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Subject: Bovine discussion thread rss

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Rob
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This thread is intended for the exclusive discussion of bovines, including domestic cattle, Bison, the Water Buffalo, the Yak, and the four-horned and spiral-horned antelopes, among other animals. We will discuss their habitat, diet, medical treatment, breeding habits and other important bovine-related issues.

Please do not derail it with non-sensical comments or trolling of any kind. You have been warned.

Who would like to start the discussion?
 
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Antigonus Monophthalmus
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Cows are fat
 
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
BagpipeDan wrote:
Cows are fat


That was a non-sensical post, and you are banned from the discussion.
 
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
On second thought, I may have been too hasty. Please elaborate.
 
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Antigonus Monophthalmus
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Cows have a lot of body mass which causes their tummies to come out in every direction. Unless they're malnourished or something. But yeah, most cows I've seen on farms are round. I guess it means they're holding a lot of meat, or stomachs, or something.
 
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Rick B
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Some cow products are beef ribs, New York strip steaks, ribeye steaks, ground beef, and milk.
 
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
I heard somewhere that everyone has a water buffalo. Is that true?

Is it also true that mine is fast but your's is slow?
 
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Rick B
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Drew1365 wrote:
I like popsicles.


Those better be beef-flavored popsicles!
 
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
I've heard that bovines are often the target of "tipping" incidents, which sounds like a dreadfully dangerous business. Can anyone elaborate on this unusual pasttime?
 
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Marc P
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
If your neighbor insists on applying hair gel to his Highland Cow, for the purpose of achieving a "bed head" sort of tousle, does this benefit anyone? Should I worry about the cow?

Thank you SO MUCH for starting this thread. I didn't know where to turn.
 
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Drew1365 wrote:
I like popsicles.


You're walking a very thin line, Mr. Drew!
 
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Rick B
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Sinister Dexter wrote:
I've heard that bovines are often the target of "tipping" incidents, which sounds like a dreadfully dangerous business. Can anyone elaborate on this unusual pasttime?


I usually tip them 15%, because cow service is generally adequate but not great. Don't tip them less than 10% though--that's when it gets dangerous.
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Jon
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Mmmmmm....cow.
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Drew1365 wrote:
*song about liking cows*


That was an excellent addition, Drew. Makes up for the "popsicle incident".
 
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Joe McKinley
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much applause in the lecture-room, How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick; Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself, In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. W.W.
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
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Brandon Richards
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef

What do you call a cow with only 1 leg?
Steak
 
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Joe McKinley
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When I heard the learn’d astronomer; When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me; When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them; When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with
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much applause in the lecture-room, How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick; Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself, In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. W.W.
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Scott Firestone IV wrote:
I heard somewhere that everyone has a water buffalo. Is that true?

Is it also true that mine is fast but your's is slow?
 
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Steven Packard
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
It's fun to say "Cow".
 
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Rick B
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
from Kingpin:

Roy: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]

Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.

Roy: I'm gonna brush my teeth.
 
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John Earles
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Sinister Dexter wrote:
This thread is intended for the exclusive discussion of bovines, including domestic cattle, Bison, ...


Point 1: Personally I think Bison: Thunder on the Prairie by Kramer and Kiesling has gotten the knot-end of the feedbag. This is a great little game with an interesting mix of mechanics. Sure it's nothing revolutionary, few games are today, but its not as bad as folks have made it out to be.

Point 2: I'd love to see some statistics on whether books and movies such as Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation and Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me have had any real impact on the fast food industry and its treatment of Cows everywhere.

Point 3: Is Cattle Husbandry punishable as a form of beastiality? Discuss.

Point 4: If you had a pet cow what would you name it? Mine would be Meatloaf.

Point 5: If you died and had to be reincarnated as an animal, why not Wagyu cattle? Sure you would eventually be slaughtered for Kobe Beef, but in the meanwhile you would be massaged with sake, fed hefty quantities of the best feed and beer mash, and serenaded with classical music to ensure a peaceful sleep. Not too bad of a life, eh?

Point 6: Cow Tipping - Urban Myth or Reality?
 
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JessA
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Before I join this discussion, I need to know if you are supporting Euro-cows or Ameri-cows.
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Rob
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Jatoha wrote:
Before I join this discussion, I need to know if you are supporting Euro-cows or Ameri-cows.


I'll have you know, Madam, that when it comes to bovine, I play no favorites!
 
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Poochie D
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Cattle are ugly, stupid animals that deserve to be eaten. They should be grateful we honor them with barbecue sauce or Montreal steak spice.
 
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Phil Alberg
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail
Hmmm, what could possibly derail bovines...



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shumyum
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Re: Bovine discussion thread - please do not derail


Get it?
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