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Subject: What is love? (Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.) rss

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True Blue Jon
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So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.

What is your definition of love?
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Boaty McBoatface
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A temporary hormonal imbalance that leads to a strong desire that fades over time.
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Jon M
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So romantic!
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Boaty McBoatface
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Jon_1066 wrote:
So romantic!
Different thing altogether.
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Objectively, an electro-chemical brain state.
Subjectively, the most powerful and enjoyable feeling in the world.
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Mutton Chops
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quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.
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mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition that suggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
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A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
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Boaty McBoatface
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Dolphinandrew wrote:
mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition thatsuggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
I would say they love them about the same as cats love their owners.

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Boaty McBoatface
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Dispaminite wrote:
A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
Necrotic?
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slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
Necrotic?


Narcolepsy.
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slatersteven wrote:
Dolphinandrew wrote:
mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition thatsuggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
I would say they love them about the same as cats love their owners.



Cats only have three states. "Food Giver, Ignore, KILL!!!!!"

Love doesn't compute in there.
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Boaty McBoatface
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Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
Necrotic?


Narcolepsy.
Love is like a thief in the night who steals your heart.
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Boaty McBoatface
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Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dolphinandrew wrote:
mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition thatsuggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
I would say they love them about the same as cats love their owners.



Cats only have three states. "Food Giver, Ignore, KILL!!!!!"

Love doesn't compute in there.
With the exception of three (maybe) I would say that sums up very young kids too. You feed a child and be nice to it and it will react to you just like it's parents.
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slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
Necrotic?


Narcolepsy.
Love is like a thief in the night who steals your heart.


Love is like a box of chocolate.
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slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dolphinandrew wrote:
mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition thatsuggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
I would say they love them about the same as cats love their owners.



Cats only have three states. "Food Giver, Ignore, KILL!!!!!"

Love doesn't compute in there.
With the exception of three (maybe) I would say that sums up very young kids too. You feed a child and be nice to it and it will react to you just like it's parents.


You could, in theory, replace KILL with PLAYMATE!
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The chemical reaction in your brain that makes you not want to rub other people's naughty bits because you like how your significant other rubs yours.
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Boaty McBoatface
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Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
A narcaotic as powerful as Heroin or cocaine.*


*for the pedantic out there, I don't actually mean love is a narcotic
Necrotic?


Narcolepsy.
Love is like a thief in the night who steals your heart.


Love is like a box of chocolate.
It melts over time.
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Boaty McBoatface
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Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
slatersteven wrote:
Dolphinandrew wrote:
mutton_chops wrote:
quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.


I'm afraid whoever told you that was right. Dysfunctional people can be very self-sacrificing because of what they get out of it emotionally.


It's also a definition thatsuggests (young) children don't love their parents all that much.
I would say they love them about the same as cats love their owners.



Cats only have three states. "Food Giver, Ignore, KILL!!!!!"

Love doesn't compute in there.
With the exception of three (maybe) I would say that sums up very young kids too. You feed a child and be nice to it and it will react to you just like it's parents.


You could, in theory, replace KILL with PLAYMATE!
In both cases.
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Bojan Ramadanovic
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quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.

What is your definition of love?


Primarily) A strong desire to associate and spend time with the loved person or object

Secondarily) Abundance of good will and best wishes towards the loved person (more rarely object).

Secondary definition partially accords with yours, but not entirely, because depending on circumstances one can have lots of good will and best wishes but no desire/ability to self-sacrifice to see those wishes come through.
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Lee Fisher
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quozl wrote:
So I was just told that my definition of love (self-sacrifice for the sake of another) is not common and is rubbish.

What is your definition of love?


From where is that definition?

You don't really have to love or even know someone to self-sacrifice.
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While I recognize the common use of the word love, to me love is making the conscious decision to treat someone in such a way that will allow them to reach their maximum potential.

Conversely, if it's an uncontrollable biological response, it isn't love. Though the affinity these biological responses engender may inspire one to love.

I heard somewhere that the KJV translators used the word "charity" for Paul's idea of love because the word "love" had already become too corrupted by romances and courtly intrigue to properly convey what they felt Paul intended.
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Joe Deschenes
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It's a tough question to answer quozl, I do kind of agree with someone else who said your definition seems to reflect more the idea of altruism then love. I think you need to include empathy somehow. Love to me is wanting to improve the well-being of another (or yourself). It can include self-sacrifice, but I think it's probably better defined in terms of emotional commitment? I want those I love to feel pleasure, satisfaction, inspiration, etc. so I will commit to them (or myself) to help to feel those emotions. On the other hand, love also compels me to share their grief, sorrow and burdens. Love can cause pain and worry in that case, but it may be helping them cope with those situations, leading back to improving their well-being. It also reciprocates, people who love me will want to share my burdens in order to help me.

I know this is all very flowery language and full of poorly defined terms. I don't often say too much on these forums but I kind of wanted to give you an answer that didn't reduce one of humanity's greatest emotions into a basic biological function. To those people, love seems to be the equivalent of passing gas. Natural, fleeting yet satisfying for a moment.

Thanks for reading, the planet could use a bit more positive chemical brain reactions right now.



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Andy Beaton
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Steve Rogers
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For myself...

"Love is an irrational and irreconcilable need for another person, where your sense of self is rendered incomplete without their presence in your company."
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