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Space Alert: The New Frontier» Forums » Variants

Subject: Ship Mods Variant rss

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Sean McCarthy
United States
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Greetings, cadets!

Oh, you're not cadets? You've been in space before? Well I don't know how I was supposed to guess that, given the stats. Anyway...

It has come to the attention of the Galactic Military Academy's advertisers that up to 99% of ad impressions that we assured them were reaching "very impressionable eyeballs" were, in fact, reaching soon-to-be-deceased eyeballs. Eyeballs whose impressionability was, while technically accurate, not a good predictor of future purchases. So long story short, our ad revenue is tanking and we've had to look for other ways to meet our budget while still engaging in wildly irresponsible space exploration.

One such avenue is what I'm here to tell you about today! We're calling it "Ship Mods" - which has the benefit of sounding kind of like it's improving the ship - and it's an exciting new way to produce low-cost ships. Rather than using top-of-the-line components to build the ships, we use, well, um... I have to explain how assembly lines work. 90% of the produced components meet the manufacturer's minimum quality standards and are distributed through the usual channels, and 10% are, well, super cheap! And sometimes they do weird extra things! Anyway we've shifted our supply chains entirely over to using our "special relationships" with the manufacturers to get our hands on "the good stuff".

What you have to realize is that not only are these components waaay cheaper, but almost all of them work perfectly fine for the expected lifetime of the ship. Like, maybe your main cannon is acting a bit weird, but everything else is just like you expect, so who's even going to notice? Now of course, if you're out on a series of missions, more things might start to act funky. But don't worry. Our ship can detect the nature of the, um, alternate behaviors, and will display the information for you in an easy-to-read way.

Any questions? Yes, you in the back. No, I will not be handing out scissors. I don't want another Orion IV incident, now do we, ha ha! You will have to supply your own.

Anyone else? Yes, you with the slightly crossed eyes. What are you confused about?
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