarine, but I can't quite pull it together.
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Michael Carter
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I have considered it since I don't have a desire to have children, but it is nice to have the option in case I ever change my mind. I would be happy to find out that I am sterile, though, because that would make the choice for me.
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Chris Berry
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I was only down for the weekend when I had mine done. Valium is a wonderful drug.
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M C
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Just remember, you may not be unloaded yet.

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Dennis Ku
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It's interesting that the doctor was able to do the procedure at all, given the fact that my wife usually has my balls in a jar at home at all times.
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My husband had his done 32 years ago. Yeah it's going to be another Pierre story. At the time we had no car so he hitchhiked to the hospital. His doctor had never done a vasectomy before & Pierre didn't where underwear which his doctor should have informed him to wear but didn't. The doctor spent about 15 minutes rooting around for the right tube to cut but couldn't find it. Then he called over another doctor & they spent another 10, 15 minutes trying to find the right tube. Finally the head surgeon walks by gives a withering look to them pulls the tube out a bit & snip all in a few seconds. Pierre then hitched home. Over the next few days his testicles swelled up to the size of a cantaloupe & was pushing the tube to the outside of his body. We kept putting ice on them but the swelling wouldn't go down. Finally we had my Mom drive him to emergency. He was seen by an old semi retired urologist that smelled like booze as he wasn't really on duty just stepping in to help. He examines Pierre & looks at him with a straight face and says "You know, sometimes these things explode", then chuckled at his joke. Needless to say Pierre was none too impressed. Upshot is he got some antibiotics, pain meds & was fine in a few days.
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sunshiny wrote:
My husband had his done 32 years ago. Yeah it's going to be another Pierre story. At the time we had no car so he hitchhiked to the hospital. His doctor had never done a vasectomy before & Pierre didn't where underwear which his doctor should have informed him to wear but didn't. The doctor spent about 15 minutes rooting around for the right tube to cut but couldn't find it. Then he called over another doctor & they spent another 10, 15 minutes trying to find the right tube. Finally the head surgeon walks by gives a withering look to them pulls the tube out a bit & snip all in a few seconds. Pierre then hitched home. Over the next few days his testicles swelled up to the size of a cantaloupe & was pushing the tube to the outside of his body. We kept putting ice on them but the swelling wouldn't go down. Finally we had my Mom drive him to emergency. He was seen by an old semi retired urologist that smelled like booze as he wasn't really on duty just stepping in to help. He examines Pierre & looks at him with a straight face and says "You know, sometimes these things explode", then chuckled at his joke. Needless to say Pierre was none too impressed. Upshot is he got some antibiotics, pain meds & was fine in a few days.

Well, you've single-handedly dissuaded every dude who was on the fence...
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Holmes! wrote:
sunshiny wrote:
My husband had his done 32 years ago.

Well, you've single-handedly dissuaded every dude who was on the fence...


The hammer and chisel have gotten a little smaller since then...
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Michael Berg
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We have a family friend who had the procedure done a day or two before a series of flights from Boston to Seoul. Twenty two hours, one infection and several ice packs later, lets just say if given the option he wouldn't do it again.
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Dennis Ku
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At the risk of giving too much information (at this point, what the hell, right?), there's a bit of swelling, but no pain other than a dull ache. I can, however, pick up a distant radio station from Buffalo in my crotch. Is that normal?
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futhee wrote:
At the risk of giving too much information (at this point, what the hell, right?), there's a bit of swelling, but no pain other than a dull ache. I can, however, pick up a distant radio station from Buffalo in my crotch. Is that normal?

Sounds like you've got a good antenna.
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futhee wrote:
At the risk of giving too much information (at this point, what the hell, right?), there's a bit of swelling, but no pain other than a dull ache. I can, however, pick up a distant radio station from Buffalo in my crotch. Is that normal?


I don't think it's normal to have buffalo living in your crotch.
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Jlerpy wrote:
futhee wrote:
At the risk of giving too much information (at this point, what the hell, right?), there's a bit of swelling, but no pain other than a dull ache. I can, however, pick up a distant radio station from Buffalo in my crotch. Is that normal?


I don't think it's normal to have buffalo living in your crotch.


It's not?? Oh....

...guess I should get that looked at, then.
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Kyle
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I have no intention of having kids, something like this would be a good idea.
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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When I had mine done (about 30 years ago) they used a local to numb me. The first side went ok. The second one felt like they were trying to pull a bowling ball through a strand of spaghetti and I damn neart kicked the doctor in the face.

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