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Subject: Enough with the wasting of money at CERN rss

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Isaac Citrom
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CERN's Large Hadron Collider (LHC) (never mind all of CERN) has cost to date more than 45 trillion Ugandan shillings. Enough already!

What use are knowing the names of the charm and strange quarks, quantum chromodynamics, gluon flux and the rest of the endless list of useless information.

I want to know, for 45 trillion (just at CERN), where is warp drive, beaming transporters, replicators, weapons with a stun setting, and most importantly, dynamic holo-imagery?

Do any of you actually care about mythical cosmic strings and wave interference patterns that supposedly demonstrate something. Demonstrate a box that on demand produces perfect Big Macs and pre-rounded wargame counters.

Why am I not already being served by several genuine robots that software engineers assure us can never rebel? Why is my wife not an android?

Where is my medicine cabinet hypospray that can be set to cure anything ever?

Do you realize that with just a few of these things, the money spent on mitigating hunger, HIV/AIDS just to name one scourge of humanity, and work could be spent to build huge fleets of enormous space aircraft carriers. Trust me, cybernetic humanoids are never friendly.

Bloody hell, with replicators and holosuites you'd never see nine tenths of the world's population ever again--no more war!

But no, we absolutely, positively must know why the universe is expanding and spend ungodly amounts of money just to make a scientist called Higgs famous.


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Scott Lewis
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You make a good point. And based on this article, we'd better hurry, because our evil cybernetic overlords may be closer than we thought!!!
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Isaac Citrom
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Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
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Scott Lewis
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isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.

Did you purchase your wife? Maybe you have WifeAndroid 0.5, which still was in beta and had a few bugs?
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David Jones
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sigmazero13 wrote:
isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.

Did you purchase your wife? Maybe you have WifeAndroid 0.5, which still was in beta and had a few bugs?


You are soooo gonna love version 4 (code name Wife Cream Sandwich)
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Bryan Thunkd
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isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.
Have you considered that denying your requests is simply the normal appropriate human response in this situation? And as the goal is to create an AI that's indistinguishable from a human, she could just be next-level AI technology.

If she had agreed to your requests, we could deduce that she was an android with inferior AI that couldn't adequately mimic normal human standards... but it's unclear here whether she's a normal human or really advanced AI.
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Christopher Dearlove
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You wanted science fictional technologies out of CERN?

As a friend of mine recently commented when some detail of something or other was in dispute, it's a shame we don't have little pocket devices with access to all the world's information. Oh, wait a minute ...

Of course CERN didn't invent to mobile phone. Or the Internet. But it did invent the World Wide Web. Whose contribution to changing the face of the world in a manner that would have seemed science fiction when I was born. Makes the cost of CERN look like small change. Just from that one thing.

(Yes, of course someone else would have done it. But pretty sure it would have been in either another university, research institute, or in one of those corporate research facilities that companies used to allow to produce all sorts of stuff with no obvious bottom line like Bell Labs or Parc Xerox.)
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Matt Riddle
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Dearlove wrote:
You wanted science fictional technologies out of CERN?

As a friend of mine recently commented when some detail of something or other was in dispute, it's a shame we don't have little pocket devices with access to all the world's information. Oh, wait a minute ...

Of course CERN didn't invent to mobile phone. Or the Internet. But it did invent the World Wide Web. Whose contribution to changing the face of the world in a manner that would have seemed science fiction when I was born. Makes the cost of CERN look like small change. Just from that one thing.

(Yes, of course someone else would have done it. But pretty sure it would have been in either another university, research institute, or in one of those corporate research facilities that companies used to allow to produce all sorts of stuff with no obvious bottom line like Bell Labs or Parc Xerox.)


ya, but what about something with a little pizazz
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Matt
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riddlen wrote:
Dearlove wrote:
You wanted science fictional technologies out of CERN?

As a friend of mine recently commented when some detail of something or other was in dispute, it's a shame we don't have little pocket devices with access to all the world's information. Oh, wait a minute ...

Of course CERN didn't invent to mobile phone. Or the Internet. But it did invent the World Wide Web. Whose contribution to changing the face of the world in a manner that would have seemed science fiction when I was born. Makes the cost of CERN look like small change. Just from that one thing.

(Yes, of course someone else would have done it. But pretty sure it would have been in either another university, research institute, or in one of those corporate research facilities that companies used to allow to produce all sorts of stuff with no obvious bottom line like Bell Labs or Parc Xerox.)


ya, but what about something with a little pizazz


Jet. Packs.
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Chris R.
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(As reported 7 days ago in at least three British newspapers, some strange people seem to have access to the place, but I don't want your article to get RSP'd, so nevermind.)
 
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Michael Howden
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sikeospi wrote:
but I don't want your article to get RSP'd, so nevermind.)

I think we've hit 2 out of 3 already. Unless the request the OP's android-wife would not comply with was, "make me a hot pocket."
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Barry Harvey
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Just how did the senior crewman of the deck of HMS Higgs become so famous?
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Chris Johnson
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Galstaff wrote:
sikeospi wrote:
but I don't want your article to get RSP'd, so nevermind.)

I think we've hit 2 out of 3 already. Unless the request the OP's android-wife would not comply with was, "make me a hot pocket."


*Especially* if that was the request...
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Michael Berg
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Drew1365 wrote:
isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.


Hmmm. So what I hear you saying is that my wife might be an android.


I can verify from personal experience: your wife must be an android.
 
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Scott O'Brien
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Someone has apparently confused scientific research with engineering / product research and development.
 
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Fraser
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isaacc wrote:
She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.


Well, it depends if the three laws of Robotics apply to Androids doesn't it? whistle
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Mark Finch
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isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.


In my experience wives are very prone to denial of service attacks.
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Paul - the
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sigmazero13 wrote:
isaacc wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Quote:
Why is my wife not an android?


How do you know she's not?


She's refused to accommodate certain requests of mine that an android I might have purchased certainly would have cheerfully fulfilled. QED.
.

Did you purchase your wife? Maybe you have WifeAndroid 0.5, which still was in beta and had a few bugs?


Sounds like the old update from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 error.
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Josh
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Worth stating that from a graphic design perspective Ugandan shillings are really awesome. The front shows something anthropogenic, while the reverse depicts an animal.
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Ole Richard Tuft
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There's never been done any research at the LHC. The whole thing is just a giant underground racetrack where rich twats can race their supercars. Justin Bieber is a frequent guest. Excess funding is funneled through fake Ugandan banks to bankroll fictional African guerilla leaders with English forenames and African surnames and their attempts to reorganize the political landscape prior to the East African Rift ripping the continent apart.
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