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J
United States
Lexington
Kentucky
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The Onion wrote:
Saying it was completely exhausted and overwhelmed by its strenuous workload, Donald Trump’s prefrontal cortex admitted Thursday it was simply unable to filter through the torrent of impulsive comments coming from the rest of the presidential candidate’s brain.

“I’m just completely inundated with erratic thoughts and knee-jerk reactions from all sides—there’s no way I can possibly screen everything that’s being produced in here,” said the higher-order structure of Trump’s brain responsible for impulse control and long-term planning, adding that the number of hastily formed ideas it was expected to evaluate and cull before they reached the speech motor cortex had been increasing steadily over the past year.

“Sometimes, four or five different instinctive urges will try to get through all at once, and it’s just impossible to stop every one of them. I keep thinking they’ll eventually peter out, but there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. I’ve been doing this for 70 years—I’m just drained.”

Trump’s prefrontal cortex admitted that it could use significant help from the neural circuits in the angular gyrus and posterior cingulate that are tasked with moral decision-making, but noted that the ineffectual structures had stopped functioning years ago.

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Chris Binkowski
United States
Rochester
Michigan
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Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.
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Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Sarxis wrote:
Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.


That statement stands as a condemnation of Hillary, of Trump, of Twitter, and of humanity as a whole.

Our bread is flavorless and our circuses are being shut down for cruelty to animals. Whatever will we have left?
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Boaty McBoatface
England
County of Essex
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GameCrossing wrote:
Sarxis wrote:
Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.


That statement stands as a condemnation of Hillary, of Trump, of Twitter, and of humanity as a whole.

Our bread is flavorless and our circuses are being shut down for cruelty to animals. Whatever will we have left?
Or as an example of how people like an entertaining idiot.

It may not be reflective of a believe in his values.
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J
United States
Lexington
Kentucky
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Sarxis wrote:
Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.

Justin Bieber tops them both by a very wide margin surprise
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J.D. Hall
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GameCrossing wrote:
Sarxis wrote:
Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.


That statement stands as a condemnation of Hillary, of Trump, of Twitter, and of humanity as a whole.

Our bread is flavorless and our circuses are being shut down for cruelty to animals. Whatever will we have left?

Football and reality TV.
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jeremy cobert
United States
cedar rapids
Iowa
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You're losing your fastball old timer. You got Trump on the brain. Quoting the Onion now ? You really have reached an all time low.
 
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Josh
United States
Pennsylvania
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Thing is, he knows it is for humor value, that's the difference.
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Sam I am
United States
Portage
Michigan
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NO PICKLE!
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Sarxis wrote:
Do you know what's really terrible? How much more popular Trump is on Twitter than Hillary. Approximately 2 million more subscribers, and tens of thousands of likes and shares per post versus Hillary's couple thousand.

"Don't stop believin" or Unicorns shit magic marshmallows or everyone slows down to look at the car crash.
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